I hate to write this but some of you nannies need to get your act together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:reading this post disgusted me. I have no faith in humanity. some of y'all are truly sad excuses for humans. point of the post: just be a good employee. you know what it means. but don't tell other people they're absurd because they're cat died and they're grieveing. I would rather hang out with my cat than some of you people on here who sound utterly horrible.

Stop being a fool! You can grieve a pet or loved one and still work.

Certainly YOU can.
As well as some others.

But everyone grieves differently & uniquely.
And there is no set time frame.

I wouldn’t have an issue if an employee had to take off three days max to grieve an animal.
I would be sympathetic and I know as a parent - then I should already have a back-up childcare plan in place.
All parents need to have back-up childcare options in place.
It is their responsibility.

If a nanny needed more than a week off, then we would need to talk it out in person.

The original poster sounds like a good worker, she was trying her best.
But if she is too grief-stricken to work then what use would she be anyway?
Best to let her stay home and heal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry for the children some of you
Say you’re caring for(so heartless)

Exactly.

Do these people tell their kids or charges when an animal dies, “oh well, it was just a silly cat.” Or “grow the f up kid, it’s just a pet.”

No, but I teach them how to handle it. I have led several funerals for cats or dogs, watched several goldfish swirl down the toilet, and validated children’s emotions while gently encouraging them to continue functioning in the rest of the world. That’s what we’re saying, life goes on even after a pet dies.

No, that’s absolutely not the message this thread is portraying and you know it. It’s more along the lines of....don’t grieve, don’t take time off, get over it, it’s just a pet/parent/loved one. The sooner you return to work the better. Everyone knows life goes on but that doesn’t mean you can’t grieve in your own way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:reading this post disgusted me. I have no faith in humanity. some of y'all are truly sad excuses for humans. point of the post: just be a good employee. you know what it means. but don't tell other people they're absurd because they're cat died and they're grieveing. I would rather hang out with my cat than some of you people on here who sound utterly horrible.

Stop being a fool! You can grieve a pet or loved one and still work.

No.

YOU can grieve a pet or loved one and return to work the next day. Others need more time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry for the children some of you
Say you’re caring for(so heartless)

News flash: you can have enormous empathy and love and still act like an adult. Billions of people do it every day.

It doesn’t seem like a lot of posters on this thread have empathy. I’m confused on what you think acting like an adult means. If someone or something you loves dies and you need time to grieve that doesn’t make you any less of an adult.

[Anonymous]

^^I could not agree more.

To call an individual out as “immature” just because they are too grief-stricken to go to work is absolutely flawed logic.

The way one grieves has absolutely nothing to do w/their maturity level.
I personally do not think taking a week off to heal from the sudden death of a beloved pet is overkill.
As an employer, a week off is perfectly within reason.

I would not fire my employee for not coming in due to a loss of a beloved companion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry for the children some of you
Say you’re caring for(so heartless)

Exactly.

Do these people tell their kids or charges when an animal dies, “oh well, it was just a silly cat.” Or “grow the f up kid, it’s just a pet.”

No, but I teach them how to handle it. I have led several funerals for cats or dogs, watched several goldfish swirl down the toilet, and validated children’s emotions while gently encouraging them to continue functioning in the rest of the world. That’s what we’re saying, life goes on even after a pet dies.

No, that’s absolutely not the message this thread is portraying and you know it. It’s more along the lines of....don’t grieve, don’t take time off, get over it, it’s just a pet/parent/loved one. The sooner you return to work the better. Everyone knows life goes on but that doesn’t mean you can’t grieve in your own way.

That’s exactly the point. Kids don’t miss school when a pet dies. Adults don’t miss work when a pet dies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry for the children some of you
Say you’re caring for(so heartless)

Exactly.

Do these people tell their kids or charges when an animal dies, “oh well, it was just a silly cat.” Or “grow the f up kid, it’s just a pet.”

No, but I teach them how to handle it. I have led several funerals for cats or dogs, watched several goldfish swirl down the toilet, and validated children’s emotions while gently encouraging them to continue functioning in the rest of the world. That’s what we’re saying, life goes on even after a pet dies.

