Why will no one hire a professional nanny that is also a mom?

[mag4happiness]

Can someone PLEASE enlighten me!!! Why will parents in this area not give a second look to a professional nanny that has her own child and needs to bring it/them with?

Do you believe she will take less care of your child(ren)?

I can tell you, this can not be further from the truth. Most nanny moms work their butts off to prove that. In reality its the total opposite. Our kids are the ones that lose out on the arrangement. But no one is giving these professional, educated, nurturing nannies a second look because they wanted to have a family too.

Please enlighten me!

mg

[Anonymous]

Yes, it would be my fear that you would obviously favor your child over mine and tend to your child's needs over mine.

No, I would not hire you, OP. But I am also not interested in a nanny share situation so I don't know why you would expect me to hire you.

[Anonymous]

Because we want our kid to be your primary focus. It's just human nature to look after your own first and then others.

[Anonymous]

Read all the posts about snow days, sick days, etc.. Hiring someone is always a bit of a gamble, but a person with small children of her own is more likely to prioritize staying home with those children when it snows, when their school is closed, when they are sick, or when my kids are sick b/c she doesn't want to expose her kids.

I had one nanny with two children. She actually didn't have those problems, but there were a lot of scheduling problems over the year she worked for us as her own childcare situation changed.

When you only have a single employee, so no one to step in and cover temporarily if it doesn't work out, you try to minimize the likely problems. Remember, we're parents, too, and we know how hard it is to balance work and family care.

Your best bet is to approach interviews up front with information about your own back up care plans.

[Anonymous]

Because if we're hiring a professional nanny we are choosing the most expensive childcare option, probably for the primary benefit of having our baby/child(ren) get lots of personal attention and care. Adding someone else's child to that situation immediately and automatically divides the attention - that's just the reality.

Adding another child into the mix also means inviting other potential illnesses into the house - which might be a very serious concern for parents of newborns for instance.

And Moms know that sometimes when your child is sick you just have to stay home. No one else can (or should be expected to) care for your child when they are really ill. So that is almost guaranteed to happen at some point - which means it's one more thing that can tip the scale in favor of another candidate for whom that is less likely to happen.

So while I would certainly consider hiring someone who needs to bring her own child with her, that would come under the category of concessions I might make if I truly felt that caregiver were the best, most wonderful, unique fit for our family. It would be on the list of things we would debate in terms of importance/necessity/must have versus luxury. Things like ability to drive, fluency in English, advanced education, extensive nannying experience, background in preschool education, ability to teach a second language, communication skills, hourly rates, ability to pick up the occasional hour of overtime, etc...

Just a suggestion though, stop shouting about it. It is the reality and being so agitated about it will be a turn-off even to someone for whom you bringing your child might not otherwise be an issue.

[Anonymous]

No, I am sorry, OP, but I would never hire you either. For the reasons list by a few other mothers above and also because I want the bond between my son and his nanny to be primary to both of them. That is not possible with your own child being present.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I wouldn't hire you either, OP.

Look for employers seeking a nanny share situation. Maybe they would be more open to it. Honestly, even in a nanny share, I wouldn't want the other child to be the nanny's.

[Anonymous]

mag4happiness wrote:Can someone PLEASE enlighten me!!! Why will parents in this area not give a second look to a professional nanny that has her own child and needs to bring it/them with?

Do you believe she will take less care of your child(ren)?

I can tell you, this can not be further from the truth. Most nanny moms work their butts off to prove that. In reality its the total opposite. Our kids are the ones that lose out on the arrangement. But no one is giving these professional, educated, nurturing nannies a second look because they wanted to have a family too.

PLEASE ENLIGHTEN ME!!

mg

It isn't about you wanting to have a family it is about your bringing that family to work. Most people would have an issue with that in every occupation!!!

[Anonymous]

Our current nanny is a mother of two, but they're in their teens. It can create scheduling problems that we've never had with a childless nanny, but it's workable.

I would not, however, hire a nanny who wanted to bring her own child. I am not interested in subsidizing someone's stay at home parenting decision. So many are women who want to stay home with their babies and decide that they'll "nanny" another child too, at full rates, and I should be grateful for the opportunity for my child to have a playmate brought to the house each day. Nope - not buying it.

