Not invited to birthday party!

[Anonymous]

My charge of almost 3 years, had her 3rd birthday and his first official big birthday party.
I was not invited to the birthday party, is that normal?
I am shock and feel snub and maybe think maybe the parents don't think I mean anything to their daughter. Should I say anything? I am very bothered by that.

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny and I would be devastated if I wasn't invited to my charge's birthday party. My charge was one last year and I was touched to be invited to a family-only first birthday party -- just me and his grandparents and an uncle and aunt. I'll tell you that invitation and inclusion went a long way to smooth out a couple of rough issues over the last year.

[Anonymous]

What kind of birthday party is it? I've been invited to most parties of current and former charges, but the few I wasn't invited to were once it would have been weird to go to.

Maybe they didn't think you'd be comfortable there or they had to pay per person?

[Anonymous]

It was a birthday party, where everyone was invited, well friends, family members and even neighbors

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It was a birthday party, where everyone was invited, well friends, family members and even neighbors

Yes, OP, I would be very upset and angry. That is NOT normal. Start looking for another job - your current employers have no respect for you or your relationship with their child.

[Anonymous]

I wrote a post about this a few years ago.
My employers had me plan the entire party, wrap gifts and fill out the invitations. I fully expected to be invited and wasn't.
I felt very hurt. It was really the beginning of the end. I started job hunting a month or so later.
I sorry this happened. I know how hurtful it feels.

[Anonymous]

I'm really glad to have read this, because as an employer, I would lean towards inviting, but also feel a bit awkward, because I want the nanny to feel free to decline, since she'd be off-duty. As the employer, if you invite, it's rather close to asking/instructing the nanny to attend, which she might feel obligated to say yes even if she doesn't really want to spend her weekend that way and it should be completely voluntary.

So, glad to have read the consensus that you 100% want to be invited and don't feel put upon to attend.

[Anonymous]

My kids are now 13, 10, and 8. We've never invited a nanny to a birthday party (and I certainly can't imagine doing so at these ages, nor, by the way, would I ever dream of asking a nanny to shop for my kids' birthday gifts or wrap them). Our nanny works for us, she's not part of the family or within our close circle of friends; no different than any other day care provider.

[Anonymous]

Aw, I still go to former charge's birthday celebrations! I'd have been crushed not to be invited while I worked for them, and am thrilled every time I get an invitation now. Luckily my past employers did treat me like part of the (close but) extended family. I think we all treasure the relationships we built.

[Anonymous]

I don't want to invite the nanny, because I don't want them to feel obligated to come or to give a gift. And I DEFINITELY don't want them to feel obligated to work while at the party.

[Anonymous]

I'm a nanny and hate getting invited or asked to babysit during parties. So annoying. I don't want to spend time with the parents and their annoying friends . Mostly it's just talking about everyone's vip job.

[Anonymous]

I don't like to go on my charges birthday parties even though I am invited. I am not not comfortable with bunch of people I am seeing for first time but having said that it feels nice to give invitation to your nanny even though they can't make it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to invite the nanny, because I don't want them to feel obligated to come or to give a gift. And I DEFINITELY don't want them to feel obligated to work while at the party.

This. MB here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a nanny and hate getting invited or asked to babysit during parties. So annoying. I don't want to spend time with the parents and their annoying friends . Mostly it's just talking about everyone's vip job.

Nanny here I feel the same.

[Anonymous]

Sigh I feel you. When my charge turned one they were having his party on the actual day which was a Thursday. I bought him a gift and was excited. Ha. They had me wash dishes while they all had lunch then take pics. When it came time for him cake? MB sent me out to do errands. Bitch.