No, that’s absolutely not the message this thread is portraying and you know it. It’s more along the lines of....don’t grieve, don’t take time off, get over it, it’s just a pet/parent/loved one. The sooner you return to work the better. Everyone knows life goes on but that doesn’t mean you can’t grieve in your own way.

That’s exactly the point. Kids don’t miss school when a pet dies. Adults don’t miss work when a pet dies.

Not true. I’ve known adults to take PTO for an animals death. Thanks for speaking for all adults though.

[Anonymous]

I acknowledge that there are people who are not “animal” people - yet they still have a pet.
Maybe they did so for their spouse, or their child.
Then when the pet dies, the person may not be emotionally affected.

On the other hand, there could be a person who lives alone, perhaps has no close family + friends.
Their pet may fill an empty void in their heart.
So when said pet passes away, the individual may grieve deeply.

Each situation is unique along w/the circumstances.
To collectively claim that a person who is too grief-stricken to come into their job should be automatically canned is plain cruel.

[Anonymous]

Some of you are truly pathetically ridiculous. And it’s embarrassing.

News flash: professionals go to work when a pet dies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I acknowledge that there are people who are not “animal” people - yet they still have a pet.
Maybe they did so for their spouse, or their child.
Then when the pet dies, the person may not be emotionally affected.

On the other hand, there could be a person who lives alone, perhaps has no close family + friends.
Their pet may fill an empty void in their heart.
So when said pet passes away, the individual may grieve deeply.

Each situation is unique along w/the circumstances.
To collectively claim that a person who is too grief-stricken to come into their job should be automatically canned is plain cruel.

Nope. I would definitely say that I'm an animal person.

My mother and I ran the cat portion of a rescue for 3 years, fostering non-lactating adults, older juveniles and pregnant females (temporarily, while we waited for a foster home to open after a lactating mom weaned). We found foster homes for pregnant moms, litters of kittens with lactating moms, and special needs cats. When we had litters come in without the mother, we switched off around the clock to feed the babies and keep them alive. We did intakes for every single cat that came into the rescue, decided on how much work they would need before placement, what to do when there were medical cases, what home environment each cat should have, etc. We worked with the local humane society and animal control to save as many cats as possible from death row (by running adoption events through animal control for just death row as well as pulling as many animals as we could from death row on their last day to foster and adopt out), did intake and pick up during mobile low cost spay-neuter days in low income neighborhoods (to free up techs to actually work with the animals, so that more could be altered in a single day), helped run the local trap/treat/release for ferals with the object of decreasing kittens while keeping the colony stable so that others didn't move in, etc. We worked with rescues nationally to transfer any recognizable breed into breed-specific rescues and helped the rescue runs that take vans of animals from high-kill areas to states that have lower numbers of animals needing adoption (and therefore more people who can/will adopt). We had all of the non-rescue volunteer fosters drop off drop off litters the night before adoption events, and we spent from 4 am to 10 pm on adoption days working nonstop, all to adopt out as many cats and kittens as we could. We worked with the long-term fosters on socialization (which sometimes involved sitting without moving, even when attacked or sprayed during an intake evaluation), and I still have scars on my arms from immobilizing nearly feral cats for vaccines. My mother and I had to make the decisions about when a cat or kitten had had enough and should be put to sleep, and we continually did fundraising with local businesses with the goal to never put an animal to sleep due to lack of funds for medical care.

My mother's bottle baby was 1 week old when she came into the rescue. We handfed all four in the litter, and three survived (75% survival was amazing, but we were still torn up over the one who died). Two were adopted out easily, but Gwen bonded to my mother and my mother didn't want to let her go. She walked on a leash, took baths with my mother, rode inside her hood on her neck/shoulder, etc. When we moved and transferred all of the long-term fosters, my mother officially adopted Gwen. When my siblings and I were gone, it was just my mother and Gwen. Gwen passed a few years ago, put to sleep for a quieter death when she stopped eating and using the bathroom, after 21 years with my mother. My mother was a mess, just like she was when her brother died when I was a young child. The difference is that she knew she could take days off when her brother died, to help her mother arrange his funeral. She did NOT take time off for Gwen, as the arrangements for a pet are much quicker and easier.

