Confused About Live-In Nanny Law

[Anonymous]

Hi all,

I am trying to understand what the law is regarding live-in nannies in Maryland. I mean truly live-in where they receive mail at the house, it's their home address, they live here seven days a week.

For me, the whole purpose of a live-in nanny would be to have flexibility and help throughout the day including Saturday. I guess my ideal would be that the nanny is generally available from 8 am to 8 pm Monday through Saturday, with Sundays off. I would be willing to pay basically any amount for this. It's not about the money for me, it's about having that constant comfort of help at hand. I am pregnant and have a 3 year old who goes to preschool every morning. As is common in our culture, my parents live with me and do a lot of childcare and housework themselves, so it's not all on the nanny. She would be an additional helper in the family.

Is there a legal way to do this? Say for example I set a weekly rate of $800 (I would pay more if needed, this is just an example). This would cover the minimum wage and overtime requirements, but obviously most nannies don't want to work for minimum wage. Do most live-in nannies truly just work set hours, like 9-6, and then are off duty the rest of the time, as in they will not help with the kids or with dinner, they will watch tv alone in their room after 6 pm?

I don't see why anyone would have a live-in, in that case. What is the benefit?

Thanks for your help, everyone.

[Anonymous]

I'm not even going to touch the salary expectations...
But you asked what the benefit would be to a "live in" if the nanny works shorter hours and then does their own thing....

With a live in, you don't have to worry that in inclement weather, your nanny will not be able to drive to your home. She is already there.

[Anonymous]

That is a shit ton of hours for one person!!! Would you want to work 12 hrs a day 6 days a week and sleep at your job too??? you really need at least two people for this. One can work four 12 hr days and the other two. You'll be burning nannies out left and right if you expect one live in to work 6 days a week. When a nannies shift is over she's off the clock. She's not your mother or your sister. She's your employee. If she wants to help then it's a gift not an obligation and needs to be treated as such.

[Anonymous]

That is an idea...two nannies. I didn't think of that.

So when people do this, is it more normal to have the nanny work something like 9-5? Then the rest of the evening and night, she does not participate in any family activities, she doesn't help with dishes, or play with kids - she just sits by herself in her room? Or she sits in the kitchen, but lets the rest of us work and she watches tv?

I'm having trouble imagining how someone would integrate into the household like this.

Inclement weather isn't as much of a problem around here...is that the only reason folks would prefer to have a nanny live in?

[Anonymous]

OP again. My aunt was a live-in nanny for a family in her country of origin, and she lived with them for years and was basically available all the time. She wasn't worked to death, it was just more like she was a working member of the family and helped with whatever the family was working on.

She enjoyed it and made a lot of money...but cultural norms are different there. I guess I was envisioning something like that.

[Anonymous]

I am sure you could find someone! I imagine that most of your candidates would be older (raised their children and looking for a family environment). The main issue is that your schedule leaves no time six days a week to peruse outside interests (exercise, visiting with friends or family, joining a club, etc). You may attract more candidates if you are clear with yourself and in your ad if the hours are flexible. Would it be alright if twice a week, the nanny was gone for 3-4 hours to take a class or something?

[Anonymous]

What you want costs about $100,000/yr., plus benefits.

[Anonymous]

If you expect your live-in nanny to be available at all times, you pay her for all of those hours.

Yes, at some point, you, the parent, should take some responsibility for your child rather than expecting others to do it for you all day. Your nanny works certain hours, and at other times is free to do as she pleases, without you expecting her to work for free because you're too lazy to use protection and stop having children you can't/don't want to take care of.

[Anonymous]

OP, there are numerous benefits, both to the nanny and the employers. It sounds to me like you want availability for 72 hours per week, but don't actually intend to use all of those hours, and in that case, that might be of interest to the nanny.

