Not invited to birthday party!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are now 13, 10, and 8. We've never invited a nanny to a birthday party (and I certainly can't imagine doing so at these ages, nor, by the way, would I ever dream of asking a nanny to shop for my kids' birthday gifts or wrap them). Our nanny works for us, she's not part of the family or within our close circle of friends; no different than any other day care provider.

The Help is the help and they better not forget it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sigh I feel you. When my charge turned one they were having his party on the actual day which was a Thursday. I bought him a gift and was excited. Ha. They had me wash dishes while they all had lunch then take pics. When it came time for him cake? MB sent me out to do errands. Bitch.

Not you job to do dishes and I would have lefy them for her to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are now 13, 10, and 8. We've never invited a nanny to a birthday party (and I certainly can't imagine doing so at these ages, nor, by the way, would I ever dream of asking a nanny to shop for my kids' birthday gifts or wrap them). Our nanny works for us, she's not part of the family or within our close circle of friends; no different than any other day care provider.

The Help is the help and they better not forget it!

"The Help" gets paid 1000 bucks a week plus health insurance, so I think "The Help" is doing just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sigh I feel you. When my charge turned one they were having his party on the actual day which was a Thursday. I bought him a gift and was excited. Ha. They had me wash dishes while they all had lunch then take pics. When it came time for him cake? MB sent me out to do errands. Bitch.

Not you job to do dishes and I would have lefy them for her to do.

How do you know if it's her job? Our nanny, like many others I'm sure, has the job description of nanny/house manager, and that includes doing the dishes, even those not the kids (and it's spelled out precisely in her contract what her job duties are, this one included).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are now 13, 10, and 8. We've never invited a nanny to a birthday party (and I certainly can't imagine doing so at these ages, nor, by the way, would I ever dream of asking a nanny to shop for my kids' birthday gifts or wrap them). Our nanny works for us, she's not part of the family or within our close circle of friends; no different than any other day care provider.

The Help is the help and they better not forget it!

Are they or are they not an employee?

[Anonymous]

Nanny of fourteen years here. I've only been invited to a childrens birthday parties by two of my nanny families (I've worked with six families). I thought it was a really nice gesture, and I do feel sad/left out when I am not invited. As far as not wanting nanny to feel obligated to give a gift, that is nonsense because I always give my charges birthday gifts, regardless of whether I'm invited to their party or not, and it's my impression that most full time nannies do.

However, I will say that one of the birthday parties I went to for a charge didn't go particularly well. It was her second birthday, and grandma and grandpa flew in from Florida for it. She was not at all familiar with them (having last seen them nearly a year before), and when MB put DD in grandpas lap, she burst out screaming. MB tried to comfort her, but she kept screaming, wiggled out of MBs arms, and ran straight to me, and after a few minutes when MB and DB both tried to hold her she refused to leave me. I don't think that made anyone in her family too happy. Something similar happened at her first birthday party, but it wasn't quite as dramatic.

My current charges are 3 and 5; I've been with them 3 years, and it really does hurt my feelings that I don't get invited (and their kids are old enough that nothing like what I described above would likely happen). I've considered trying to say something to MB, but I'm not sure it would be appropriate; I certainly don't want to invite myself if they don't want me there.

[Anonymous]

My charges always invite themselves

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are now 13, 10, and 8. We've never invited a nanny to a birthday party (and I certainly can't imagine doing so at these ages, nor, by the way, would I ever dream of asking a nanny to shop for my kids' birthday gifts or wrap them). Our nanny works for us, she's not part of the family or within our close circle of friends; no different than any other day care provider.

The Help is the help and they better not forget it!

Are they or are they not an employee?

No, PP, nannies are NOT an "employee" to the children in their care. They are beloved and you insulted your kids in not including their nanny in their birthday celebrations. You basically told your little ones that their relationship and feelings don't matter to you. I am so sad that you cannot see that.

- signed an MB who grew up with a much loved nanny.

[Anonymous]

I would never think to not invite DS's nanny to his birthday party! Never. Your MB is horrid, OP, and I am so sorry. She has no feelings whatsoever for what her child would want.

