How to talk to NF about not using my own money for errands

[Anonymous]

Bottom line:
Parents should NEVER assume the nanny wants to loan you money.

[Anonymous]

I used to deal with this all of the time with my last family. Mb was living separate from dh so asked me to do a lot of extra things. It came to the point where she was asking me to grab milk every week and never reimbursing me. She wouldn't reimburse gas and mileage, and then would completely ignore receipts left out on our communication folder or say she thought her parents left them. Looking back I think she was very aware of what she was doing because they paid me well so she justified it. I just stopped. One day she had written down for me to get milk. I waited until I knew she as in transit home and called and told her I didn't get it so she may want to grab it at the cvs next door. She was pissed. And tried to reprimand me like a child. I told her that she doesn't know what I do with my funds and for all she knows I may need my last 10 for gas or whatever. She attempted it again when we were planning a bday party and had me searching for a particular item. She wrote down that if they have it please purchase it and she will give me cash that evening. I told her the better option would be for her to bring the cash home, give it to me and I'd get it tomorrow. She caught on and backed off. It's completely rude and they are very aware that you are using your own money they just don't prioritize it. I suggested we get a money bag and keep $30 in it every week and I could grab from it and replace it with the receipt. For some reason she said she'd never remember to get cash. Whatever I eventually moved on but still see my charges to babysit. The family I work for now has never asked me to do anything like that and pays more than the irs has rate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It can hurt your credit score if you charge more then 10% of credit limit on your card.

Credit scores reflect your ability to pay off your debt, so the more you charge and pay off immediately, the better it is. I spoke with my bankers, and they recommended using 1-2 cards from each of the major credit card companies, as well as having a short-term loan. I did the loans immediately ($5k signature loan through one bank, $5k line of credit through the other bank), put the $10k in my savings accounts for 2 months while making minimum payments, then paid them both off completely in the 3rd month. Currently, I have 5 credit cards, and by charging everything and paying them all on the same day every month, I always know what I am doing. My score has gone from high 600s to over 750 in 9 months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to deal with this all of the time with my last family. Mb was living separate from dh so asked me to do a lot of extra things. It came to the point where she was asking me to grab milk every week and never reimbursing me. She wouldn't reimburse gas and mileage, and then would completely ignore receipts left out on our communication folder or say she thought her parents left them. Looking back I think she was very aware of what she was doing because they paid me well so she justified it. I just stopped. One day she had written down for me to get milk. I waited until I knew she as in transit home and called and told her I didn't get it so she may want to grab it at the cvs next door. She was pissed. And tried to reprimand me like a child. I told her that she doesn't know what I do with my funds and for all she knows I may need my last 10 for gas or whatever. She attempted it again when we were planning a bday party and had me searching for a particular item. She wrote down that if they have it please purchase it and she will give me cash that evening. I told her the better option would be for her to bring the cash home, give it to me and I'd get it tomorrow. She caught on and backed off. It's completely rude and they are very aware that you are using your own money they just don't prioritize it. I suggested we get a money bag and keep $30 in it every week and I could grab from it and replace it with the receipt. For some reason she said she'd never remember to get cash. Whatever I eventually moved on but still see my charges to babysit. The family I work for now has never asked me to do anything like that and pays more than the irs has rate.

Yikes, that's terrible. There are lots of good ways to reimburse for little requests and this is NOT among them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to deal with this all of the time with my last family. Mb was living separate from dh so asked me to do a lot of extra things. It came to the point where she was asking me to grab milk every week and never reimbursing me. She wouldn't reimburse gas and mileage, and then would completely ignore receipts left out on our communication folder or say she thought her parents left them. Looking back I think she was very aware of what she was doing because they paid me well so she justified it. I just stopped. One day she had written down for me to get milk. I waited until I knew she as in transit home and called and told her I didn't get it so she may want to grab it at the cvs next door. She was pissed. And tried to reprimand me like a child. I told her that she doesn't know what I do with my funds and for all she knows I may need my last 10 for gas or whatever. She attempted it again when we were planning a bday party and had me searching for a particular item. She wrote down that if they have it please purchase it and she will give me cash that evening. I told her the better option would be for her to bring the cash home, give it to me and I'd get it tomorrow. She caught on and backed off. It's completely rude and they are very aware that you are using your own money they just don't prioritize it. I suggested we get a money bag and keep $30 in it every week and I could grab from it and replace it with the receipt. For some reason she said she'd never remember to get cash. Whatever I eventually moved on but still see my charges to babysit. The family I work for now has never asked me to do anything like that and pays more than the irs has rate.

Yikes, that's terrible. There are lots of good ways to reimburse for little requests and this is NOT among them.

