Au pair eats our junk food so fast!

[Anonymous]

Is it ok to limit how much our au pair eats "treats"? For example, we do have some pop in the house but for us, it's only an occasional treat, like when we order pizza every couple weeks, and even more rare for the children. She has one with lunch and one with dinner, so the case that would last our family a month before she came lasts a week and we never even had any. Another example: we buy a box of donuts and pre-Au pair, they would last a week. She will eat them for breakfast every morning and sometimes as a snack or after lunch as well. We buy a bag of chips and she eats them all before we even think of having any. We have had a large bag of m&ms in our pantry for a month and had only eaten about a quarter of it. It was gone in a week after she found them. You can see we are not a "healthy food only" house, but I am shocked by HOW MUCH junk food she eats and how fast. And it's annoying because I feel like if want to have any around for the times when we want it, we have to hide it from her. If its there, she eats it...FAST. Also, it's expensive to replace it that fast. Finally, I feel like its a bad example for the kids to eat so much junk, but feel hypocritical saying anything because we did, after all, buy it in the first place. Advice?

[Anonymous]

You're the one who needs to write that book.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're the one who needs to write that book.

?? What does this mean??

[Anonymous]

Stop complaining. You aren't her mother and you shouldn't be limiting what she can and cannot eat. If you don't want her eating your precious treats, don't buy them. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP but would have said it more nicely.

You cannot tell her what she can and can't eat - the only thing you could say is to ask that she make sure she's modeling healthy eating habits for the kids (assuming they're old enough for that to be legitimate). Otherwise the only other thing to do is to stop buying it, or I guess buy it for yourself and store it in your bedroom or somewhere she wouldn't go/wouldn't take it from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP but would have said it more nicely.

You cannot tell her what she can and can't eat - the only thing you could say is to ask that she make sure she's modeling healthy eating habits for the kids (assuming they're old enough for that to be legitimate). Otherwise the only other thing to do is to stop buying it, or I guess buy it for yourself and store it in your bedroom or somewhere she wouldn't go/wouldn't take it from.

Is not buying it even an option? I thought you were supposed to buy food for you au pair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop complaining. You aren't her mother and you shouldn't be limiting what she can and cannot eat. If you don't want her eating your precious treats, don't buy them. Problem solved.

OP here and I'm not concerned about her dietary or nutritional status. I'm frustrated by that fact that a) the food I buy for the family (which includes her) is being eaten by mostly one member of the family so fast, and in such great quantities that others do not get a chance to enjoy it and b) we can't afford to keep buying it at this rate, especially considering that it is not feeding the whole family.

My choices, as I see them are: 1)rematch and explain we need a better role model for our kids and that we can't meet her dietary needs on our budget , 2)explain the problem and ask her to cut back, 3) quit buying it until she leaves and quietly seethe with resentment for the rest of the year or 4)buy it and hide it and only eat it when she's not around and hope the kids don't spill the beans. (I don't really see this as an option, but technically, it is).

If it was any other food, rather than junk food, the problem would be the same in this regard. If I was buying gourmet cheeses, or exotic fruits or filet and lobster and this happened with those foods, the cost would be greater but the problems the same. The fact that it is junk food just adds the poor role modeling issue to the mix.

[Anonymous]

OP, this is how it works with an AP. You cannot call your AP agency and tell them you need to hire someone who eats less (?!) - anyway, just wait until your kids are teenagers and see what the grocery bill looks like then!

You have a couple of other options. You could talk with your AP about creating a monthly grocery budget and let her take an hour or two a week to go to the store and stock up on what she wants within the budget you've agreed upon. She'll quickly learn how expensive her preferences are and will adjust as needed. You could also start buying brand-name foods or make bulk purchases at a warehouse store. Or keep buying what you're buying but start separating "kid" food from "adult" food and ask the AP to only eat from the food set aside for the adults (so when she flies through the sodas, fine, she has to wait for more - meanwhile you can take one from any shelf you please!).

Personally I think figuring out how much you're spending on food for her right now, figuring out what is reasonable*, and letting her manage her own groceries separately is your best bet.