According to my employers, there are numerous reasons for a live-in nanny. I'm already in the house if they are called in to work or one of the kids has an emergency. I am never late, and inclement weather doesn't matter. I know where everything is in the house, even after they spent the weekend reorganizing. Kids come find me during the middle of the night, allowing their parents to sleep. I know what needs to be done at any time, without someone leaving me a list. I'm flexible when parents are late, and I'm more convenient than finding someone else as a date night sitter (kids are already in bed, I'm already there, it's just a matter of paying me to not leave and do my own thing for the night). Overnights and weeks that parents travel are a breeze.

On my side, there are just as many benefits. I never worry about what situation I'm going to walk into at the start of the week, because I already know. Kids usually feel off the night before they get sick, and again, I know ahead of time. I'm never in danger of being late, and I never have to call in because my car won't start, the street is a sheet of glass, etc. I get tons of extra work for date nights and nights when kids come to me in the middle of the night. My employers never feel like they need to micromanage me.

However, you have several issues with your situation.

1. You are pregnant and home all day. That means that not only does the nanny have a SAHP to work with/around, you are also hormonal. While understandable, there are many nannies who wouldn't want any part of it.

2. Your child is in school mornings. So, unless your preschooler is off for the day, until you have your new baby, you are paying for hours without having the nanny do anything, unless she's doing your preschooler's laundry or cooking. However, she is available if you child becomes ill or school is closed, which is great.

3. Your parents live with you. Why in the world do you want to add a 5th adult to a household full-time?! This will be the sticking point for most nannies. Having grandparents around is tough; having them live there can be fine, but usually doesn't work well for the nanny.

4. Do you have a set-up that will allow your nanny any privacy? Minimum, she needs a private bedroom, preferably away from where the infant will be in a few months. No nanny wants to listen to an infant cry in the middle of the night when she's supposed to be sleeping so that she can work the next day. Most nannies will want an attached bathroom, or at least a bedroom and bathroom (possibly shared) in your basement.

5. Some nannies work up to 24/7 (I have). But you pay for the privilege of having someone at your beck and call (for those hours, with everything you listed, I agree with a PP that you are looking at 100k or more), and the benefits need to be spectacular. Those nannies need to have vacation when requested (up to the amount allotted for the year, and with at least a month of notice) and sick days (without arguing), or they burn out quickly. If you expect the nanny to "be a part of the family" and yet be working so many hours, you need to be understanding when she feels overwhelmed.

You can find what you need, if your house is set up correctly and your parents are willing to respect that there have to be boundaries. Otherwise, just advertise for one or two live-out mother's helpers with 12 hour shifts. If you split it 3 days and 3 days, you could escape overtime, and if you look for candidates willing to help on Sunday, you will have possible help 7 days per week once the baby is born (with some overtime, but not too much). Just be very, very clear about what you want and need.

[Anonymous]

The benefit of a live in nanny is that you can find quality care in the 10-13 per hour range. Where as live out is more like 17-22. You also don't have to worry about your nannies morning commute and getting stuck in traffic. She is already there during bad weather.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The benefit of a live in nanny is that you can find quality care in the 10-13 per hour range. Where as live out is more like 17-22. You also don't have to worry about your nannies morning commute and getting stuck in traffic. She is already there during bad weather.

Your numbers may be different, based on many factors, but essentially are correct.

[Anonymous]

In Maryland, live-in s are paid OT for all hours over 40. There is also probably a limit of hours that she can work. You are ridiculous to think a person can be on duty 24-6. You need two live in nannies with distinct hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are numerous benefits, both to the nanny and the employers. It sounds to me like you want availability for 72 hours per week, but don't actually intend to use all of those hours, and in that case, that might be of interest to the nanny.

According to my employers, there are numerous reasons for a live-in nanny. I'm already in the house if they are called in to work or one of the kids has an emergency. I am never late, and inclement weather doesn't matter. I know where everything is in the house, even after they spent the weekend reorganizing. Kids come find me during the middle of the night, allowing their parents to sleep. I know what needs to be done at any time, without someone leaving me a list. I'm flexible when parents are late, and I'm more convenient than finding someone else as a date night sitter (kids are already in bed, I'm already there, it's just a matter of paying me to not leave and do my own thing for the night). Overnights and weeks that parents travel are a breeze.