What are you referring to? The idea about having petty cash in a money bag and placing the receipts inside or just the general way the mb wanted the nanny to pay for things up front?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to deal with this all of the time with my last family. Mb was living separate from dh so asked me to do a lot of extra things. It came to the point where she was asking me to grab milk every week and never reimbursing me. She wouldn't reimburse gas and mileage, and then would completely ignore receipts left out on our communication folder or say she thought her parents left them. Looking back I think she was very aware of what she was doing because they paid me well so she justified it. I just stopped. One day she had written down for me to get milk. I waited until I knew she as in transit home and called and told her I didn't get it so she may want to grab it at the cvs next door. She was pissed. And tried to reprimand me like a child. I told her that she doesn't know what I do with my funds and for all she knows I may need my last 10 for gas or whatever. She attempted it again when we were planning a bday party and had me searching for a particular item. She wrote down that if they have it please purchase it and she will give me cash that evening. I told her the better option would be for her to bring the cash home, give it to me and I'd get it tomorrow. She caught on and backed off. It's completely rude and they are very aware that you are using your own money they just don't prioritize it. I suggested we get a money bag and keep $30 in it every week and I could grab from it and replace it with the receipt. For some reason she said she'd never remember to get cash. Whatever I eventually moved on but still see my charges to babysit. The family I work for now has never asked me to do anything like that and pays more than the irs has rate.

Yikes, that's terrible. There are lots of good ways to reimburse for little requests and this is NOT among them.

What are you referring to? The idea about having petty cash in a money bag and placing the receipts inside or just the general way the mb wanted the nanny to pay for things up front?

Not reimbursing!

[Anonymous]

We've had the same nanny for almost six years, and have had a number of systems as our needs changed.

It's important to note that I never have nor would I ever expect our nanny to use her own money and be reimbursed. My feelings about this relate to my own work experience. In my own job, I've been asked to front expenses, save receipts and be reimbursed. Sometimes, it takes awhile for paperwork to be processed and get my reimbursement check. While I can absorb that wait, financially, I don't like it and I don't like the idea of subjecting our nanny to a process I find annoying in my own work life.

Anyway.

When my DD was very young, we had an envelope with cash and our nanny would take what she needed and then leave the receipt in the envelope. I replenished the cash every week. In the beginning, I'd check receipts carefully to have a clear idea of how much money to leave in the envelope.

Then we had a situation where our nanny didn't take enough cash on a particular day and had to use her own cash. She wasn't angry and I immediately reimbursed her, but I brought up the idea that maybe we could find a better system.

So then we went to prepaid cards, which, oddly became more work than was necessary for both of us.

We sat down again and talked about getting her her own credit card, in her name, tied to my account. I kept a separate account I used to pay the cc every month. She chose the card, and because she loves to travel, she wanted one that collected miles. All the miles belong to her. By this time, we both understood what the card would be used for. Every month, I could easily review the purchases. For awhile, I did. Now, years later, I don't. I trust nanny's judgment about purchases and I've never questioned any purchase.

This has worked best for us. Like a PP, there are times I tell our nanny to do something special for herself, like a dinner out or a massage or whatever, and to please use the card. It's an easy way to give a random bonus. Our nanny regularly goes above and beyond and I love having an easy way to thank her.

She has never abused my trust with the cc, or in any other way, so this system is the one we use now and will use going forward, unless she has a problem with it, in which case we will sit down again and work it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll tell you what I do.

I have a separate checking account where our AuPair is an authorized user with a visa card with her name on it tied to the checking account. I automatically deposit $400 into it on the first of the month, this is a standing deposit that goes in automatically. She leaves the receipts in an envelope for me. I can periodically check to make sure charges are correct. This works out very well because then I never have to worry about getting her money or paying her back.

Sometimes for a job well done, or if the kids are realy assholes one week I tell her to use the card to get her nails or toes done on me ( she's really into her nails).

Example of some who is respectful. This is the right thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll tell you what I do.

I have a separate checking account where our AuPair is an authorized user with a visa card with her name on it tied to the checking account. I automatically deposit $400 into it on the first of the month, this is a standing deposit that goes in automatically. She leaves the receipts in an envelope for me. I can periodically check to make sure charges are correct. This works out very well because then I never have to worry about getting her money or paying her back.

Sometimes for a job well done, or if the kids are realy assholes one week I tell her to use the card to get her nails or toes done on me ( she's really into her nails).

Example of some who is respectful. This is the right thing to do.

Pp, is the Visa card a credit or debit card?

[Anonymous]

I had a family once who did the same thing...I remember once it was $700 to be reimbursed! I didn't own a credit card and came directly from checking account. I hated it! Since then I always request prepaid/credit card and haven't had a problem sine!

[Anonymous]

Talk to them?He'll no! You make this clear from the beginning--you do not front money for them for any reason!