"It doesn't hurt to ask"... or does it?

[Anonymous]

My employers are always asking me for favors. I can (and do) say no often but I am starting to resent constantly being asked. DB is okay with the "no" but MB always looks like her world is caving in when I tell her I cannot do something.

I think the expression "it doesn't hurt to ask" means it doesn't hurt the person with the request because it sure as hell hurts me to have to say no. And I resent feeling bad and blame the asker of the favor.

[Anonymous]

Do they pay you extra $$ for all that? If not, you're a doormat.

[Anonymous]

What are they asking you to do?

[Anonymous]

Same is true of a nanny constantly asking for favors from her MB.

I dont think anyone likes to say no so you are correct, OP, it does hurt to ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do they pay you extra $$ for all that? If not, you're a doormat.

OP here - no. They are just random favors - switch days off, pick up something for MB while I am out with charge, babysit at night for she or one of her friends (that yes - I do get paid for). I can, and often do, say no - but I hate MB's response to my refusal and I am starting to hate being asked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same is true of a nanny constantly asking for favors from her MB.

I dont think anyone likes to say no so you are correct, OP, it does hurt to ask.

+ 1. I HATE how many favors our nanny asks for, too.

[Anonymous]

Thing is, if things don't work out, nanny gets a new job, but your child gets another nanny.

Frequent change of primary caregivers during "the foundation years" is most tragic. If you only knew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thing is, if things don't work out, nanny gets a new job, but your child gets another nanny.

Frequent change of primary caregivers during "the foundation years" is most tragic. If you only knew.

Maybe mom and dad should be there more during the foundation years and then the nanny won't be such a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same is true of a nanny constantly asking for favors from her MB.

I dont think anyone likes to say no so you are correct, OP, it does hurt to ask.

+ 1. I HATE how many favors our nanny asks for, too.

+2 Yes, OP, it does hurt to have to continually say no and it does color my opinion of our nanny who asks frequently for favors. I am sure it is the same for nannies being asked too many favors by their MB/DB.

And it is simply rude.

[Anonymous]

Favors should be asked in emergency situations only, IMO. I hate having to say no, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do they pay you extra $$ for all that? If not, you're a doormat.

OP here - no. They are just random favors - switch days off, pick up something for MB while I am out with charge, babysit at night for she or one of her friends (that yes - I do get paid for). I can, and often do, say no - but I hate MB's response to my refusal and I am starting to hate being asked.

You are on duty and out and about and you roll your eyes at picking something up from the store for the baby? Ugh, I bet you commiserate with all those "I'm an amazing nanny but MB hates me" posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do they pay you extra $$ for all that? If not, you're a doormat.

OP here - no. They are just random favors - switch days off, pick up something for MB while I am out with charge, babysit at night for she or one of her friends (that yes - I do get paid for). I can, and often do, say no - but I hate MB's response to my refusal and I am starting to hate being asked.

You are on duty and out and about and you roll your eyes at picking something up from the store for the baby? Ugh, I bet you commiserate with all those "I'm an amazing nanny but MB hates me" posts.

OP here and the request is never for the baby - they are personal requests for MB as I clearly stated like pick up her dry cleaning.

Please learn to read more carefully and you'll upset yourself less often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do they pay you extra $$ for all that? If not, you're a doormat.

OP here - no. They are just random favors - switch days off, pick up something for MB while I am out with charge, babysit at night for she or one of her friends (that yes - I do get paid for). I can, and often do, say no - but I hate MB's response to my refusal and I am starting to hate being asked.

You are on duty and out and about and you roll your eyes at picking something up from the store for the baby? Ugh, I bet you commiserate with all those "I'm an amazing nanny but MB hates me" posts.

OP here and the request is never for the baby - they are personal requests for MB as I clearly stated like pick up her dry cleaning.

Please learn to read more carefully and you'll upset yourself less often.

Doesn't change anything. You are out with her child, on duty, being paid by her, you can easily run to CVS or the dry cleaning place. If it's so miserable just quit so MB can find a real nanny.

[Anonymous]

As a nanny, I have learned NEVER TO OFFER to do anything extra for MB or it will become a routine part of my job. I actually had to write NEVER OFFER on my daily personal calendar to remind myself.

I am sorry it has to be this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do they pay you extra $$ for all that? If not, you're a doormat.

OP here - no. They are just random favors - switch days off, pick up something for MB while I am out with charge, babysit at night for she or one of her friends (that yes - I do get paid for). I can, and often do, say no - but I hate MB's response to my refusal and I am starting to hate being asked.

You are on duty and out and about and you roll your eyes at picking something up from the store for the baby? Ugh, I bet you commiserate with all those "I'm an amazing nanny but MB hates me" posts.

OP here and the request is never for the baby - they are personal requests for MB as I clearly stated like pick up her dry cleaning.

Please learn to read more carefully and you'll upset yourself less often.

Doesn't change anything. You are out with her child, on duty, being paid by her, you can easily run to CVS or the dry cleaning place. If it's so miserable just quit so MB can find a real nanny.

Not PP but anything outside of my normal tasks and responsibilities at work are "favors" and I am an MB, not a nanny.