racy photos of au pair on instagram

[Anonymous]

Our au pair's Instagram account is filled with racy/suggestive photos of her taken in her bedroom at our house and around DC and on other adventures in her au pair year with us (it's been 9 months). This makes me uncomfortable, and I read somewhere that exact geographic coordinates can be extracted from Instagram photos taken with a smartphone. Is this true? What would others do about this (if anything)? I don't use instagram but I was able to see all the photos without being "friends" with her or "following" her -- they seem to be 100% public. Also, there is one photo of my daughter on her acct, which is an innocent photo but I'm not happy in general about that.

[Anonymous]

Stop snooping on her.

[Anonymous]

You should have checked her social media accounts before matching...we always do. You can find people in other social Apps like snap chat or dating Apps..:check her phone for tinder or other ones like that - if she is using those she is most likely a pretty loose girl.

[Anonymous]

For safety reasons, my APs must turn off the location feature of all social media apps - I make this clear up front (you can do this via settings - find the app and put location for that app to "never"). I have the same rule for myself and my DD. It is recommended by law enforcement for everyone to do this. DD's school actually had an officer come in and do a presentation to kids and a separate one for parents.

Snapchat updated their app a year or two ago to include location sharing.. it didn't exist previously but after that update, you had to go in and turn off location sharing b/c otherwise it defaulted to share your location). In insta you are correct that if location is not disabled, a person can figure out where a picture was taken.

I don't mind if APs post occasional pix of DD but only if they are PRIVATE. I would not allow it if they are public.

Racy pix (esp if public) are a bit icky... for me that would be an issue b/d I have an 11 y.o. DD and would not want her seeing this as an example of how to behave (esp online). So for me it would be an issue. If i had smaller kids, I prob would care less (but would try to screen around it for the future).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should have checked her social media accounts before matching...we always do. You can find people in other social Apps like snap chat or dating Apps..:check her phone for tinder or other ones like that - if she is using those she is most likely a pretty loose girl.

You can’t be serious. Even elementary kids use Snapchat these days. Also, check her phone? Seriously? That’s really invasive. And I have cameras in my home, etc— so it’s hard to offend me. But checking an AP’s phone is over the line.

OP, it’s been 9 months. You aren’t complaining about anything else. With 3 months to go, I would just let this pass. It’s not super safe and it’s kind of gross, but with so little time left, I would just let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our au pair's Instagram account is filled with racy/suggestive photos of her taken in her bedroom at our house and around DC and on other adventures in her au pair year with us (it's been 9 months). This makes me uncomfortable, and I read somewhere that exact geographic coordinates can be extracted from Instagram photos taken with a smartphone. Is this true? What would others do about this (if anything)? I don't use instagram but I was able to see all the photos without being "friends" with her or "following" her -- they seem to be 100% public. Also, there is one photo of my daughter on her acct, which is an innocent photo but I'm not happy in general about that.

You e had this AP for 9 mos. Don't have Instagram, but decided to stalk her racy photos on a whim. You are a weirdo and I bet jealous as well.

[Anonymous]

Former AP here.

She can do what she pleases with her own pictures, even if you don't like it. She's young and if she wants to show how cute she is etc, that's none of your business.

However there's no way she should put a pic of your daughter there and I'd ask her to remove it. And advise her to keep her instagram private for more safety.

[Anonymous]

OP here — yes it’s been 9 months. She has had a stalker in the past during her time with us (we needed to change her tel number for her). So Im viewing this through that lens. Also, in addition to asking her to take down the pic our daughter (which she did), I’ve a also asked her to take down the pic where our license plate number can be clearly read. I’m not happy about about any this. In the future though I agree I its good to screen public accounts, but in her case the photos became racier as the year progressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here — yes it’s been 9 months. She has had a stalker in the past during her time with us (we needed to change her tel number for her). So Im viewing this through that lens. Also, in addition to asking her to take down the pic our daughter (which she did), I’ve a also asked her to take down the pic where our license plate number can be clearly read. I’m not happy about about any this. In the future though I agree I its good to screen public accounts, but in her case the photos became racier as the year progressed.

Dear lord, you really have been obsessing about her body. All year, no Instagram accoun, but you have charted out the progress.

