Au pairs are terrible, done with this program never again,especially w/J1 ban

[Anonymous]

Definitely done with this program. We've done it for 7 years and the first 2 were great but since then it's been dud and dud, most lie about their experience and can't even watch the kids for the 20 hours we setup a week, one turned out to be a prostitute, another was a pothead, many can't drive, many are here just for a vacation and leave. The ones that come here don't' realize how good it is so they rematch and then regret it when they find the next family doesn't have a 10,000 SF house w/ older kids and a provided car and 20/hours a week of work. You either get the new ones that you have to train and get accustomed to and they might leave because they don't know any better or the rematches that have issues or will only be here for a year.

Totally terrible never again, we're getting an experienced nanny.

[Anonymous]

Need a tissue?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you're not good at screening people to find the best ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely done with this program. We've done it for 7 years and the first 2 were great but since then it's been dud and dud, most lie about their experience and can't even watch the kids for the 20 hours we setup a week, one turned out to be a prostitute, another was a pothead, many can't drive, many are here just for a vacation and leave. The ones that come here don't' realize how good it is so they rematch and then regret it when they find the next family doesn't have a 10,000 SF house w/ older kids and a provided car and 20/hours a week of work. You either get the new ones that you have to train and get accustomed to and they might leave because they don't know any better or the rematches that have issues or will only be here for a year.

Totally terrible never again, we're getting an experienced nanny.

Did you just realize this or something new happened? because every other months there is thread like this...

[Anonymous]

I am on au pair #4 and all have been really great. You are clearly doing something very wrong when screening or choosing your au pairs. I also find it really hard to believe your au pair became a prostitute after moving to the country and suspect you are just a horrible person. Glad you are getting out. These girls deserve better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am on au pair #4 and all have been really great. You are clearly doing something very wrong when screening or choosing your au pairs. I also find it really hard to believe your au pair became a prostitute after moving to the country and suspect you are just a horrible person. Glad you are getting out. These girls deserve better.

I was with you until the bolded part...are you insinuating that OP turned her AP into a prostitute or that she is lying?

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry, you don’t sound like you’ve had a good experience and that sucks. However, it also sounds like you may not have screened carefully and been open with communication in order to facilitate having a better experience. Even with a rematch you (generally, not today) have options and aren’t forced to take the first au pair who crosses your path. We’ve hosted 6 au pairs and had a great experience every time. Some of them were not the absolute best personality match for our family, but we still worked hard to make it a positive experience. We’ve never had a rematch because we screen very carefully and insist on open and honest communication. We also treat our au pairs like the adults they are, which also means we expect them to be responsible, mature (to an extent) and able to be a fully functioning member of our household

[Anonymous]

We’ve hosted 4 au pairs and our first became a prostitute while she was here. Starting hanging out at particular clubs and definitely fell into the wrong crowd. I wish I was lying. Maybe sugar baby is a more apt description.

[Anonymous]

Yes our last AuPair had 2 friends who were selling their bodies. Not terribly uncommon.

We are done as well. Figured that out in April. Luckily we were smart enough to only hire a professional American citizen as a nanny when our kids were under 5 and it was critical we not cut corners, and have excellent childcare. 3 years in this program and definitly done.

I think the people who get offended by this simply have low standards for who watches their children.

[Anonymous]

Hosted for five years, and one of our au pairs mentioned the sugar daddies who prey on APs. Not uncommon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hosted for five years, and one of our au pairs mentioned the sugar daddies who prey on APs. Not uncommon.

I was a first time host mom this year and absolutely heard the same from my au pair. Her friends were sugar babies.

I also agree with an au pair not being the best choice for full-time care for children under 5.

Finally, this year is a mess. The visa ban has turned the process of matching with an in country au pair into a competition of who has the fanciest house, cars, beach town, least amount of children, etc. The cultural exchange aspect has been completely compromised.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I also agree with an au pair not being the best choice for full-time care for children under 5.

Finally, this year is a mess. The visa ban has turned the process of matching with an in country au pair into a competition of who has the fanciest house, cars, beach town, least amount of children, etc. The cultural exchange aspect has been completely compromised.

This is true. We picked up an in country AP and are paying way over minimum. We are also living at our beach house until late September. Our OOC AP will arrive post ban; when hopefully things are more normal. But if you do not have a car for your AP, second home or other perks forget about in country. It is legit a premium market for them.

[Anonymous]

And the question I come back to is why is there a premium market for au pairs? I had an okay, not terrible experience. But the childcare was average, keeping the kids alive, but not actively engaging them and it was a lot of work for me to host a young person in my home and try to provide a cultural exchange for her. Why provide a car, high stipend, vacations up front before you even know if this person is going to do a stellar job of caring for your children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hosted for five years, and one of our au pairs mentioned the sugar daddies who prey on APs. Not uncommon.

I was a first time host mom this year and absolutely heard the same from my au pair. Her friends were sugar babies.

I also agree with an au pair not being the best choice for full-time care for children under 5.

Finally, this year is a mess. The visa ban has turned the process of matching with an in country au pair into a competition of who has the fanciest house, cars, beach town, least amount of children, etc. The cultural exchange aspect has been completely compromised.

Yep. Sugar babies ARE prostitutes. They are cautioned in training not to engage in this (criminal) behavior. Some do not listen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am on au pair #4 and all have been really great. You are clearly doing something very wrong when screening or choosing your au pairs. I also find it really hard to believe your au pair became a prostitute after moving to the country and suspect you are just a horrible person. Glad you are getting out. These girls deserve better.

I was with you until the bolded part...are you insinuating that OP turned her AP into a prostitute or that she is lying?

Ha! No, I don't think she turned her AP into a prostitute. I just think that is a pretty strong accusation and find it pretty far fetched.