I was let go today

[Anonymous]

I hope they will allow you to remain friends with the kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does your contract say? If it says either party must give two months, then I would let them know and if no other check was forthcoming, take them to small claims court. Good luck.

And then she ends up with no reference for a three year job??? Terrible, stupid advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your contract say? If it says either party must give two months, then I would let them know and if no other check was forthcoming, take them to small claims court. Good luck.

And then she ends up with no reference for a three year job??? Terrible, stupid advice.

Go in this order: reference, new job, small claims court.

[Anonymous]

Listen - in the real world - one months severance is excellent for only being somewhere 3 years. Most companies *may* give one week. You can work somewhere for 10 years and not get 4 weeks severance.

As for the short notice, I wouldn't want to let someone go and then have a them, a possibly disgruntled employee, watch my children either. Its just a stressful situation to be in.

I'm sorry the OP lost her job, but I can understand the way it was done. It doesn't sound like they were jerks - it sounds like they were totally nice about it.

OP, if you truly care about the kids and family, take it at face value - they just cannot afford you anymore and they were respectful enough to not ask you to take a pay cut. Maintain the relationship both sides want and get a good reference to find a new job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Listen - in the real world - one months severance is excellent for only being somewhere 3 years. Most companies *may* give one week. You can work somewhere for 10 years and not get 4 weeks severance.

As for the short notice, I wouldn't want to let someone go and then have a them, a possibly disgruntled employee, watch my children either. Its just a stressful situation to be in.

I'm sorry the OP lost her job, but I can understand the way it was done. It doesn't sound like they were jerks - it sounds like they were totally nice about it.

OP, if you truly care about the kids and family, take it at face value - they just cannot afford you anymore and they were respectful enough to not ask you to take a pay cut. Maintain the relationship both sides want and get a good reference to find a new job.

I am in “the real world” and a month severance is bare minimum in most industries and low in the childcare and home healthcare fields. I know I will give our nanny at least two months severance when the time comes.

And no good nanny would ever take out her frustration with an employer on the child. I’m sure all nannies have been disgruntled with their employers at one time or another during their employ.

But I do agree with your advice to keep the relationship friendly and open.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I am wondering if they feel that you are over-involved and want a care provider who has a little more professional detachment.

You sound like an idiot. Find another thread to be rude in. If I have ever been “over involved” it’s due to me having to be because I managed their kids lives for 3 years and had to be while they worked 53 hours a week and traveled around the country for work simultaneously. Sorry I’m not a cold bitch.

Ignore her, OP. She is just bitter and ugly.

I have been a nanny for 12 years. My current job I have been in for 4 years. My first shift with both children was their first night home from the hospital. I work 65-70 hours every week. I am the first face they see 5 mornings a week and I do everything but the last 10 minutes of bedtime. I am responsible for every aspect of their lives to some extent or another. And I love the children deeply and think about them and worry about them over the weekends, but there is a lot in your OP that sounds off to me. You sound kind of territorial and defensive of the importance of your role. If you take these kinds of jobs with semi-absentee parents, you really have to accept deep down in your heart that they are the parents and their role is more important in the long run and it is your job to build that relationship and connection, not to supplant them or judge them. Because at some point the parents will come to resent what feels to them like backseat driving.

I am really sorry that they handled this in such an abrupt way. I know how it feels to leave a nanny family on good terms, so I can only imagine what it must be to leave in an awkward and unprepared way. I am not trying to put you down. It sounds like you were a loving and dedicated carwgiver to these children under trying circumstances.

My point is this: you are about to search for a new family to work with and build an entirely new relationship with a new parent or set of parents. This is a good time to be reflective about what went wrong here. Almost everything is a two-way street. And if you want to be successful and happy as a nanny long-term, you need to always remember that your relationship and care for the parents is just as important as the relationship and care for the children.

You sound like an amazing nanny, but that is just so sad about the parents. Why even have children?

[Anonymous]

How are you, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I am wondering if they feel that you are over-involved and want a care provider who has a little more professional detachment.

Young children need to feel loved by their primary caregiver. “Detachment” is not what a little child needs. Everyone on this forum should learn this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How are you, OP?

Funny, I was thinking about OP too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your contract say? If it says either party must give two months, then I would let them know and if no other check was forthcoming, take them to small claims court. Good luck.

And then she ends up with no reference for a three year job??? Terrible, stupid advice.

If they do this, then she sues them for a lot more than one month's pay. She was let go without cause and her employer has to keep terms of contract. Stop letting people take advantage of you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I am wondering if they feel that you are over-involved and want a care provider who has a little more professional detachment.

Young children need to feel loved by their primary caregiver. “Detachment” is not what a little child needs. Everyone on this forum should learn this.

This is my main concern with this forum. There are some nanny commentors who seem to think nannies are the children's "primary caregivers". That is rarely the case. The parents are the "primary caregivers" and the nanny is the "secondary caregiver".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I am wondering if they feel that you are over-involved and want a care provider who has a little more professional detachment.

Young children need to feel loved by their primary caregiver. “Detachment” is not what a little child needs. Everyone on this forum should learn this.

This is my main concern with this forum. There are some nanny commentors who seem to think nannies are the children's "primary caregivers". That is rarely the case. The parents are the "primary caregivers" and the nanny is the "secondary caregiver".

Perhaps a clear definition would shed some light for you.

The “primary caregiver” is the person who provides care for the majority waking hours per week. Just do the math.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How are you, OP?

Hi OP here I’m great thank you! I’ve seen my former charges 3 times since my last day. I did a date night, after school day/ pick up and went to take the oldest for a little date with me for his birthday over the weekend.

I’m interviewing with a few schools and families and my former employer expressed that if I get something for the first part of the day to let her know if I need hours to supplement my income and they will have me still get them from school here and there and watch them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They gave you $4,000 and will have you a letter of reference. Be glad they are beling so generous. Do noy go, or call, hospital about child having procedure. If they want you to know they would have kept you around. It's a crappy way to let you go, but there is nothing you can do about it.

I did not go to the hospital but the father did send me a picture and called to fill me in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I am wondering if they feel that you are over-involved and want a care provider who has a little more professional detachment.

Young children need to feel loved by their primary caregiver. “Detachment” is not what a little child needs. Everyone on this forum should learn this.

This is my main concern with this forum. There are some nanny commentors who seem to think nannies are the children's "primary caregivers". That is rarely the case. The parents are the "primary caregivers" and the nanny is the "secondary caregiver".

A nanny usually is with children 50-55 (or more) hours per week, for 90 percent of their waking hours. Parents put them to bed, about 4 hours a day and 10-12weekends. 42 hours for parents compared to 50/55 hours for nannies. The time is about even.