Nanny here in a really bad place with my employer

[Anonymous]

My employer is giving me the silent treatment today and it is pissing me off. We are all sick with colds and I apparently did or said something to piss her off so now she is being a total b*tch.

I truly thought we had a better relationship than this. I am off for the next four days and don’t know if I should try to broach this over the holidays (they are Jewish and not celebrating so it wouldn’t interfere with their holiday plans.

WWYD?

[Anonymous]

In that situation, I would personally just focus on the kids. Don’t acknowledge her or talk to her. That’s ridiculous for her to be acting that way towards you.

[Anonymous]

Cut her some slack if she is sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cut her some slack if she is sick.

They are ALL sick, per OP. That does not excuse this really poor behavior.

You see her true colors now, OP. Make a note of it and adjust accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cut her some slack if she is sick.

They are ALL sick, per OP. That does not excuse this really poor behavior.

You see her true colors now, OP. Make a note of it and adjust accordingly.

S
+1. She is your boss, your employer. I agree you now see her for who she truly. If you love your charge and earn a good pay with benefits - let it slide. As PP said, focus on the child and never, ever, think that this woman is your friend.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I asked her about it and she said we will discuss it on next Thursday afternoon after a my five day holiday. I asked her if we could discuss it on the phone before that and she said, “No. I just want to enjoy my family”. Remember she and her family don’t celebrate Christmas so it’s just five days off for them.

Okay. Somehow the clarification of where I fall on her scale of who is important to her is pretty clear. Oddly, that makes me feel better. I am just an employee - nothing more. Who cares if your boss is pissed?! Seriously the second she said that, I felt a wave of relief. This is just a boss being pissed - not a friend.

I do love my charge and make great money with full medical and a car. I can handle (and fix) a boss being pissed. I don’t even have to know why!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I asked her about it and she said we will discuss it on next Thursday afternoon after a my five day holiday. I asked her if we could discuss it on the phone before that and she said, “No. I just want to enjoy my family”. Remember she and her family don’t celebrate Christmas so it’s just five days off for them.

Okay. Somehow the clarification of where I fall on her scale of who is important to her is pretty clear. Oddly, that makes me feel better. I am just an employee - nothing more. Who cares if your boss is pissed?! Seriously the second she said that, I felt a wave of relief. This is just a boss being pissed - not a friend.

I do love my charge and make great money with full medical and a car. I can handle (and fix) a boss being pissed. I don’t even have to know why!!

Yes, you are an employee. What are you expected to be treated as? You are not her best friend, sibling, etc. You work for her. Just because she doesn't celebrate Christmas, doesn't mean that she doesn't want to spend it as family time. You are being really selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I asked her about it and she said we will discuss it on next Thursday afternoon after a my five day holiday. I asked her if we could discuss it on the phone before that and she said, “No. I just want to enjoy my family”. Remember she and her family don’t celebrate Christmas so it’s just five days off for them.

Okay. Somehow the clarification of where I fall on her scale of who is important to her is pretty clear. Oddly, that makes me feel better. I am just an employee - nothing more. Who cares if your boss is pissed?! Seriously the second she said that, I felt a wave of relief. This is just a boss being pissed - not a friend.

I do love my charge and make great money with full medical and a car. I can handle (and fix) a boss being pissed. I don’t even have to know why!!

Yes, you are an employee. What are you expected to be treated as? You are not her best friend, sibling, etc. You work for her. Just because she doesn't celebrate Christmas, doesn't mean that she doesn't want to spend it as family time. You are being really selfish.

I disagree. You don’t let an employee hang for five days. I am sure she has 20 minutes to spare in five days off work to talk to her employee who cares daily for her child. OP’s employer is being selfish.

[Anonymous]

You did something that pissed her off, she is trying not to lose it and say something she regrets and she doesn’t want to spoil her vacation by dealing with it during her time off, especially since they will likely already be sick or recovering during the break. The fact that they don’t celebrate christmas means nothing! Family time is rare for working families! Have some empathy!

[Anonymous]

OP here. I think you misunderstand me. I do understand my place now and it’s a relief. We aren’t friends - I understand that now and will no longer act like friends.

I am fine. I do celebrate Christmas and will happily.

Thanks, everyone!

[Anonymous]

OP here. By the way, I am sick too. MB insisted on this trip even though my charge was ill and she gave it to all of us.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately, your employer sucks. She doesn’t understand what it means to be an employer or professional. A good employer handles issues when they arise. They do not let them fester.

As an employee you should never expect to be friends with your boss. You need to view her as your boss and nothing else. That’s how you remain professional.

Based on the information provided I would start looking and applying for another position just in case. Giving the silent treatment like a child and waiting to discuss an issue is a red flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I asked her about it and she said we will discuss it on next Thursday afternoon after a my five day holiday. I asked her if we could discuss it on the phone before that and she said, “No. I just want to enjoy my family”. Remember she and her family don’t celebrate Christmas so it’s just five days off for them.

Okay. Somehow the clarification of where I fall on her scale of who is important to her is pretty clear. Oddly, that makes me feel better. I am just an employee - nothing more. Who cares if your boss is pissed?! Seriously the second she said that, I felt a wave of relief. This is just a boss being pissed - not a friend.

I do love my charge and make great money with full medical and a car. I can handle (and fix) a boss being pissed. I don’t even have to know why!!

Yes, you are an employee. What are you expected to be treated as? You are not her best friend, sibling, etc. You work for her. Just because she doesn't celebrate Christmas, doesn't mean that she doesn't want to spend it as family time. You are being really selfish.

No. OP's MB is acting like a spoiled brat and is ruining OP's time off as now she has to wonder/worry if she is going to get fired. There is no excuse for an employer to act like this. OP, I suspect you are getting the heave ho and I would start looking for new job immediately. In the meantime, enjoy your time away from this witch and Merry Christmas. Come back and let us know what happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You did something that pissed her off, she is trying not to lose it and say something she regrets and she doesn’t want to spoil her vacation by dealing with it during her time off, especially since they will likely already be sick or recovering during the break. The fact that they don’t celebrate christmas means nothing! Family time is rare for working families! Have some empathy!

It would serve her right if they vomit and have diarrhea for four days and are fine by the time OP gets back. Cleaning up after sick kids is definitely "family time."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, your employer sucks. She doesn’t understand what it means to be an employer or professional. A good employer handles issues when they arise. They do not let them fester.

As an employee you should never expect to be friends with your boss. You need to view her as your boss and nothing else. That’s how you remain professional.

Based on the information provided I would start looking and applying for another position just in case. Giving the silent treatment like a child and waiting to discuss an issue is a red flag.

Yes, I have to agree with this. Your employer is not professional and very immature.

January is a good time to find another job. But it may not come to that, OP. I would just enjoy the time off and not contact her at all.