Is my nanny stealing from me?

[Anonymous]

Gosh, if I fired her, pp, I might get stuck with my own kid. I'd rather her rip me off blind!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the problem with having parents come to the "Nanny Forum" instead of having the Nanny Discussion in the DCUM parents' forum like before: you get mostly nanny POVs.

I think you are very wrong with saying the forum in this location means mostly nanny POV's. The old forum was in the NON-Parenting section. It is still there, with a link to this one. Anyone that goes to that one would end up here by finding they can't post there and using the link to get to this one. What you said is BS really. The nanny forum has not changed just because it has it's own "forum" instead of a subsection of the main site. There is no difference from calling it the Nanny Forum or Nanny Discussion. Someone that wants to see things wrong with something will always find little things to pick apart, but in reality, there is nothing different other than having a general discussion area and new subsections for regional areas, as well as sections for Employer Issues, Au Pairs, Job Advice and so on, instead of it being all thrown into one discussion area.

People need to get over it and realize that it can be helpful having different topics being separated like this. Pretty funny that so many people are against change of any kind when dealing with a career path that pretty much means change of some kind every year (kids that age and have different schedules, changing positions, etc). Dealing with means by either being a nanny or an MB/DB employing one, which is what most people here are.

Ok, let's do a poll and see how many of the respondents are nannies vs. parents.

[Anonymous]

I'm not understanding the vitriol in some of these posts. Treating a nanny well does not equate to letting her take your wine and food for your family. Why is that a difficult concept to comprehend for some on here???

[Anonymous]

Why would any parent keep such a sitter??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was a topic not to long ago on the old forum.

And the only thing I think strange is the same wording about the food being left in the cabinet over the fridge. The special chocolates and wine etc.

I only remember this because in my circle of family and friends no one uses that cabinet (it's to high to reach) or there is no cabinet (built in fridge from floor to ceiling).

But I also remember the odd things like this so I'm not going to call troll yet

+1 I remember the post too. Wasn't the nanny in the old post bringing her daughter to work? And the nanny was giving the daughter the special chocolate in the cabinet over the fridge?

[Anonymous]

This is the problem with having parents come to the "Nanny Forum" instead of having the Nanny Discussion in the DCUM parents' forum like before: you get mostly nanny POVs.

The bad nannies came out on droves on the nanny forum when it was under the parents section as well. The nannies really do themselves a disservice on these forums. I'm the Op is ignoring the idiot responses but they have created the reputation that at least a number of nannies believe it is perfectly fine to steal. Nice going ladies.

[Anonymous]

Bad nannies AND parents who steal. We see all the copy paper coming home from the office, not from the office supply store.

[Anonymous]

We're talking about a 40-something adult who has 20 years of professional experience, not a college-aged student.

I honestly don't know anyone who bothers to do this. A better office analogy to the nanny taking home large slabs of frozen meat would be someone deciding to just take home the fax machine or a few boxes of the K-cups.

[Anonymous]

All stealing is wrong.

[Anonymous]

I highly doubt the nanny is stealing your food. I think it is probably a misunderstanding, or a miscommunication. Maybe DH grabbed a bottle of wine to give his coworker who just got engaged. Maybe you don't count very well. Maybe the nanny thought the food was for the family and thought it would be OK to use if she was cooking it for her and your kid. Who knows? Ask the nanny but don't go ballistic if she says she has no idea. Even if she was stealing, don't you think she'd be smart enough to take the stuff she's "allowed" to use?

Did you look at the list of missing things? A whole salmon, slabs of frozen meat? Yes, I'm sure that the nanny decided that rice cereal was too boring for the baby so she decided to cook them an entire salmon for lunch. I know that whenever my DH lands a contract at work, he grabs a slab of frozen chicken to take into the team. They pull out their braising pans or slow cookers in the kitchenette at work and make a tasty meal for the office. Guys do this stuff all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was a topic not to long ago on the old forum.

And the only thing I think strange is the same wording about the food being left in the cabinet over the fridge. The special chocolates and wine etc.

I only remember this because in my circle of family and friends no one uses that cabinet (it's to high to reach) or there is no cabinet (built in fridge from floor to ceiling).

But I also remember the odd things like this so I'm not going to call troll yet

+1 I remember the post too. Wasn't the nanny in the old post bringing her daughter to work? And the nanny was giving the daughter the special chocolate in the cabinet over the fridge?

Not OP but I remember that post also and I smiled to myself because I have a stash of special chocolate hidden away from DH and the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP needs to just GROW UP and do her own babysitting. Done.

OP is all grown up with a full-time job,and a husband and child. Plus, she is able to provide a great nanny job but the ungrateful one she has now is stealing from her. Right now it is food but later on, maybe it will be medicine, batteries, toys or other household/personal items? Or maybe something accidentally happens to the child but the nanny won't tell the mother the truth because it might be the thing that gets her fired because of the lack of trust between them due to the stealing.

[Anonymous]

I remember two different posts. In one, the MB had given the nanny a debit card to do the family grocery shopping. She found out the nanny was spending hundreds of dollars and when the MB got hold of one of the receipts realized the nanny was doing all of her grocery shopping as well on the MB's card. In another post, the OP caught the nanny moving bags of food and household supplies and large tupperware containers of their food out into her car before the MB arrived home.

It happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I remember two different posts. In one, the MB had given the nanny a debit card to do the family grocery shopping. She found out the nanny was spending hundreds of dollars and when the MB got hold of one of the receipts realized the nanny was doing all of her grocery shopping as well on the MB's card. In another post, the OP caught the nanny moving bags of food and household supplies and large tupperware containers of their food out into her car before the MB arrived home.

It happens.

Do you have a link to the second one. I would like to read it. What did the MB do and what was the nannys excuse?

[Anonymous]

I'm not going to lock up my food in my house, thankyouverymuch. But yes, I like to keep dark chocolate and wine, (my only vices) above the fridge away from DS's prying hands! It's the only cupboard he hasn't managed to open and pull everything out of.

The situation is really unnerving. Mainly because I am worried for her wellbeing if she needs to steal food. If she was honest and told me she was struggling financially I would be more than happy to provide her with extra food to take home or more hours. But I need open communication about her needs. I need honesty. I've already asked her once and she denied anything.

OP, it isn't your responsibility to worry about her reasons for stealing. Your responsibility is to pay her a fair wage (and you are paying too much if you are in the DC area) and you are doing just that. If she can't live on it, she needs a new profession. The meals you already offer are a great perk and are very generous. If she is stealing, fire her for cause and she won't win an unemployment claim.