Also - huge liability issue. I can get workers comp protection for nanny, but not for nanny's child.

And: equality of opportunities, privileges, etc. I may want my children to be able to go to certain paid activities or have memberships at certain places (think aquarium, pool, etc.). I am not going to pay for nanny's child to attend, and I am not going to alter what I want my kids to do if nanny's kid could not participate. I do not want nanny to be in a position where she'd be making decisions based on what her child versus my child wants to do. If she decides "in favor" of something better for her kid, well that's not why I have a nanny, is it? If she decides "in favor" of my kids, resentment can grow.

I don't want to pay for food for another person in addition to nanny (my kids eat a ton, so don't say it's negligible). I don't want to have to adjust my kids' schedule to accomodate another kid's. I don't want to have to make room in my house for another child's naps or my car for another child's seat. If we wanted another child in our home, we'd have added another to our family. It just in no way is helpful or positive for me as an employer and has only downsides.

[Anonymous]

Adding to what PPs have said: it's not about whether I'd be willing to hire a nanny who has children. That's a very different question than if I'd hire a nanny who brings her child to work.

My response to that is the same as my employer's response would be to me: nope, not appropriate, not happening. This is not the right job for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our current nanny is a mother of two, but they're in their teens. It can create scheduling problems that we've never had with a childless nanny, but it's workable.

I would not, however, hire a nanny who wanted to bring her own child. I am not interested in subsidizing someone's stay at home parenting decision. So many are women who want to stay home with their babies and decide that they'll "nanny" another child too, at full rates, and I should be grateful for the opportunity for my child to have a playmate brought to the house each day. Nope - not buying it.

Also - huge liability issue. I can get workers comp protection for nanny, but not for nanny's child.

And: equality of opportunities, privileges, etc. I may want my children to be able to go to certain paid activities or have memberships at certain places (think aquarium, pool, etc.). I am not going to pay for nanny's child to attend, and I am not going to alter what I want my kids to do if nanny's kid could not participate. I do not want nanny to be in a position where she'd be making decisions based on what her child versus my child wants to do. If she decides "in favor" of something better for her kid, well that's not why I have a nanny, is it? If she decides "in favor" of my kids, resentment can grow.

I don't want to pay for food for another person in addition to nanny (my kids eat a ton, so don't say it's negligible). I don't want to have to adjust my kids' schedule to accomodate another kid's. I don't want to have to make room in my house for another child's naps or my car for another child's seat. If we wanted another child in our home, we'd have added another to our family. It just in no way is helpful or positive for me as an employer and has only downsides.

These are great reasons. There is zero chance I would hire you, Sorry OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Adding to what PPs have said: it's not about whether I'd be willing to hire a nanny who has children. That's a very different question than if I'd hire a nanny who brings her child to work.

My response to that is the same as my employer's response would be to me: nope, not appropriate, not happening. This is not the right job for you.

I would never hire a nanny who has children younger than high school. No way, no how.

[Anonymous]

If you want to do childcare and have your own child present, open a home day care. It's more in line with the reality of your situation.

[Anonymous]

Because they're selfish. They have a lot of round-about ways of justifying it, but it is because these women are selfish. They want someone 100% devoted to them and their needs. However, by that logic, you'd need a single, nanny with no familial ties at all, or any semblance of a personal life. Every employee has things they prioritize over their job, and to think having a child is some insurmountable challenge that cannot be overcome (and you all are mothers yourselves!!!) is absolutely ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because they're selfish. They have a lot of round-about ways of justifying it, but it is because these women are selfish. They want someone 100% devoted to them and their needs. However, by that logic, you'd need a single, nanny with no familial ties at all, or any semblance of a personal life. Every employee has things they prioritize over their job, and to think having a child is some insurmountable challenge that cannot be overcome (and you all are mothers yourselves!!!) is absolutely ridiculous.

Yes, I admit it - I do want a nanny 100% devoted to my child's needs. So? That is selfish in your book? My employers don't let me bring my baby to work with me (which is why I need a nanny) so are they selfish, too? The whole working world is selfish.

You and OP are being ridiculous. Yes, we are mothers - WE ARE MOTHERS WHO NEED NANNIES BECAUSE WE CANNOT BRING OUR CHILDREN TO WORK WITH US.