Are my bosses being unreasonable?

[Anonymous]

I have been employed with a family for 9 month. I have never missed a day and Ive never been late ( always 5-10 early). I regularly stay late, sometimes up to three times a week, allowing them to have date night, etc. My regular hours are 8-6 but I have stayed up until 10/30 some nights. I would say I have accommodated their schedule changes at least 50 times and I've never turned them down. I have a minor issue that I need to get taken care of ( tonsils removed). I told them I will have to take 2 days off next week to have it done. This will give me Thursday and Friday off ( surgery Wed) so I can heal up over the weekend. MB told me that I am leaving them high and dry with short notice ( I'm giving a week) and she seemed pretty PO'd that I would have to miss work. I will say I am quite surprised by their behavior. They have been very good to me. I don't see the problem with missing two days when I've accommodated their demands over 50 times. I get 5 sick days per year. What should I do regarding this situation?

[Anonymous]

Being non-emergency surgery (and I am assuming that -- maybe your tonsils really do need to be removed immediately) could you give them more time to find replacement childcare by postponing your procedure?

[Anonymous]

You've spoiled them by being super reliable, and they obviously don't appreciate it. If I were you, I might have a conversation with her a week or two removed from this situation about her expectations for your use of PTO. Ask her what she thinks is a reasonable amount of notice. And also maybe bring up the fact that emergencies do happen, and that you would feel better knowing that they have a backup plan should it be needed. Some MBs might take offense to that last part, but so many of them neglect to have a plan then fault you for it.

[Anonymous]

Generally, advance notice is ideal. Usually a minimum of two weeks notice when requesting days off. This gives parents plenty of time to find alternative care. Parents tend to have this mindset that nannies are supposed to be accommodating to last minuate scheduling changes and often assume we want the extra hours/money. While I don't agree with that mindset I have realized it's fairly common. This is why clear boundaries should be placed and a detailed pto section placed in your contract.
In your current situation, I would apologize for the short notice and reiterate that it is a mandatory medical procedure that can't be delayed then had them a list of local backup care agencies. I'd than ask to have a pto section placed in your contract to clarify policies in the future. Also, I would start setting up boundaries and no longer stay late or sit as often. It helps them realize you have a life outside of work.

I'd also check with a doctor about your frequent illnesses that cause you to miss so many days off a year. Being sick unable to work 5 days a year, while not excessive, is not completely normal.

Best of luck. And if all else fails, just ignore their rude behavior. People take things to personally and it clouds their judgment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'd also check with a doctor about your frequent illnesses that cause you to miss so many days off a year. Being sick unable to work 5 days a year, while not excessive, is not completely normal.

She didn't say she's out sick 5 days a year. She said she gets 5 sick days a year - as in that's part of her PTO. And it's not unusual - a cold can take you out for 2-3 days. When working with young children, it's really not that unusual to get sick 2-3 times a year.

[Anonymous]

I'd be annoyed if I were the MB here. why would you schedule a surgery for a week later? that (a non-emergency surgery) should have more advanced notice. while I'd let you take it off bc that's the right thing to do, I'd be annoyed that you are taking 3 days off and have given me less than a week to figure things out. I'm a nanny and always give my PTO notice at least 3 weeks in advance and the latest I had to cancel was one evening when I had food poisoning and told them I wouldn't make it the next day

[Anonymous]

2 weeks notice at a minimum is always nice, but with surgery you don't always get that option.



But yes she is being unreasonable.

After your surgery start establing boundaries.

While flexibility is nice on your behalf it can go too far

Hope you have a speedy recovery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd be annoyed if I were the MB here. why would you schedule a surgery for a week later? that (a non-emergency surgery) should have more advanced notice. while I'd let you take it off bc that's the right thing to do, I'd be annoyed that you are taking 3 days off and have given me less than a week to figure things out. I'm a nanny and always give my PTO notice at least 3 weeks in advance and the latest I had to cancel was one evening when I had food poisoning and told them I wouldn't make it the next day

+1. It's three days, not two days, and it's not emergency surgery. I'm guessing you want to be fully recovered by the holidays so don't want to push it later? Also, the grown-ups I have known who have had tonsils removed have had difficult recoveries. Did your doctor say that if you had surgery Wednesday you'd be able to go back to work on Monday? I would have guessed more like a week ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'd also check with a doctor about your frequent illnesses that cause you to miss so many days off a year. Being sick unable to work 5 days a year, while not excessive, is not completely normal.

