The flexible (yet not so flexible) nanny

[Anonymous]

Our husband and I hired our nanny about a year ago. Her guaranteed hours are 7:30-5:30 everyday. We told her front up that there would be times where we would need her to stay until 6:30/7. She said she was fine with that. In the beginning, anytime we asked her to stay late she was ok with it and said yes even if it was last minute. Recently, she seems annoyed when I’ve asked her to stay late. But it’s not all the time. Sometimes she’ll say “of course don’t worry” etc and other times she’ll be like “I can’t. I am busy too.” Whether it’s through text or in person, I can feel she’s annoyed lf staying late. With my work and my husbands sometimes it’s inevitable for us to come home early. Has this happened to anyone else? We told her that we needed her to have availability between 7:30 and 7 so now that she is getting annoyed I don’t see what the problem is. We pay her overtime after 40 hours so I don’t see what’s the issue

[Anonymous]

She agreed this was fine to her, yet you say at times she seems annoyed.

There could be a miscommunication issue here....

Did you tell her you or your husband would be coming home on rare occasions & lately it has been more and more??

Regardless, if you ask your Nanny to reserve hours for you, then common sense certainly dictates she be financially compensated for reserving that particular time block for your family.

[Anonymous]

you don't see what the issue is but you're having the same problem she is-you have something to do so can't go home or otherwise do as you please. she works a long day already-can you or your husband go in earlier or otherwise stagger your hours? if she has anything personal to attend to like banking or the post office, those hours don't leave her any time to do so. nannies don't get lunch breaks so she can't just run out at that time. 7:30 is an early start, and if she's not getting home til almost eight o'clock she doesn't have time for much other than sleeping before she has to come to work again. you should come home on time or find someone who is available to sit for you in the evenings (say, 4-7). unless there is a real emergency you should be home on time. i've worked for people with extremely demanding work schedules and i've never agreed to stay til whenever they decide to come home. it's torture when you get through a long day, 5pm rolls around and a parent texts "hey, running late-hope that's okay"-what if it isn't? you know the nanny isn't going to abandon your kids so what are her options here? be considerate of other people and give your nanny her hours in advance, or you'll be looking for a new nanny very soon.

[Anonymous]

ditto to the second poster-if you want her to be available til 7pm then sit down and offer to pay her til 7 every day, if she will agree to stay available during those hours. the salary bump may be worth it to her. you need to ask, though.

[Anonymous]

Everyone on earth gets annoyed from time to time when asked to work late on certain days. Sometimes I am tired or made plans, and I get stunningly annoyed when a project is suddenly put on my desk! Your nanny is an actual human with a life away from her job.

But if this is a regular occurrence you need to guarantee her hours to the latest time you may need her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you don't see what the issue is but you're having the same problem she is-you have something to do so can't go home or otherwise do as you please. she works a long day already-can you or your husband go in earlier or otherwise stagger your hours? if she has anything personal to attend to like banking or the post office, those hours don't leave her any time to do so. nannies don't get lunch breaks so she can't just run out at that time. 7:30 is an early start, and if she's not getting home til almost eight o'clock she doesn't have time for much other than sleeping before she has to come to work again. you should come home on time or find someone who is available to sit for you in the evenings (say, 4-7). unless there is a real emergency you should be home on time. i've worked for people with extremely demanding work schedules and i've never agreed to stay til whenever they decide to come home. it's torture when you get through a long day, 5pm rolls around and a parent texts "hey, running late-hope that's okay"-what if it isn't? you know the nanny isn't going to abandon your kids so what are her options here? be considerate of other people and give your nanny her hours in advance, or you'll be looking for a new nanny very soon.

I'm not OP but I don't know my hours in advance or I would. It sucks for the nanny that my unpredictable schedule becomes her unpredictable schedule, but it's not something I can fix.

[Anonymous]

I am not opposed to working late on occasion, and I don’t mind a few minutes here and there, but don’t ask me to work a 12-14 hour day the day of or the day before and expect me to be happy about it. Not only do I have my own life, family, and plans, I need downtime in order to be the best nanny I can be. I know some nannies can do 12+ hour (I do 10) days but it is hard on me physically and mentally. Also remember that nannies still have to commute on top of the long day.

