Nanny here in a really bad place with my employer

[Anonymous]

I have had many families tell me directly that I am “like” family to them.
However I am never invited to Thanksgiving dinners, Christmas get-togethers or even baby Christening events to name a few.

So it is personally insulting when a family tells me this.
Would they come bail me out of jail at 3AM if need be??

There’s my answer for ya.
Ha!!

Anyway, your employer is treating you unfairly by not telling you what is bothering her now.
I find it cruel + inconsiderate to make you wait in limbo for five days.

She is being selfish in doing this & is on a huge power trip.

I wouldn’t wait.....
I would just issue her my walking papers NOW and look for a family that treats you like the actual human being that you are.

You deserve respect.
No exceptions!!

~ Merry Christmas ~
Try not to let this ruin your holiday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I asked her about it and she said we will discuss it on next Thursday afternoon after a my five day holiday. I asked her if we could discuss it on the phone before that and she said, “No. I just want to enjoy my family”. Remember she and her family don’t celebrate Christmas so it’s just five days off for them.

Okay. Somehow the clarification of where I fall on her scale of who is important to her is pretty clear. Oddly, that makes me feel better. I am just an employee - nothing more. Who cares if your boss is pissed?! Seriously the second she said that, I felt a wave of relief. This is just a boss being pissed - not a friend.

I do love my charge and make great money with full medical and a car. I can handle (and fix) a boss being pissed. I don’t even have to know why!!

Yes, you are an employee. What are you expected to be treated as? You are not her best friend, sibling, etc. You work for her. Just because she doesn't celebrate Christmas, doesn't mean that she doesn't want to spend it as family time. You are being really selfish.

Only a very bad boss would ever leave an employee hanging for five days!!! You are dead wrong, PP - OP’s employer is being stunningly childish and unprofessional.

- an MB

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I asked her about it and she said we will discuss it on next Thursday afternoon after a my five day holiday. I asked her if we could discuss it on the phone before that and she said, “No. I just want to enjoy my family”. Remember she and her family don’t celebrate Christmas so it’s just five days off for them.

Okay. Somehow the clarification of where I fall on her scale of who is important to her is pretty clear. Oddly, that makes me feel better. I am just an employee - nothing more. Who cares if your boss is pissed?! Seriously the second she said that, I felt a wave of relief. This is just a boss being pissed - not a friend.

I do love my charge and make great money with full medical and a car. I can handle (and fix) a boss being pissed. I don’t even have to know why!!

Yes, you are an employee. What are you expected to be treated as? You are not her best friend, sibling, etc. You work for her. Just because she doesn't celebrate Christmas, doesn't mean that she doesn't want to spend it as family time. You are being really selfish.

Selfish?! OP is NOT being selfish - her horrid MB is! No boss makes an employee wait five days - and over Christmas! - to find out why her boss is giving her the silent treatment!

What is wrong with you, PP?

[Anonymous]

Don’t let your boss ruin your Christmas, OP. Or your vacation. What a childish woman!

[Anonymous]

Your employer is pretty despicable to do this to you over your Christmas and your vacation time. How awful to have to think about leaving your charge forever over the holidays. I would be heartbroken.

I am sorry, OP. Some people are simply heartless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your employer is pretty despicable to do this to you over your Christmas and your vacation time. How awful to have to think about leaving your charge forever over the holidays. I would be heartbroken.

I am sorry, OP. Some people are simply heartless.

OP here. Truthfully the only thing that has me in tears is never seeing my amazing charge again if I am fired on Thursday. I have been with her for over three years, since four days after she was born. That is the only thought has me in tears and will ruin Christmas for me.

Thank you to all responders. I really don’t want to get into all this with friends this week so you have been my only outlet.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are getting way ahead of yourself. Maybe the reason she doesn't want to talk now is that she's sick, and knows she will be irrational. Or, maybe it has nothing to do with you. Maybe she lost her job, or lost a baby, and, yes, has to tell you something unpleasant, but it isn't your fault. Or maybe she is mad at you, but also knows it's unreasonable, and wants to have a decent conversation next week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your employer is pretty despicable to do this to you over your Christmas and your vacation time. How awful to have to think about leaving your charge forever over the holidays. I would be heartbroken.