Taking time off after a death has nothing to do with grief. It has everything to do with whether you are the one making arrangements. Presumably, if you spouse, child or parent died, you'll be involved in the funeral process. It's less likely that you'll be directly involved with the planning for a grandparent, grandchild, aunt or uncle, niece or nephew, but most people would want to attend the funeral, even if they're on the other side of the country. Some people attend funerals for all cousins, some only attend for people that they were close to, some don't attend any. However, businesses have to create guidelines for everyone, not decide on each individual basis. Therefore most have bereavement leave either as a generic amount or as a tiered number of days depending on separation (and the presumed likelihood that you'll be involved with the funeral planning). Special cases can still ask for more time, not for grief, but for time to handle the planning.

My grandmother was executor for her grandmother, great-aunt and mother. She needed extra days off from school for to handle the logistics of her grandmother's and great-aunt's funerals, not because she needed to grieve longer. When her son died, she was a basketcase for two days, and my mother handled the necessary preparations, but when her bereavement days were over, she went back to work. She was on autopilot for at least 6 months, in a fog and not understanding, because nobody expects a healthy man in his 20s to go to sleep and never wake up.

I am executor for my grandmother, mother, father, sister and brother. I am crystal clear with my employers (during contract negotiations) about needing 2 weeks off if any of them pass, because I'm out-of-state and would need to be present for some of the arrangements; the likelihood is much higher for my grandmother and sister, but I'm realistic enough to know that things happen. As much as I love animals, I wouldn't need 2 weeks; for a human death I would need two weeks to arrange the funeral, deal with the VA, contact all the relatives, arrange sleeping quarters and transportation for those unable to arrange it themselves, etc.

This comes down to understanding that days off are for dealing with logistics, not grieving. Most people don't get over a death in the day to 2 weeks they have off from a job. Heck, people don't "get over" a death, unless they had little to no attachment to the one who died. But life moves on, and that's what I teach kids, both when their pets die and when their grandparents pass. Feelings are valid, but everyone still has to continue with the rest of their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of you are truly pathetically ridiculous. And it’s embarrassing.

News flash: professionals go to work when a pet dies.

You’re right. You are truly pathetically ridiculous.

Newsflash: professionals also use PTO when their beloved pet dies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I acknowledge that there are people who are not “animal” people - yet they still have a pet.
Maybe they did so for their spouse, or their child.
Then when the pet dies, the person may not be emotionally affected.

On the other hand, there could be a person who lives alone, perhaps has no close family + friends.
Their pet may fill an empty void in their heart.
So when said pet passes away, the individual may grieve deeply.

Each situation is unique along w/the circumstances.
To collectively claim that a person who is too grief-stricken to come into their job should be automatically canned is plain cruel.

Nope. I would definitely say that I'm an animal person.

My mother and I ran the cat portion of a rescue for 3 years, fostering non-lactating adults, older juveniles and pregnant females (temporarily, while we waited for a foster home to open after a lactating mom weaned). We found foster homes for pregnant moms, litters of kittens with lactating moms, and special needs cats. When we had litters come in without the mother, we switched off around the clock to feed the babies and keep them alive. We did intakes for every single cat that came into the rescue, decided on how much work they would need before placement, what to do when there were medical cases, what home environment each cat should have, etc. We worked with the local humane society and animal control to save as many cats as possible from death row (by running adoption events through animal control for just death row as well as pulling as many animals as we could from death row on their last day to foster and adopt out), did intake and pick up during mobile low cost spay-neuter days in low income neighborhoods (to free up techs to actually work with the animals, so that more could be altered in a single day), helped run the local trap/treat/release for ferals with the object of decreasing kittens while keeping the colony stable so that others didn't move in, etc. We worked with rescues nationally to transfer any recognizable breed into breed-specific rescues and helped the rescue runs that take vans of animals from high-kill areas to states that have lower numbers of animals needing adoption (and therefore more people who can/will adopt). We had all of the non-rescue volunteer fosters drop off drop off litters the night before adoption events, and we spent from 4 am to 10 pm on adoption days working nonstop, all to adopt out as many cats and kittens as we could. We worked with the long-term fosters on socialization (which sometimes involved sitting without moving, even when attacked or sprayed during an intake evaluation), and I still have scars on my arms from immobilizing nearly feral cats for vaccines. My mother and I had to make the decisions about when a cat or kitten had had enough and should be put to sleep, and we continually did fundraising with local businesses with the goal to never put an animal to sleep due to lack of funds for medical care.

