The flexible (yet not so flexible) nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m op. I think we will consider a part time nanny. This might mean cutting down her 10 hour days to maybe 7-4. I don’t really find it effective to be paying for availability when we don’t always need it. If we hire another nanny at least we know she won’t get mad for having to stay late. We usually stay late 1-2 days per week and most of the time it is last minute. We cannot just go home because our nanny cannot stay late. I understand everyone has a life so it might be better to have someone else in the evenings

You are going to have to pay a part time nanny guaranteed for those extra hours anyway. And the part time, after-school nanny is the hardest to find and keep.

But if you cannot guarantee your full time nanny until seven (but you are going to guarantee a part time nanny until 7?) that is all you can do. Your nanny is not wrong to get frustrated and tired of never knowing if she is going to be home for dinner or not.

And millions of women rush home ONLY because their nanny cannot stay late!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m op. I think we will consider a part time nanny. This might mean cutting down her 10 hour days to maybe 7-4. I don’t really find it effective to be paying for availability when we don’t always need it. If we hire another nanny at least we know she won’t get mad for having to stay late. We usually stay late 1-2 days per week and most of the time it is last minute. We cannot just go home because our nanny cannot stay late. I understand everyone has a life so it might be better to have someone else in the evenings

You are going to have to pay a part time nanny guaranteed for those extra hours anyway. And the part time, after-school nanny is the hardest to find and keep.

But if you cannot guarantee your full time nanny until seven (but you are going to guarantee a part time nanny until 7?) that is all you can do. Your nanny is not wrong to get frustrated and tired of never knowing if she is going to be home for dinner or not.

And millions of women rush home ONLY because their nanny cannot stay late!

We will guarantee hours for the part time nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m op. I think we will consider a part time nanny. This might mean cutting down her 10 hour days to maybe 7-4. I don’t really find it effective to be paying for availability when we don’t always need it. If we hire another nanny at least we know she won’t get mad for having to stay late. We usually stay late 1-2 days per week and most of the time it is last minute. We cannot just go home because our nanny cannot stay late. I understand everyone has a life so it might be better to have someone else in the evenings

And you think it is going to be any different with a part-time nanny? You are going to have to guarantee 4 to 7 anyway. And all of us rush home to relieve the nanny, OP - that is just the nature of having an employee. One or two nights every single week of having to work late - and at the last minute - is always going to be a problem.

Good luck. I personally think you need 12 hours of coverage. You should ask your current nanny if she is even interested in that before you have to hire someone else. And after school nannies are the hardest to find and keep.

[Anonymous]

To all of those saying an afternoon nanny is hard to find or keep—not true. You just have to find the right fit. My kids are 16 and 18 and I had a nanny up until my youngest was 15. We always made sure we found the right fit. Our last nanny was with us for 1.5 years and worked for us from 2:45-6:45. She went to school on the mornings and worked evenings. You need to find someone that doesn’t need to work full time OR has another part time job or jobs. Mostly all our part time after school nannies had morning jobs. We did always keep a list of long sitters which came in handy for early dismissals etc

[Anonymous]

You ask her to be flexible until 7pm but she's not paid until that time so there's no way she HAS to be available for you any time you ask.

I'd pay her these extra hours every day if she agrees.
Use that extra time for work when you have to and to relax when you don't. Everybody will be happy.

She has a life, you have to respect that, she can't be at your beck and call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m op. I think we will consider a part time nanny. This might mean cutting down her 10 hour days to maybe 7-4. I don’t really find it effective to be paying for availability when we don’t always need it. If we hire another nanny at least we know she won’t get mad for having to stay late. We usually stay late 1-2 days per week and most of the time it is last minute. We cannot just go home because our nanny cannot stay late. I understand everyone has a life so it might be better to have someone else in the evenings

You are going to have to pay a part time nanny guaranteed for those extra hours anyway. And the part time, after-school nanny is the hardest to find and keep.

But if you cannot guarantee your full time nanny until seven (but you are going to guarantee a part time nanny until 7?) that is all you can do. Your nanny is not wrong to get frustrated and tired of never knowing if she is going to be home for dinner or not.

And millions of women rush home ONLY because their nanny cannot stay late!

We will guarantee hours for the part time nanny.

