Paying for food in travel month?

[Anonymous]

I'm not going to back down on this...sorry. If she'd been gracious and apologetic about the bill I probably would have grabbed her favorites at the store. I personally said "I think we just didn't talk about this before and you are welcome to our pantry and fridge food but I'm not going to buy special items..." and she was SO angry. So..you know...eh. It's fine. 4 weeks of free meals that she doesn't get too 100% choose, a safe and comfortable place to sleep, laundry, phone, etc. and she still wants more? I feel good about putting my foot down.

[Anonymous]

You are being reasonable OP.

Frankly I would not tolerate this or the additional attitude and would maybe ask her to leave earlier. You are not responsible for hosting her any longer than the year you signed up for. Travel month is for travel and if not taking travel, she can go home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are being reasonable OP.

Frankly I would not tolerate this or the additional attitude and would maybe ask her to leave earlier. You are not responsible for hosting her any longer than the year you signed up for. Travel month is for travel and if not taking travel, she can go home.

+100, I will not put out with this either, good news I am learned from this.

[Anonymous]

You are being petty. As hosts, you are ambassadors for your country. People overseas have enough negative things too say about Americans and now you’re the lady who wouldn’t buy her granola. You’re petty and small. It’s really quite sad.

[Anonymous]

*to say

[Anonymous]

Wow. Her response... just wow. I commend you for not kicking her out on the spot, because that would be very tempting for an entitled, spoiled guest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are being petty. As hosts, you are ambassadors for your country. People overseas have enough negative things too say about Americans and now you’re the lady who wouldn’t buy her granola. You’re petty and small. It’s really quite sad.

I assume it will also be fair for the OP to consider all APs from her AP country spoiled ungrateful brats?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are being petty. As hosts, you are ambassadors for your country. People overseas have enough negative things too say about Americans and now you’re the lady who wouldn’t buy her granola. You’re petty and small. It’s really quite sad.

+1
I can’t imagine getting worked up over this, or feeling taken advantage of. I assume you had an ok relationship with her until this, it’s really sad to end on a sour note for $50 of groceries! Think of what you earn v your Au pair- I very much doubt you are effected by $10-15 a week, she might be... it would be nice if she offered to watch the kids here and there but you don’t know if she was going to or not, I’m guessing she would have been fine helping with them but now you’ve made everyone uncomfortable.

I think when life is generally good and you’re happy this isn’t something you’d give this much thought and emotion to, & a teenage girl would have to do a lot more to even be a blip on my radar. Food for thought.

[Anonymous]

Eh, I think given the fact that a lot of families aren't willing to let an AP stay even a few DAYS into the travel month or keep a suitcase in the garage...that it's pretty generous to allow her to stay and willing to let her help herself to food in the house. Asking to be reimbursed for additional groceries is pretty outrageous.

[Anonymous]

It's ridiculous both ways. Yes, she shouldn't have expected extra items. She thought you'd keep your generous offer and she was wrong. It's like being part of the family for 12 months and on the 13th you're not any more. Anyone would be upset.

You should have let it go and not spoil the end of the year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To clarify she is not babysitting because that’s illegal. She is not driving because we took her off our insurance. We are paying her phone (family plan so cheap). I’m going to talk to her. I’m feeling taken advantage of...

Isn't her staying with you when she should be traveling AND her presenting you a bill already bending the rules? I would exchange her room and board babysitting.

[Anonymous]

I had a similar situation with an AP who invited friends from her home country to be her travel companions during her travel month, but after spending $3000 on fancy sneakers, changed her mind at the last minute on the traveling part and assumed we would host both her and her friends for the month. I had to put my foot down because we had no desire to host the girls while welcoming and adjusting to a new, incoming AP. She could not understand why this was an issue, and after a week of her protestations and tears (hers), we came to an agreement that she and her friends could stay for one week, but they had to be out of the house the day the new AP arrived. They eventually booked an airbnb in a much hipper part of town, but all were resentful and annoyed. If one of my other former APs had asked for the same, I might have been happy to oblige because of our closer connection and relationship, but this particular AP was a princess and it was just another example of a long year of entitlement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are being petty. As hosts, you are ambassadors for your country. People overseas have enough negative things too say about Americans and now you’re the lady who wouldn’t buy her granola. You’re petty and small. It’s really quite sad.

Well, you can't even use "too" correctly so I am assuming you're an au pair. It is weird how you all want to come here then, right? Also, I have family all over the world that hosts students, etc., and you better believe they aren't indulging them with hundreds of dollars of special food. Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

A member of my family like a cousin or a sibling wouldn’t present me with a bill for food. The member of the family analogy is off on this one.

Our contract says I provide her with room and board and we have always agreed to pay for a few special items during the year.

Our contract is over. She’s not watching the kids. She’s not getting paid. She’s staying free of charge and eating our food and still wanting more. Now she’s also barely speaking to us but oddly doesn’t seem to want to find someplace else to stay....or maybe her friends’ host families don’t feel like hosting another AP for weeks....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A member of my family like a cousin or a sibling wouldn’t present me with a bill for food. The member of the family analogy is off on this one.

Our contract says I provide her with room and board and we have always agreed to pay for a few special items during the year.

Our contract is over. She’s not watching the kids. She’s not getting paid. She’s staying free of charge and eating our food and still wanting more. Now she’s also barely speaking to us but oddly doesn’t seem to want to find someplace else to stay....or maybe her friends’ host families don’t feel like hosting another AP for weeks....

+1

Good for you for putting your foot down on this. Also, the AP is not so bright if she can't weigh the benefit of free room and board vs. a $12 lunch bill.