My mother's bottle baby was 1 week old when she came into the rescue. We handfed all four in the litter, and three survived (75% survival was amazing, but we were still torn up over the one who died). Two were adopted out easily, but Gwen bonded to my mother and my mother didn't want to let her go. She walked on a leash, took baths with my mother, rode inside her hood on her neck/shoulder, etc. When we moved and transferred all of the long-term fosters, my mother officially adopted Gwen. When my siblings and I were gone, it was just my mother and Gwen. Gwen passed a few years ago, put to sleep for a quieter death when she stopped eating and using the bathroom, after 21 years with my mother. My mother was a mess, just like she was when her brother died when I was a young child. The difference is that she knew she could take days off when her brother died, to help her mother arrange his funeral. She did NOT take time off for Gwen, as the arrangements for a pet are much quicker and easier.

Taking time off after a death has nothing to do with grief. It has everything to do with whether you are the one making arrangements. Presumably, if you spouse, child or parent died, you'll be involved in the funeral process. It's less likely that you'll be directly involved with the planning for a grandparent, grandchild, aunt or uncle, niece or nephew, but most people would want to attend the funeral, even if they're on the other side of the country. Some people attend funerals for all cousins, some only attend for people that they were close to, some don't attend any. However, businesses have to create guidelines for everyone, not decide on each individual basis. Therefore most have bereavement leave either as a generic amount or as a tiered number of days depending on separation (and the presumed likelihood that you'll be involved with the funeral planning). Special cases can still ask for more time, not for grief, but for time to handle the planning.

My grandmother was executor for her grandmother, great-aunt and mother. She needed extra days off from school for to handle the logistics of her grandmother's and great-aunt's funerals, not because she needed to grieve longer. When her son died, she was a basketcase for two days, and my mother handled the necessary preparations, but when her bereavement days were over, she went back to work. She was on autopilot for at least 6 months, in a fog and not understanding, because nobody expects a healthy man in his 20s to go to sleep and never wake up.

I am executor for my grandmother, mother, father, sister and brother. I am crystal clear with my employers (during contract negotiations) about needing 2 weeks off if any of them pass, because I'm out-of-state and would need to be present for some of the arrangements; the likelihood is much higher for my grandmother and sister, but I'm realistic enough to know that things happen. As much as I love animals, I wouldn't need 2 weeks; for a human death I would need two weeks to arrange the funeral, deal with the VA, contact all the relatives, arrange sleeping quarters and transportation for those unable to arrange it themselves, etc.

This comes down to understanding that days off are for dealing with logistics, not grieving. Most people don't get over a death in the day to 2 weeks they have off from a job. Heck, people don't "get over" a death, unless they had little to no attachment to the one who died. But life moves on, and that's what I teach kids, both when their pets die and when their grandparents pass. Feelings are valid, but everyone still has to continue with the rest of their lives.

Are you daft in addition to be long winded? Of course life continues, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with someone wanting to take a day or two off for the death of a pet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you are truly pathetically ridiculous. And it’s embarrassing.

News flash: professionals go to work when a pet dies.

You’re right. You are truly pathetically ridiculous.

Newsflash: professionals also use PTO when their beloved pet dies.

Yes, dear, professionals take earned PTO not Bereavement Days!

[Anonymous]

I agree with the OP. Some of the nannies who frequent this forum want the world with no personal responsibility. They want to be treated like professionals but don’t act professionally.

- Get healthcare insurance.
- Get your degree or at least preschool certification to earn more money
- Use your earned PTO for car maintenance, cat deaths, and home services
- Be on time or early every single day
- Show up to work clean, rested and ready for your full shift.

Being a nanny is a great job for those of us who love it and are meant to do it. I earn $30 an hour plus benefits because I’m worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you are truly pathetically ridiculous. And it’s embarrassing.

News flash: professionals go to work when a pet dies.

You’re right. You are truly pathetically ridiculous.

Newsflash: professionals also use PTO when their beloved pet dies.

Yes, dear, professionals take earned PTO not Bereavement Days!

Oh honey, it’s still time off.