I’m not the quoted pp, I’m just confused. What is the difference between giving your current nanny guaranteed hours every day until 7, and giving an new nanny the same? You are paying for those hours, regardless. If your current nanny would be interested, you should just stick with her for the whole day. She may not be, but you should ask. It would only make things simpler for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m op. I think we will consider a part time nanny. This might mean cutting down her 10 hour days to maybe 7-4. I don’t really find it effective to be paying for availability when we don’t always need it. If we hire another nanny at least we know she won’t get mad for having to stay late. We usually stay late 1-2 days per week and most of the time it is last minute. We cannot just go home because our nanny cannot stay late. I understand everyone has a life so it might be better to have someone else in the evenings

You are going to have to pay a part time nanny guaranteed for those extra hours anyway. And the part time, after-school nanny is the hardest to find and keep.

But if you cannot guarantee your full time nanny until seven (but you are going to guarantee a part time nanny until 7?) that is all you can do. Your nanny is not wrong to get frustrated and tired of never knowing if she is going to be home for dinner or not.

And millions of women rush home ONLY because their nanny cannot stay late!

We will guarantee hours for the part time nanny.

Why are you when willing to guarantee hours up to seven for your current nanny? If you need her to stay late two times a week, that’s a pretty regular occurrence and not every now and then. I think guaranteeing your current nanny till seven would be the best bet. Finding a stable and reliable afternoon nanny will be very difficult

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You ask her to be flexible until 7pm but she's not paid until that time so there's no way she HAS to be available for you any time you ask.

I'd pay her these extra hours every day if she agrees.
Use that extra time for work when you have to and to relax when you don't. Everybody will be happy.

She has a life, you have to respect that, she can't be at your beck and call.

+1

[Anonymous]

Maybe you or your husband should choose your children over your job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you or your husband should choose your children over your job.

Maybe you shouldn’t be on this forum if you don’t understand that parents have to work to make money to pay bills to my kids can have food to eat and a warm home to sleep in at night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m op. I think we will consider a part time nanny. This might mean cutting down her 10 hour days to maybe 7-4. I don’t really find it effective to be paying for availability when we don’t always need it. If we hire another nanny at least we know she won’t get mad for having to stay late. We usually stay late 1-2 days per week and most of the time it is last minute. We cannot just go home because our nanny cannot stay late. I understand everyone has a life so it might be better to have someone else in the evenings

You are going to have to pay a part time nanny guaranteed for those extra hours anyway. And the part time, after-school nanny is the hardest to find and keep.

But if you cannot guarantee your full time nanny until seven (but you are going to guarantee a part time nanny until 7?) that is all you can do. Your nanny is not wrong to get frustrated and tired of never knowing if she is going to be home for dinner or not.

And millions of women rush home ONLY because their nanny cannot stay late!

We will guarantee hours for the part time nanny.

I’m not the quoted pp, I’m just confused. What is the difference between giving your current nanny guaranteed hours every day until 7, and giving an new nanny the same? You are paying for those hours, regardless. If your current nanny would be interested, you should just stick with her for the whole day. She may not be, but you should ask. It would only make things simpler for you.

I’m op. I really don’t want to have this issue with my nanny again where we are paying her until 7 and she’s not available. What if we pay her and she says she can’t stay? She already works 10 or more hours so I rather have someone who isn’t burnt out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m op. I think we will consider a part time nanny. This might mean cutting down her 10 hour days to maybe 7-4. I don’t really find it effective to be paying for availability when we don’t always need it. If we hire another nanny at least we know she won’t get mad for having to stay late. We usually stay late 1-2 days per week and most of the time it is last minute. We cannot just go home because our nanny cannot stay late. I understand everyone has a life so it might be better to have someone else in the evenings

You are going to have to pay a part time nanny guaranteed for those extra hours anyway. And the part time, after-school nanny is the hardest to find and keep.

But if you cannot guarantee your full time nanny until seven (but you are going to guarantee a part time nanny until 7?) that is all you can do. Your nanny is not wrong to get frustrated and tired of never knowing if she is going to be home for dinner or not.

And millions of women rush home ONLY because their nanny cannot stay late!

We will guarantee hours for the part time nanny.

I’m not the quoted pp, I’m just confused. What is the difference between giving your current nanny guaranteed hours every day until 7, and giving an new nanny the same? You are paying for those hours, regardless. If your current nanny would be interested, you should just stick with her for the whole day. She may not be, but you should ask. It would only make things simpler for you.

I’m op. I really don’t want to have this issue with my nanny again where we are paying her until 7 and she’s not available. What if we pay her and she says she can’t stay? She already works 10 or more hours so I rather have someone who isn’t burnt out.

