I hate to write this but some of you nannies need to get your act together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can always grieve on your days off.
You need to show up for work regardless.

One poster said her Mom died on a Saturday and she showed up for work the following Monday.
If she can do that then no one should be taking any time off for a silly cat.

Sounds like she wasn’t close to her mother. I personally would need several days to a week in order to recover from the loss of my mother. And even then I would still be a crying mess. People without empathy have a hard time understanding. Just bc you don’t like cats doesn’t mean someone wouldn’t be a mess at the loss of their companion. You can raise and care for a cat the way people do for their children.

Maybe if you replace “mother” with “your child” you would understand. If your child died on Saturday would you be back to work on Monday?

People grieve in different ways. Some need to work, to be able to get through it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can always grieve on your days off.
You need to show up for work regardless.

One poster said her Mom died on a Saturday and she showed up for work the following Monday.
If she can do that then no one should be taking any time off for a silly cat.

Sounds like she wasn’t close to her mother. I personally would need several days to a week in order to recover from the loss of my mother. And even then I would still be a crying mess. People without empathy have a hard time understanding. Just bc you don’t like cats doesn’t mean someone wouldn’t be a mess at the loss of their companion. You can raise and care for a cat the way people do for their children.

Maybe if you replace “mother” with “your child” you would understand. If your child died on Saturday would you be back to work on Monday?

People grieve in different ways. Some need to work, to be able to get through it.

And some need to take off, to be able to get through it. Praising someone who goes into work on Monday when their mother died on Saturday and claiming “no one should be taking any time off for a silly cat” is an unnecessarily rude, mean and tone deaf comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can always grieve on your days off.
You need to show up for work regardless.

One poster said her Mom died on a Saturday and she showed up for work the following Monday.
If she can do that then no one should be taking any time off for a silly cat.

Sounds like she wasn’t close to her mother. I personally would need several days to a week in order to recover from the loss of my mother. And even then I would still be a crying mess. People without empathy have a hard time understanding. Just bc you don’t like cats doesn’t mean someone wouldn’t be a mess at the loss of their companion. You can raise and care for a cat the way people do for their children.

Maybe if you replace “mother” with “your child” you would understand. If your child died on Saturday would you be back to work on Monday?

People grieve in different ways. Some need to work, to be able to get through it.

And some need to take off, to be able to get through it. Praising someone who goes into work on Monday when their mother died on Saturday and claiming “no one should be taking any time off for a silly cat” is an unnecessarily rude, mean and tone deaf comment.

I disagree completely. Having lost my mother, I can promise you it takes far more than a few days to get past the initial sadness. A couple of days won’t matter. And the loss is forever. I went to work after my mom died - there was no reason not to and every reason to stay busy.

Taking off time for a cat and expecting bereavement days (not vacation or PTO) is utterly absurd.

- a nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can always grieve on your days off.
You need to show up for work regardless.

One poster said her Mom died on a Saturday and she showed up for work the following Monday.
If she can do that then no one should be taking any time off for a silly cat.

Sounds like she wasn’t close to her mother. I personally would need several days to a week in order to recover from the loss of my mother. And even then I would still be a crying mess. People without empathy have a hard time understanding. Just bc you don’t like cats doesn’t mean someone wouldn’t be a mess at the loss of their companion. You can raise and care for a cat the way people do for their children.

Maybe if you replace “mother” with “your child” you would understand. If your child died on Saturday would you be back to work on Monday?

People grieve in different ways. Some need to work, to be able to get through it.

And some need to take off, to be able to get through it. Praising someone who goes into work on Monday when their mother died on Saturday and claiming “no one should be taking any time off for a silly cat” is an unnecessarily rude, mean and tone deaf comment.

I disagree completely. Having lost my mother, I can promise you it takes far more than a few days to get past the initial sadness. A couple of days won’t matter. And the loss is forever. I went to work after my mom died - there was no reason not to and every reason to stay busy.

Taking off time for a cat and expecting bereavement days (not vacation or PTO) is utterly absurd.

