Not Bonding with New Nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is so clueless.

You are insane! OP is home with her child ALL WEEK LONG and runs a CHARITY on weekends and needs a nanny for three days a week!

What is wrong with you people? This is a NANNY FORUM. Is there now something suddenly wrong with having a nanny while your work for three days out of seven?

Yes because the dh doesn't seem involved. Very sad. And what sort of non profit has events all weekend long every weekend. Bs.

Well, if OP is in charge of scheduling everything, supervising set up for events, supervising the event, and then making sure everything is cleaned up on time... I could see most weekends taken up by this type of work, depending on the charity's focus. My sister works with an animal rescue, leaves her home around 7 am and sometimes doesn't return until 10 pm on weekends. Of course, my sister is also busy all week online, so she works far more than OP does.

OP, each caregiver in a child's life has a different bond with that child. You know that the bond your child has with you is not the same as he has with his father or the former nanny. He loves his former nanny, and because he continues to see her, she's still in the forefront of his mind instead of being relegated to fond memory. Let the current nanny know about your concern, and ask the former nanny to guide the conversation to current nanny when she next spends time with your son. Unless the former nanny has concerns due to what he shares, I don't see the issue.

[Anonymous]

OP, why have you not answered the question(s) presented to you yet?

Is this current Nanny basically just a sleepover Nanny or does she actually get waking hours with your son?

[Anonymous]

What is your dh doing all weekend? He works and helps you Friday-Sunday? This is such a troll post. Op is probably at home all weekend long micromanaging while her dh golfs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you have a weekend nanny? This is bizarre.

So helpful and positive. OP asked about bonding. Try to focus.

[Anonymous]

I was a weekend nanny for two years and always ran into other weekend nannies! I have no clue why this one poster is being such a weirdo about it.

OP, give it more time with your current nanny. Remember that his former nanny has been in his life from his earliest memory and he has never had anyone leave him before. It is sweet of the former nanny to visit, btw. Anyway, he can now remember a time before his new nanny. Just give it more time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a weekend nanny for two years and always ran into other weekend nannies! I have no clue why this one poster is being such a weirdo about it.

OP, give it more time with your current nanny. Remember that his former nanny has been in his life from his earliest memory and he has never had anyone leave him before. It is sweet of the former nanny to visit, btw. Anyway, he can now remember a time before his new nanny. Just give it more time.

It's not normal to have a weekend nanny when one parent doesn't work on the weekends. It's very selfish but I'm sure op is long gone. She stays with him because he pays the bills and her charity is there to distract her from getting depressed. I know because I've nannied for crazy families like this.

[Anonymous]

The negative responses here are quite disheartening. As a nanny I have learned that there is not one correct way to parent, period. You raise your kids any way you want and choose not to take a position if you don’t agree with the parent’s parenting style. But to insist that you know everything and that you are correct makes you look immature and plain ridiculous. Some high earners, which her husband may be, work long hours. They run this country that you live in. We can’t all work low wage, flexible jobs. Maybe her husband is in the senate floor trying to figure out how to get this govt up and running. You don’t know anything about her life other than the fact that she has the luxury of having a weekend nanny and she is concerned imenough about her child to ask a question. I know a family that had 6 children (too much for my comfort zone, but to each their own) and 3 nannies. Guess what, with two highly successful parents who put their children’s well being and education first, there are now 6 more successful people in this nation. Stop being so damn judgmental! People like OP are the only reason we are able to work in a field that we love.

[Anonymous]

I feel sorry dh and your child. Dh works all week then is dragged to your nonprofit charity events at the weekend. I am sure he would rather be home with his son instead. Judging by your responses to these posts. He is too scared to say no to you. I am sure your son would love to have daddy home on the weekends with him.
The previous nanny should be not be visiting your son as much. So he can get used to the new nanny and bond with her. I am sure its hard ob your nnew nanny when the old one keeps coming by. Its also confusing to your son.
I find these people that run charities are so self centered. Its all about them and people are expected to worship them because they run a nonprofit charity.
Stop being selfish and let hubby stay home on the weekends to have quality time with your sn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry dh and your child. Dh works all week then is dragged to your nonprofit charity events at the weekend. I am sure he would rather be home with his son instead. Judging by your responses to these posts. He is too scared to say no to you. I am sure your son would love to have daddy home on the weekends with him.
The previous nanny should be not be visiting your son as much. So he can get used to the new nanny and bond with her. I am sure its hard ob your nnew nanny when the old one keeps coming by. Its also confusing to your son.
I find these people that run charities are so self centered. Its all about them and people are expected to worship them because they run a nonprofit charity.
Stop being selfish and let hubby stay home on the weekends to have quality time with your sn.