[Anonymous]

While I would be hurt to be excluded, perhaps they didn't ask you to come because it will be a mostly kid-oriented event and your bosses assumed that you would be bored stiff.

Or they may not have wanted you to feel obligated for showing up and purchasing a gift for your charge.

They probably think you have things to attend to on your day off.

[Anonymous]

Me too, I hate getting invited because I don't want to be there! I want to stay at home doing my stuff.

Usually I celebrate with my charge a day after with pancakes and candles. Took picture and been silly just the two of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are now 13, 10, and 8. We've never invited a nanny to a birthday party (and I certainly can't imagine doing so at these ages, nor, by the way, would I ever dream of asking a nanny to shop for my kids' birthday gifts or wrap them). Our nanny works for us, she's not part of the family or within our close circle of friends; no different than any other day care provider.

The Help is the help and they better not forget it!

Are they or are they not an employee?

No, PP, nannies are NOT an "employee" to the children in their care. They are beloved and you insulted your kids in not including their nanny in their birthday celebrations. You basically told your little ones that their relationship and feelings don't matter to you. I am so sad that you cannot see that.

- signed an MB who grew up with a much loved nanny.

Is this a joke? Insulted the kids? What a crock. A nanny is an employee, and nothing more, like it or not, the same way a teacher who may be beloved is still a teacher and not a family member or close friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are now 13, 10, and 8. We've never invited a nanny to a birthday party (and I certainly can't imagine doing so at these ages, nor, by the way, would I ever dream of asking a nanny to shop for my kids' birthday gifts or wrap them). Our nanny works for us, she's not part of the family or within our close circle of friends; no different than any other day care provider.

The Help is the help and they better not forget it!

Are they or are they not an employee?

No, PP, nannies are NOT an "employee" to the children in their care. They are beloved and you insulted your kids in not including their nanny in their birthday celebrations. You basically told your little ones that their relationship and feelings don't matter to you. I am so sad that you cannot see that.

- signed an MB who grew up with a much loved nanny.

Is this a joke? Insulted the kids? What a crock. A nanny is an employee, and nothing more, like it or not, the same way a teacher who may be beloved is still a teacher and not a family member or close friend.

Wow, PP, you haven't got a clue what is going on in your children's heads or hearts. I truly do feel so sorry for your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a nanny and hate getting invited or asked to babysit during parties. So annoying. I don't want to spend time with the parents and their annoying friends . Mostly it's just talking about everyone's vip job.

A agree with you,this people just like to show up to each other,lots competition,I hate that ..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are now 13, 10, and 8. We've never invited a nanny to a birthday party (and I certainly can't imagine doing so at these ages, nor, by the way, would I ever dream of asking a nanny to shop for my kids' birthday gifts or wrap them). Our nanny works for us, she's not part of the family or within our close circle of friends; no different than any other day care provider.

The Help is the help and they better not forget it!

Are they or are they not an employee?

No, PP, nannies are NOT an "employee" to the children in their care. They are beloved and you insulted your kids in not including their nanny in their birthday celebrations. You basically told your little ones that their relationship and feelings don't matter to you. I am so sad that you cannot see that.

- signed an MB who grew up with a much loved nanny.

Is this a joke? Insulted the kids? What a crock. A nanny is an employee, and nothing more, like it or not, the same way a teacher who may be beloved is still a teacher and not a family member or close friend.

Wow, PP, you haven't got a clue what is going on in your children's heads or hearts. I truly do feel so sorry for your children.

I feel sorry for you and yours. Do you really think my 14 year old daughter wants or ever has wanted a nanny at her birthday? Has never mentioned it once, in all her years. My 10 year old son at his, playing laser tag with his friends? How about the 8 year old, should the nanny tag along to get mani-pedis or play mini-golf at her party with 10 little girls and a couple of close mom-friends? Even though most parties are drop offs past age 5, maybe 6, you really think the nanny should be there to celebrate with my kids and all their friends? You are delusional.