- a nanny

So you lack empathy. Which as a nanny is really questionable. Your experience is not everyone else’s and it’s absurd you think they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my my dog passed away I’d be heartbroken and would need the day off . Sounds like you’re the one who needs to grow up bashing others for things you don’t agree with!

While it is more understandable to hear that you had to take a day off for your dog, it still is unprofessional and really immature.
No one needs a day off for grieving an animal!!

My Father passed while I was in finals in college.
While I was in shock and grief, I still studied hard to pass my exams.
Because my father wouldn’t have wanted me to throw away my education.

Grief is real, I truly acknowledge that fact.
But when grief affects your career - then that is a clear sign your priorities are whacked.

I'm truly sorry about the loss of your father during exams in college- that sounds super horrific and it takes a great deal of strength to continue studying and passing your exams in the middle of a great loss. I hope others can be inspired to know that loss doesnt have to mean its the end of the road.

With that said, I hope you can see that what you wrote is about you and your personal experience. What others have shared here are their personal experiences and that is alright. Why because when it comes to grief, mental health and the degree to which people can deal with a crisis (regardless of how its gravity is perceived), is an extremely subjective matter. It truly depends on the person and how you deal with crisis on a physical and mental level. It takes working with people struggling with mental health to understand that not everyone deals with grief the SAME way. Sharing your personal experience of how you dealt with grief is great but sharing it to them imply that someone else should have or should deal with their situation the same way is not alright because it minimizes their experience and makes a premature conclusions about the way they dealt with their situation with no consideration about that person's support system, the gravity of their situation and a full picture of that person's choices and life experience which do influence how people deal with mental health crisis such as grief (which no one ever plans for). To you, someone taking a day off to grieve their cat may seem like a ridiculous way to have their pet affect their career. But do you know that person intimately? No. Come to find out there are people who have pets as their only form of family, love and support through no fault of their own. I dont think we can expect others to deal with grief the same way that we did. I'm not necessarily here to endorse the practice of expecting days off to grieve pets but at the same time I think that before making uninformed judgements about how people deal with this and comparing them to our choices and experiences, it might be wise to take into account the full picture or we would risk making harsh and insensitive unformed judgements thinking we know better and we don't. This is how we read of stories of how a bunch of coworkers judged their coworkers for missing work and taking yet another day off only to find out that in addition to taking a day off for their cat, that person also suffers from high anxiety and they have no support system to help them through the crisis (the cat was their therapy), perhaps they have no family nearby or even at all. This is just an example. From what I have seen, grief affecting someone's career is not always a choice. This is one reason why the state of mental health in this country is not that great. Let's look at things assuming we just may not know the full picture. Warm wishes to all.

[Anonymous]

PP. Also, I hope some of the commenters on here have never and will never have to experience a grief or mental health crisis because if you do, you generally have a lot more empathy for people who do.
Also, lets learn to known the difference between knowing your abilities as a good and qualified and just straight up arrogance. A a lot of comments here are coming off extremely arrogant and insensitive and unfortunately its being confused with professionalism and good work ethics. Lacking a sense of empathy and humility when approaching someone else situation should be a bit alarming considering that this is a forum for people who work with children. Having empathy doesnt mean you are any less professional, weak or immature. Before assuming that you can handle things better, first ask yourself if you have been in that persons shows and chances are we haven't. No one has that person's experience which is personal to them. It doesnt take a lot to understand that how someone handles their job, personal life and needs shouldn't have anything to with you or your professional abilities if you are truly confident in them. This is why despite knowing how I would handle my situation, I understand that I cannot comment, minimize or shame others for how they handle theirs especially if I know I don't have a full picture of their situation. It doesnt take a lot from us to understand this. Its just about human decency.

[Anonymous]

shoes*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can always grieve on your days off.
You need to show up for work regardless.

One poster said her Mom died on a Saturday and she showed up for work the following Monday.
If she can do that then no one should be taking any time off for a silly cat.

Sounds like she wasn’t close to her mother. I personally would need several days to a week in order to recover from the loss of my mother. And even then I would still be a crying mess. People without empathy have a hard time understanding. Just bc you don’t like cats doesn’t mean someone wouldn’t be a mess at the loss of their companion. You can raise and care for a cat the way people do for their children.