She didn't say she's out sick 5 days a year. She said she gets 5 sick days a year - as in that's part of her PTO. And it's not unusual - a cold can take you out for 2-3 days. When working with young children, it's really not that unusual to get sick 2-3 times a year.

I'm OP. if you reread my post CORRECTLY you will see where I said I have NOT missed any days of work. I am given 5 sick days from my benefits package.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'd also check with a doctor about your frequent illnesses that cause you to miss so many days off a year. Being sick unable to work 5 days a year, while not excessive, is not completely normal.

She didn't say she's out sick 5 days a year. She said she gets 5 sick days a year - as in that's part of her PTO. And it's not unusual - a cold can take you out for 2-3 days. When working with young children, it's really not that unusual to get sick 2-3 times a year.

I'm OP. if you reread my post CORRECTLY you will see where I said I have NOT missed any days of work. I am given 5 sick days from my benefits package.

I never said you took this many days off at your current position. I was suggesting you speak to a doctor if you get sick five times a year so severely that you need time off. Being sick that often can be a sign of a weak immune system. This additional comment had nothing to do with your current situation, it was just added advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'd also check with a doctor about your frequent illnesses that cause you to miss so many days off a year. Being sick unable to work 5 days a year, while not excessive, is not completely normal.

She didn't say she's out sick 5 days a year. She said she gets 5 sick days a year - as in that's part of her PTO. And it's not unusual - a cold can take you out for 2-3 days. When working with young children, it's really not that unusual to get sick 2-3 times a year.

I'm OP. if you reread my post CORRECTLY you will see where I said I have NOT missed any days of work. I am given 5 sick days from my benefits package.

I never said you took this many days off at your current position. I was suggesting you speak to a doctor if you get sick five times a year so severely that you need time off. Being sick that often can be a sign of a weak immune system. This additional comment had nothing to do with your current situation, it was just added advice.

NP here. wow, read AND comprehend much? the OP said she gets 5 days of sick leave of which she has used NONE to date. I don't see how this relates to ANYTHING you just said - where anywhere does she say she is sick 5 times a year??

as a MB, I would not have an issue with this as things come up AND we have backup care. Although I too would probably be a tad annoyed as my work is super crazy the week before the holiday (we have a week + shutdown).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being non-emergency surgery (and I am assuming that -- maybe your tonsils really do need to be removed immediately) could you give them more time to find replacement childcare by postponing your procedure?

Tonsilectomy in adults is a serious opetation. She has hiven them more than enough time. Her health is more important than her job. Personally, after all she has done for these ingrates, I'd look for a new job and give them only two weeks notice, if that much


OP, I can bet that this MB is going to fire you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'd also check with a doctor about your frequent illnesses that cause you to miss so many days off a year. Being sick unable to work 5 days a year, while not excessive, is not completely normal.

She didn't say she's out sick 5 days a year. She said she gets 5 sick days a year - as in that's part of her PTO. And it's not unusual - a cold can take you out for 2-3 days. When working with young children, it's really not that unusual to get sick 2-3 times a year.

I'm OP. if you reread my post CORRECTLY you will see where I said I have NOT missed any days of work. I am given 5 sick days from my benefits package.

I never said you took this many days off at your current position. I was suggesting you speak to a doctor if you get sick five times a year so severely that you need time off. Being sick that often can be a sign of a weak immune system. This additional comment had nothing to do with your current situation, it was just added advice.

NP here. wow, read AND comprehend much? the OP said she gets 5 days of sick leave of which she has used NONE to date. I don't see how this relates to ANYTHING you just said - where anywhere does she say she is sick 5 times a year??

as a MB, I would not have an issue with this as things come up AND we have backup care. Although I too would probably be a tad annoyed as my work is super crazy the week before the holiday (we have a week + shutdown).

You'd be super annoyed that your nanny needs to yt? a mm e care of her health? You are a a word that rhymes with Witch.

[Anonymous]

To take care of her health in 11;11.

[Anonymous]

NP MB here. Our nanny has always been really accommodating to us and likewise I always try to be with her as well. I should say though that barring any emergencies I always try to give her a months notice for date nights/late meetings etc so if I was your MB I'd also be annoyed that you only gave me 1 weeks notice for non-emergency surgery. I do have backup care for emergencies but it is just that, for emergencies. Ie nanny is sick at the last minute etc. While this might be urgent it's not an emergency and I think 2 weeks notice would have been more appropriate.