Sure you are not the stalker?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here — yes it’s been 9 months. She has had a stalker in the past during her time with us (we needed to change her tel number for her). So Im viewing this through that lens. Also, in addition to asking her to take down the pic our daughter (which she did), I’ve a also asked her to take down the pic where our license plate number can be clearly read. I’m not happy about about any this. In the future though I agree I its good to screen public accounts, but in her case the photos became racier as the year progressed.

Dear lord, you really have been obsessing about her body. All year, no Instagram accoun, but you have charted out the progress.

Sure you are not the stalker?

It's easy to look through the history and figure how something progressed...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Former AP here.

She can do what she pleases with her own pictures, even if you don't like it. She's young and if she wants to show how cute she is etc, that's none of your business.

However there's no way she should put a pic of your daughter there and I'd ask her to remove it. And advise her to keep her instagram private for more safety.

I'm the PP with a preteen DD who would have a problem with an AP posting racy pix on her public instagram (or even her private instagram if DD knew about it or followed it - and DD does have that kind of connected relationship with her APs now that she and her friends all use instragram). Sure, an AP can do what she pleases with her own pictures, but if it sends a terrible message to my DD, it is my business, and I can do what I please with her (ask her to stop/remove them and rematch if she doesn't). (as an aside: all employers, not just HF, are going to Google you and may be put off by this kind of online, public presence - so even apart from safety issues, it's just dumb to present yourself that way, in a public account).

DD is at an impressionable age in terms of learning about how to present herself to others. I can even see some girls a year or two older than her starting with the bikini pix while pouting and looking off to the side pix (ew). We talk (DD and I) about what kind of image that presents. There is no way I want an AP (to whom my DD inevitably looks up each year) openly presenting herself that way if there is any chance DD will see it. It would be a big no-go for me. I have not matched with girls whose public online profiles fit into this category and I surely would not accept it as a new-found habit after I matched.

[Anonymous]

Stalker?
Sorry - I just do not have time for that drama. I would have rematched after that.
The fact she is continuing to put herself out there is a liability to you and your family. I would not hesitate one second and definitely rematch.

An au pair is supposed to make your life better, not more dangerous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here — yes it’s been 9 months. She has had a stalker in the past during her time with us (we needed to change her tel number for her). So Im viewing this through that lens. Also, in addition to asking her to take down the pic our daughter (which she did), I’ve a also asked her to take down the pic where our license plate number can be clearly read. I’m not happy about about any this. In the future though I agree I its good to screen public accounts, but in her case the photos became racier as the year progressed.

Dear lord, you really have been obsessing about her body. All year, no Instagram accoun, but you have charted out the progress.

Sure you are not the stalker?

Hello AP troll!

In all seriousness, we have an item in our handbook that says no posting pics of the host kids on any online site or social media. Our AP has been respectful of this and asked questions to clarify that it's ok to send a few pics to her family by text or have our kids say hi during video chats with her parents. If she had decided to extend with another family, we would have said ok to using a few pics for her profile too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here — yes it’s been 9 months. She has had a stalker in the past during her time with us (we needed to change her tel number for her). So Im viewing this through that lens. Also, in addition to asking her to take down the pic our daughter (which she did), I’ve a also asked her to take down the pic where our license plate number can be clearly read. I’m not happy about about any this. In the future though I agree I its good to screen public accounts, but in her case the photos became racier as the year progressed.

Sorry - your OP is an idiot. Send her home now before it gets worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here — yes it’s been 9 months. She has had a stalker in the past during her time with us (we needed to change her tel number for her). So Im viewing this through that lens. Also, in addition to asking her to take down the pic our daughter (which she did), I’ve a also asked her to take down the pic where our license plate number can be clearly read. I’m not happy about about any this. In the future though I agree I its good to screen public accounts, but in her case the photos became racier as the year progressed.

Sorry - your OP is an idiot. Send her home now before it gets worse.

I don’t think this is rematch worthy. It sounds like she has some bad internet hygiene and drama. But if there are no current problems, let it go. Or, tell her you looked at her insta and want her to delete the pics of your kids and license plates and then let it go. I would chalk this up as a lesson for next time.