On my side, there are just as many benefits. I never worry about what situation I'm going to walk into at the start of the week, because I already know. Kids usually feel off the night before they get sick, and again, I know ahead of time. I'm never in danger of being late, and I never have to call in because my car won't start, the street is a sheet of glass, etc. I get tons of extra work for date nights and nights when kids come to me in the middle of the night. My employers never feel like they need to micromanage me.

However, you have several issues with your situation.

1. You are pregnant and home all day. That means that not only does the nanny have a SAHP to work with/around, you are also hormonal. While understandable, there are many nannies who wouldn't want any part of it.

2. Your child is in school mornings. So, unless your preschooler is off for the day, until you have your new baby, you are paying for hours without having the nanny do anything, unless she's doing your preschooler's laundry or cooking. However, she is available if you child becomes ill or school is closed, which is great.

3. Your parents live with you. Why in the world do you want to add a 5th adult to a household full-time?! This will be the sticking point for most nannies. Having grandparents around is tough; having them live there can be fine, but usually doesn't work well for the nanny.

4. Do you have a set-up that will allow your nanny any privacy? Minimum, she needs a private bedroom, preferably away from where the infant will be in a few months. No nanny wants to listen to an infant cry in the middle of the night when she's supposed to be sleeping so that she can work the next day. Most nannies will want an attached bathroom, or at least a bedroom and bathroom (possibly shared) in your basement.

5. Some nannies work up to 24/7 (I have). But you pay for the privilege of having someone at your beck and call (for those hours, with everything you listed, I agree with a PP that you are looking at 100k or more), and the benefits need to be spectacular. Those nannies need to have vacation when requested (up to the amount allotted for the year, and with at least a month of notice) and sick days (without arguing), or they burn out quickly. If you expect the nanny to "be a part of the family" and yet be working so many hours, you need to be understanding when she feels overwhelmed.

You can find what you need, if your house is set up correctly and your parents are willing to respect that there have to be boundaries. Otherwise, just advertise for one or two live-out mother's helpers with 12 hour shifts. If you split it 3 days and 3 days, you could escape overtime, and if you look for candidates willing to help on Sunday, you will have possible help 7 days per week once the baby is born (with some overtime, but not too much). Just be very, very clear about what you want and need.

I agree with most of what you say--except your suggestion to advertise for "mother's helpers." A mother's helper generally refers to a 10-12 (ish) neighbor girl the comes over a few hours a week to help a mom in exchange for pocket money. The "mother's helper" might read to a toddler so mom can cook dinner, help fold laundry or chop veggies for meal prep, play games with a pre-schooler, etc.
But you (mom) wouldn't actually leave the home with just the mother's helper minding the kids. And at most it would be maybe 2 or 3 hours, not 12 hours a day! A mother's helper is still in elementary school or middle school and also probably still has piano lessons and girl scouts and soccer to go to.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the replies, all!

" It sounds to me like you want availability for 72 hours per week, but don't actually intend to use all of those hours, and in that case, that might be of interest to the nanny."

Yes, this is it exactly. She would be free to run errands, meet friends etc - just work it out with grandma to make sure someone is there.

I talked to a couple of nannies at my son's preschool, and they said that this setup is actually very common in the more ethnic communities of Rockville, but that DCUM is more American ladies so it's a bit different Which makes sense! Those nannies both are paid $1000/week, which I could definitely do, and it's just a more casual, family-like setup which is what I was envisioning. They also both have grandparents living in the house - it's very common in our culture.

Nanny would have a private bedroom and bath, of course! And I'm happy to pay her while toddler is in school, she can use that time to rest.

Well, we will see what is best. Maybe it's better to just have a live-out nanny with set hours, unless the right person comes along who is interested.

[Anonymous]

"Kids come find me during the middle of the night, allowing their parents to sleep."

This is what confuses me about the live-in situation. How can the kids come to you in the middle of the night, if you are not being paid to work those hours? Do the parents then figure out how many hours you were awake with kids and pay you after the fact? That's what I'm looking for, that flexibility but the posters here made it sound like this would be unacceptable.

You sound like a wonderful nanny!