*I would think $70/week would be fair - you need to be realistic here, and remember that shopping for bargains may not be obvious and easy for her, but that's also something you could teach her how to look for. If she's young or struggles with English still, why not sit down with her and show her weekly pull-outs for various items on-sale and how to prioritize her spending? You could eve go on her first grocery trip with her and help her, if she wants that much guidance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is how it works with an AP. You cannot call your AP agency and tell them you need to hire someone who eats less (?!) - anyway, just wait until your kids are teenagers and see what the grocery bill looks like then!

You have a couple of other options. You could talk with your AP about creating a monthly grocery budget and let her take an hour or two a week to go to the store and stock up on what she wants within the budget you've agreed upon. She'll quickly learn how expensive her preferences are and will adjust as needed. You could also start buying brand-name foods or make bulk purchases at a warehouse store. Or keep buying what you're buying but start separating "kid" food from "adult" food and ask the AP to only eat from the food set aside for the adults (so when she flies through the sodas, fine, she has to wait for more - meanwhile you can take one from any shelf you please!).

Personally I think figuring out how much you're spending on food for her right now, figuring out what is reasonable*, and letting her manage her own groceries separately is your best bet.

*I would think $70/week would be fair - you need to be realistic here, and remember that shopping for bargains may not be obvious and easy for her, but that's also something you could teach her how to look for. If she's young or struggles with English still, why not sit down with her and show her weekly pull-outs for various items on-sale and how to prioritize her spending? You could eve go on her first grocery trip with her and help her, if she wants that much guidance.

On the contrary, diet is often a factor in matching. I do ask au pairs in my interviews about their diet. I do not want a kosher or vegetarian or vegan au pair, for example. I do not want an au pair with food allergies. I do not want an AP with a high maintenance or expensive diet. It's totally your prerogative to rematch if this cannot be solved.

[Anonymous]

Rematching because an aupair eats too much of your food? Boggles my mind. I'm sure your agency LOVES you as a client.

[Anonymous]

Does she have a weight problem?

[Anonymous]

OP. I think you are being unrealistic.

[Anonymous]

I think the OP is being perfectly reasonable and realistic. It's annoying and unfair when one individual is consuming the majority of snacks, juice, etc. that is purchased for an entire family. How would you feel if you never had a chance to enjoy your favorite snack because, say, your sibling, spouse, MIL, whomever, decided to eat it all in a very short time-span?

It's not like the OP is saying she doesn't want to purchase food for the AP and fairly accommodate her dietary needs, the AP simply needs to be aware that their are other individuals around as well, and one must be considerate of all family members (i.e. leave some food behind).

I'm a nanny, a vegetarian too. My employers always purchase items that I like (even vegetarian entrees and whatnot), as well as common snacks. Since I understand that other members of the family deserve a fair share too, I don't burn through the food. I limit myself because it's simply the common sense thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Op is a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is how it works with an AP. You cannot call your AP agency and tell them you need to hire someone who eats less (?!) - anyway, just wait until your kids are teenagers and see what the grocery bill looks like then!

You have a couple of other options. You could talk with your AP about creating a monthly grocery budget and let her take an hour or two a week to go to the store and stock up on what she wants within the budget you've agreed upon. She'll quickly learn how expensive her preferences are and will adjust as needed. You could also start buying brand-name foods or make bulk purchases at a warehouse store. Or keep buying what you're buying but start separating "kid" food from "adult" food and ask the AP to only eat from the food set aside for the adults (so when she flies through the sodas, fine, she has to wait for more - meanwhile you can take one from any shelf you please!).

Personally I think figuring out how much you're spending on food for her right now, figuring out what is reasonable*, and letting her manage her own groceries separately is your best bet.

*I would think $70/week would be fair - you need to be realistic here, and remember that shopping for bargains may not be obvious and easy for her, but that's also something you could teach her how to look for. If she's young or struggles with English still, why not sit down with her and show her weekly pull-outs for various items on-sale and how to prioritize her spending? You could eve go on her first grocery trip with her and help her, if she wants that much guidance.

np here, i like this suggestion