You are deeply troubled, PP, and have some weird bug up your ass about this OP.

[Anonymous]

Ignore the troll with the issues, OP. I agree you should give the new nanny more time. As long as your child enjoys seeing the new nanny and has fun with her - I would not worry about bonding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry dh and your child. Dh works all week then is dragged to your nonprofit charity events at the weekend. I am sure he would rather be home with his son instead. Judging by your responses to these posts. He is too scared to say no to you. I am sure your son would love to have daddy home on the weekends with him.
The previous nanny should be not be visiting your son as much. So he can get used to the new nanny and bond with her. I am sure its hard ob your nnew nanny when the old one keeps coming by. Its also confusing to your son.
I find these people that run charities are so self centered. Its all about them and people are expected to worship them because they run a nonprofit charity.
Stop being selfish and let hubby stay home on the weekends to have quality time with your sn.

+1

He NEEDS bonding time with his dad not a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry dh and your child. Dh works all week then is dragged to your nonprofit charity events at the weekend. I am sure he would rather be home with his son instead. Judging by your responses to these posts. He is too scared to say no to you. I am sure your son would love to have daddy home on the weekends with him.
The previous nanny should be not be visiting your son as much. So he can get used to the new nanny and bond with her. I am sure its hard ob your nnew nanny when the old one keeps coming by. Its also confusing to your son.
I find these people that run charities are so self centered. Its all about them and people are expected to worship them because they run a nonprofit charity.
Stop being selfish and let hubby stay home on the weekends to have quality time with your sn.

+1

He NEEDS bonding time with his dad not a nanny.

You have no clue what the child needs or if the father is home with him and the mother all week. I nannies for a couple that made their money, retired and then had kids.
You two are really angry and overly invested in this particular thread. Look at that.

[Anonymous]

Part of me has observed DCUM enough that I know I shouldn't be shocked by the responses, but some of your responses to the OP are completely uncalled for, rude and uninformed. You know literally nothing about this family other than the mother stays home with her child all throughout the week and then needs a night nanny three evenings/ nights a week. That is way less time away from the child than any mom who works full time (and frankly less time than many SAHMs who do girls' nights out, book clubs, etc. etc.) and it sounds like they have found a family and work schedule that works for them. Maybe they are independently wealthy and the dad works 1/2 days from home or is even retired and that he also gets plenty of time with their child. Maybe he makes it home for dinner every single night (which again is way more than most of the other families on this forum). The point is, this mom came looking for nanny advice on the nanny forum and that is what the responses should be about. Quit making uniformed judgments that make you feel better as a parent. Geez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Part of me has observed DCUM enough that I know I shouldn't be shocked by the responses, but some of your responses to the OP are completely uncalled for, rude and uninformed. You know literally nothing about this family other than the mother stays home with her child all throughout the week and then needs a night nanny three evenings/ nights a week. That is way less time away from the child than any mom who works full time (and frankly less time than many SAHMs who do girls' nights out, book clubs, etc. etc.) and it sounds like they have found a family and work schedule that works for them. Maybe they are independently wealthy and the dad works 1/2 days from home or is even retired and that he also gets plenty of time with their child. Maybe he makes it home for dinner every single night (which again is way more than most of the other families on this forum). The point is, this mom came looking for nanny advice on the nanny forum and that is what the responses should be about. Quit making uniformed judgments that make you feel better as a parent. Geez.

+1

I’m new to the site and seriously cannot believe some of the responses.

[Anonymous]

Spend time with your kids.