MB here. It seems a lot less work for you and easier for the kids to guarantee hours for your current nanny until 7pm every day and see how it goes, before cutting her hours (and risking losing her) along with looking for a new, evening nanny (whom you will almost certainly have to pay at a much higher hourly rate). Why wouldn't you just guarantee hours for the existing nanny? 1-2 days a week is a lot and it's inconsiderate to spring the extra time on her last minute. You are requiring her to keep this time open every single day without paying her for it.

[Anonymous]

If you are going to pay the part time nanny until 7 whether you need her or not why not ask the full time nanny to do it every night with guaranteed hours until 7? If the full time nanny agrees, she is promising you to be available every night until 7 and paid for every night until 7. You are setting yourself up for a world of hurt when the part time nanny doesn’t show up and you have to rush home at 4.

And how will your kids react to nanny leaving and a babysitter - not Mom or Dad - coming?

But whatever. I think you just want to hurt your full time nanny by cutting her hours. I also think you came here thinking all us MBs would agree with you instead of telling you that you that your nanny has the right to be irritated.

As the happy employer of the same wonderful nanny for eight years, I think you are being unfair in your expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m op. I think we will consider a part time nanny. This might mean cutting down her 10 hour days to maybe 7-4. I don’t really find it effective to be paying for availability when we don’t always need it. If we hire another nanny at least we know she won’t get mad for having to stay late. We usually stay late 1-2 days per week and most of the time it is last minute. We cannot just go home because our nanny cannot stay late. I understand everyone has a life so it might be better to have someone else in the evenings

You are going to have to pay a part time nanny guaranteed for those extra hours anyway. And the part time, after-school nanny is the hardest to find and keep.

But if you cannot guarantee your full time nanny until seven (but you are going to guarantee a part time nanny until 7?) that is all you can do. Your nanny is not wrong to get frustrated and tired of never knowing if she is going to be home for dinner or not.

And millions of women rush home ONLY because their nanny cannot stay late!

We will guarantee hours for the part time nanny.

I’m not the quoted pp, I’m just confused. What is the difference between giving your current nanny guaranteed hours every day until 7, and giving an new nanny the same? You are paying for those hours, regardless. If your current nanny would be interested, you should just stick with her for the whole day. She may not be, but you should ask. It would only make things simpler for you.

I’m op. I really don’t want to have this issue with my nanny again where we are paying her until 7 and she’s not available. What if we pay her and she says she can’t stay? She already works 10 or more hours so I rather have someone who isn’t burnt out.

She's not available because you are not paying her to BE available. Once you pay her to be available up to 7, she will be free to plan for after that and not feel resentful (which I can assure you is part of the problem). Part of the reason she may be burnt out is because of the unpredictability of the late schedule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m op. I think we will consider a part time nanny. This might mean cutting down her 10 hour days to maybe 7-4. I don’t really find it effective to be paying for availability when we don’t always need it. If we hire another nanny at least we know she won’t get mad for having to stay late. We usually stay late 1-2 days per week and most of the time it is last minute. We cannot just go home because our nanny cannot stay late. I understand everyone has a life so it might be better to have someone else in the evenings

You are going to have to pay a part time nanny guaranteed for those extra hours anyway. And the part time, after-school nanny is the hardest to find and keep.

But if you cannot guarantee your full time nanny until seven (but you are going to guarantee a part time nanny until 7?) that is all you can do. Your nanny is not wrong to get frustrated and tired of never knowing if she is going to be home for dinner or not.

And millions of women rush home ONLY because their nanny cannot stay late!

We will guarantee hours for the part time nanny.

I’m not the quoted pp, I’m just confused. What is the difference between giving your current nanny guaranteed hours every day until 7, and giving an new nanny the same? You are paying for those hours, regardless. If your current nanny would be interested, you should just stick with her for the whole day. She may not be, but you should ask. It would only make things simpler for you.

I’m op. I really don’t want to have this issue with my nanny again where we are paying her until 7 and she’s not available. What if we pay her and she says she can’t stay? She already works 10 or more hours so I rather have someone who isn’t burnt out.

She's not available because you are not paying her to BE available. Once you pay her to be available up to 7, she will be free to plan for after that and not feel resentful (which I can assure you is part of the problem). Part of the reason she may be burnt out is because of the unpredictability of the late schedule.

I wanted to add that a PT nanny for those hours are hard to come by and the kind of person, HS student/ college student/ will not last long. Then you may have to rely on your nanny anyway or go though the stressful search process again.