I am sorry, OP. Some people are simply heartless.

OP here. Truthfully the only thing that has me in tears is never seeing my amazing charge again if I am fired on Thursday. I have been with her for over three years, since four days after she was born. That is the only thought has me in tears and will ruin Christmas for me.

Thank you to all responders. I really don’t want to get into all this with friends this week so you have been my only outlet.

Agree with pp. Don’t get ahead of yourself. No one has said anything about firing you. She is wrapped up in her own issues and it is spilling over to her interactions with you. Let her have her time with family and don’t initiate any more communication until you get back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have had many families tell me directly that I am “like” family to them.
However I am never invited to Thanksgiving dinners, Christmas get-togethers or even baby Christening events to name a few.

So it is personally insulting when a family tells me this.
Would they come bail me out of jail at 3AM if need be??

There’s my answer for ya.
Ha!!

Anyway, your employer is treating you unfairly by not telling you what is bothering her now.
I find it cruel + inconsiderate to make you wait in limbo for five days.

She is being selfish in doing this & is on a huge power trip.

I wouldn’t wait.....
I would just issue her my walking papers NOW and look for a family that treats you like the actual human being that you are.

You deserve respect.
No exceptions!!

~ Merry Christmas ~
Try not to let this ruin your holiday.

There is no reason for OP to act hastily and quit a job that has many positives. Terrible advice.

[Anonymous]

Five days off? Wow, I only get one day plus the weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your employer is pretty despicable to do this to you over your Christmas and your vacation time. How awful to have to think about leaving your charge forever over the holidays. I would be heartbroken.

I am sorry, OP. Some people are simply heartless.

OP here. Truthfully the only thing that has me in tears is never seeing my amazing charge again if I am fired on Thursday. I have been with her for over three years, since four days after she was born. That is the only thought has me in tears and will ruin Christmas for me.

Thank you to all responders. I really don’t want to get into all this with friends this week so you have been my only outlet.

Agree with pp. Don’t get ahead of yourself. No one has said anything about firing you. She is wrapped up in her own issues and it is spilling over to her interactions with you. Let her have her time with family and don’t initiate any more communication until you get back.

Good advice here, OP.

[Anonymous]

Have a merry Christmas, OP.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I feel pretty miserable. I really am trying not to imagine the worst (having to leave my charge who I have been with since her birth three years ago) but I am failing. This is just a really bad Christmas for me. My employer didn’t even text me to wish me a merry Christmas. I think I am getting fired. I am not at all worried about money or finding another job - I am just heartbroken about my charge. And I still have no clue what I did wrong.

Thanks for giving me an outlet! Merry Christmas to all and thanks for listening and the support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I feel pretty miserable. I really am trying not to imagine the worst (having to leave my charge who I have been with since her birth three years ago) but I am failing. This is just a really bad Christmas for me. My employer didn’t even text me to wish me a merry Christmas. I think I am getting fired. I am not at all worried about money or finding another job - I am just heartbroken about my charge. And I still have no clue what I did wrong.

Thanks for giving me an outlet! Merry Christmas to all and thanks for listening and the support.

Sorry this is ruining your holiday, OP. I find it hard to believe she would fire you for something insignificant so it must be something else, like finances. Wishing you peace and love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I feel pretty miserable. I really am trying not to imagine the worst (having to leave my charge who I have been with since her birth three years ago) but I am failing. This is just a really bad Christmas for me. My employer didn’t even text me to wish me a merry Christmas. I think I am getting fired. I am not at all worried about money or finding another job - I am just heartbroken about my charge. And I still have no clue what I did wrong.

Thanks for giving me an outlet! Merry Christmas to all and thanks for listening and the support.

Sorry this is ruining your holiday, OP. I find it hard to believe she would fire you for something insignificant so it must be something else, like finances. Wishing you peace and love.

Thank you, PP. OP again and I have no idea why my employer is angry with me so I don’t know if it is insignificant or significant! It isn’t money - they are quite wealthy on their own and the father has a significant trust fund from his parents.

Thank you again!