Maybe if you replace “mother” with “your child” you would understand. If your child died on Saturday would you be back to work on Monday?

People grieve in different ways. Some need to work, to be able to get through it.

And some need to take off, to be able to get through it. Praising someone who goes into work on Monday when their mother died on Saturday and claiming “no one should be taking any time off for a silly cat” is an unnecessarily rude, mean and tone deaf comment.

I disagree completely. Having lost my mother, I can promise you it takes far more than a few days to get past the initial sadness. A couple of days won’t matter. And the loss is forever. I went to work after my mom died - there was no reason not to and every reason to stay busy.

Taking off time for a cat and expecting bereavement days (not vacation or PTO) is utterly absurd.

- a nanny

So you lack empathy. Which as a nanny is really questionable. Your experience is not everyone else’s and it’s absurd you think they are.

To quote another poster: grow the f up.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry for the children some of you
Say you’re caring for(so heartless)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can always grieve on your days off.
You need to show up for work regardless.

One poster said her Mom died on a Saturday and she showed up for work the following Monday.
If she can do that then no one should be taking any time off for a silly cat.

Sounds like she wasn’t close to her mother. I personally would need several days to a week in order to recover from the loss of my mother. And even then I would still be a crying mess. People without empathy have a hard time understanding. Just bc you don’t like cats doesn’t mean someone wouldn’t be a mess at the loss of their companion. You can raise and care for a cat the way people do for their children.

Maybe if you replace “mother” with “your child” you would understand. If your child died on Saturday would you be back to work on Monday?

People grieve in different ways. Some need to work, to be able to get through it.

And some need to take off, to be able to get through it. Praising someone who goes into work on Monday when their mother died on Saturday and claiming “no one should be taking any time off for a silly cat” is an unnecessarily rude, mean and tone deaf comment.

I disagree completely. Having lost my mother, I can promise you it takes far more than a few days to get past the initial sadness. A couple of days won’t matter. And the loss is forever. I went to work after my mom died - there was no reason not to and every reason to stay busy.

Taking off time for a cat and expecting bereavement days (not vacation or PTO) is utterly absurd.

- a nanny

So you lack empathy. Which as a nanny is really questionable. Your experience is not everyone else’s and it’s absurd you think they are.

To quote another poster: grow the f up.

As a funtioning adult I have empathy. Maybe it’s time for you to grow the f up. Once you do grow the f up you’ll realize grief is real and how people handle grief differs. Until then you’ll stay a d*ck of a person. Carry on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry for the children some of you
Say you’re caring for(so heartless)

Exactly.

Do these people tell their kids or charges when an animal dies, “oh well, it was just a silly cat.” Or “grow the f up kid, it’s just a pet.”

[Anonymous]

reading this post disgusted me. I have no faith in humanity. some of y'all are truly sad excuses for humans. point of the post: just be a good employee. you know what it means. but don't tell other people they're absurd because they're cat died and they're grieveing. I would rather hang out with my cat than some of you people on here who sound utterly horrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry for the children some of you
Say you’re caring for(so heartless)

Exactly.

Do these people tell their kids or charges when an animal dies, “oh well, it was just a silly cat.” Or “grow the f up kid, it’s just a pet.”

No, but I teach them how to handle it. I have led several funerals for cats or dogs, watched several goldfish swirl down the toilet, and validated children’s emotions while gently encouraging them to continue functioning in the rest of the world. That’s what we’re saying, life goes on even after a pet dies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry for the children some of you
Say you’re caring for(so heartless)

News flash: you can have enormous empathy and love and still act like an adult. Billions of people do it every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:reading this post disgusted me. I have no faith in humanity. some of y'all are truly sad excuses for humans. point of the post: just be a good employee. you know what it means. but don't tell other people they're absurd because they're cat died and they're grieveing. I would rather hang out with my cat than some of you people on here who sound utterly horrible.

Stop being a fool! You can grieve a pet or loved one and still work.