[Anonymous]

I’m op. I think we will consider a part time nanny. This might mean cutting down her 10 hour days to maybe 7-4. I don’t really find it effective to be paying for availability when we don’t always need it. If we hire another nanny at least we know she won’t get mad for having to stay late. We usually stay late 1-2 days per week and most of the time it is last minute. We cannot just go home because our nanny cannot stay late. I understand everyone has a life so it might be better to have someone else in the evenings

[Anonymous]

She is already working a ten-hour day. How often are you asking her to stay late and how many times at the last minute,? I bet you are taking advantage of her. Keep it up and you'll be looking for a new nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is already working a ten-hour day. How often are you asking her to stay late and how many times at the last minute,? I bet you are taking advantage of her. Keep it up and you'll be looking for a new nanny.

Max is twice a week. We are not taking advantage of her. We were very clear from the beginning that our jobs sometimes had last minute situations that would arise. She was very much aware that there would be days between 7:30-7. She has been a nanny for 7 years so she very well knows she could’ve requested to be compensated for keeping an open schedule. She never complained or once said no up until a month ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Max is twice a week. We are not taking advantage of her. We were very clear from the beginning that our jobs sometimes had last minute situations that would arise. She was very much aware that there would be days between 7:30-7. She has been a nanny for 7 years so she very well knows she could’ve requested to be compensated for keeping an open schedule. She never complained or once said no up until a month ago.

She’s probably just getting burnt out, op. She works a very long day with children, plus she’s staying late a couple times a week. I don’t know about you, but kids are exhausting to me! Personally, at the end of the day, I’m just so ready to go relax in my quiet, child-free house that I would feel cranky if someone asked me to stay, too. I understand she agreed, but she’s still entitled to feel how she feels.

Also, I know this is a bit tricky, but even though she was amenable to sometimes staying late, unless you can guarantee her set days where she will be required to stay late, it’s a little unfair for her to have to drop everything and stay unexpectedly. Since you say you cannot know when you’ll be working late, I also think you should hire evening help. I know you mentioned maybe 7-4 (which is a great schedule!) but even 7-3 would be good, and that way she would get her 40 hours, and there would still be enough hours left in the day to make it worthwhile to potential, part-time nannies.

Are you now planning on just paying someone new to come in 4-7 every day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Max is twice a week. We are not taking advantage of her. We were very clear from the beginning that our jobs sometimes had last minute situations that would arise. She was very much aware that there would be days between 7:30-7. She has been a nanny for 7 years so she very well knows she could’ve requested to be compensated for keeping an open schedule. She never complained or once said no up until a month ago.

She’s probably just getting burnt out, op. She works a very long day with children, plus she’s staying late a couple times a week. I don’t know about you, but kids are exhausting to me! Personally, at the end of the day, I’m just so ready to go relax in my quiet, child-free house that I would feel cranky if someone asked me to stay, too. I understand she agreed, but she’s still entitled to feel how she feels.

Also, I know this is a bit tricky, but even though she was amenable to sometimes staying late, unless you can guarantee her set days where she will be required to stay late, it’s a little unfair for her to have to drop everything and stay unexpectedly. Since you say you cannot know when you’ll be working late, I also think you should hire evening help. I know you mentioned maybe 7-4 (which is a great schedule!) but even 7-3 would be good, and that way she would get her 40 hours, and there would still be enough hours left in the day to make it worthwhile to potential, part-time nannies.

Are you now planning on just paying someone new to come in 4-7 every day?

Hi, op here. Thank you for your comment. I never thought that she could just be burning out! My husband agreed that we should hire a part time nanny. Hopefully, she is willing to accept a 7-3, 7-4. We would then probably want the evening nanny from 3-7 or 4-8

[Anonymous]

It seems to me your nanny may be either burnt out or is struggling with the fact that her guaranteed hours are until 5:30 but you routinely need to use her up until 7:30 with little notice. Maybe if you offered to guarantee those hours she would be happy. Finding a good and long-lasting PT nanny for those hours will be difficult unless you pay top dollar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi, op here. Thank you for your comment. I never thought that she could just be burning out! My husband agreed that we should hire a part time nanny. Hopefully, she is willing to accept a 7-3, 7-4. We would then probably want the evening nanny from 3-7 or 4-8

Sounds like a plan! I hope she agrees, as well. Good luck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m op. I think we will consider a part time nanny. This might mean cutting down her 10 hour days to maybe 7-4. I don’t really find it effective to be paying for availability when we don’t always need it. If we hire another nanny at least we know she won’t get mad for having to stay late. We usually stay late 1-2 days per week and most of the time it is last minute. We cannot just go home because our nanny cannot stay late. I understand everyone has a life so it might be better to have someone else in the evenings

You will probably lose the nanny you have but two new nannies would be the best idea. One or two days a week and last minute? That is a lot, OP. Get two nannies.