How to talk to NF about not using my own money for errands
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Anonymous
| Hi all - been with NF for about 1.5 years now. I do a lot of driving and errands for the family since the kids are older and am really getting tired of having to use my money upfront to run these errands and then be reimbursed. I've talked to MB before about this and she was going to get a prepaid credit card, but it was too much work for her to register her and required too much personal information. So a few times (especially when she is out of town) she has purchased a prepaid gift card for me to use, but when I am going grocery shopping, or picking up takeout dinner for the family, the card runs out in a week or so, and then she never seems to remember to get another one. Sometimes she will give me cash beforehand, but a lot of times she won't give me enough to cover the errand, or ask me to do something while already out with the kids. I would say 75% of the time I end up charging these items to my credit card, which I don't like doing! It's not that I don't have the money (plenty saved) and I keep very good records, and am always reimbursed with my weekly check, but I just don't feel that I should have to use my money for their stuff! I really want to suggest that she get me a credit card that I could use for job related purchases, but I don't know how receptive she would be to that. Would that be out of line to request? What else can I do? |
Anonymous
| Im the opposite. I LOVE charging stuff to my card for NF because I rack up points that way. I pay the card off biweekly so thats not really an issue so its a win/win to me. |
Anonymous
| It's not out of line to request that. Do it. |
Anonymous
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This is another example of nanny abuse, unless there's been a prior agreement allowing such an arrangement.
OP, send both parents an email this morning stating, "While I am happy to help with making purchases, I can do so only if I have in hand funds from you to do so, as per our prior discussion. Effective Monday, February 1, I am unable to use my own money/credit cards for payment." If you email them this morning, they'll have time today to get ATM cash if they need to. If they fail to provide funds for expected purchases, email or text them asking where they left an envelope to use for payment. It's important to have documented communication about this sort of thing. Your success depends on your strength to follow through with what you have told them. If you continue to allow them to ignore your requests, well you know what... They'll continue to take advantage of your generosity. It's actually very important for children to see adults establish and maintain healthy boundaries. Otherwise, what are they learning? |
Anonymous
This. Personally I would get a separate card in my own name with a nice points program and only use it for their stuff to keep stuff clean and separate. If you ever take Amtrak their points are pretty great as is their sign up bonus. |
Anonymous
FYI, This thread is NOT about nannies who have PRIOR NF agreements to get points on their credit cards. Don't be silly. |
Anonymous
I use my Wells Fargo card for NF stuff, that way it's separate. But I agree, the Amtrak card is good too 
I'm open to a variety of ways to pay for things for my NF. As long as I know what the limit is per week or month, what is allowed and what isn't, I don't have an issue. I've worked with cash in an envelope (not my favorite, especially not with over $1K in it!), reimbursement when I use a card (I always ask for a duplicate receipt, so that both my NF and I have a copy), and a prepaid card (store gift card and VISA both). Most families don't care if the nanny gets points from using her card, and I prefer to use credit cards so that I know that if my card (or number) is stolen, I'm not liable for anything the thief does. I've had the cash envelope stolen, and while the NF was furious, they also understood that it wasn't my fault. |
Anonymous
Submitted too soon. If MB said that other arrangements would be made and OP wouldn't have to pay out of pocket and be reimbursed later, they need to live up to what they said. |
Anonymous
| This sounds like it is not a very high priority for your MB. I think that you have two options, you can make it a higher priority for her, or you can ask DB. If you are just casually mentioning this on the way out the door, it's probably on the list somewhere between "buy a present for Allison's birthday party" and "get more diet coke." If you want to move this way up on MB's priority list, request to have a few quiet minutes to chat sometime this week. If you ask on Monday, plan it Tuesday or. Wednesday. Then tell your MB that this is a very serious issue for you, and you may seek other employment if this doesn't change. |
Anonymous
Okay but just propose it now. It's really not a huge deal unless you don't say anything and keep letting resentment mount. Just get a new CC in your name for their stuff, and tell them that's what you're doing. Easily resolved and beneficial to both sides. |
Anonymous
| Can't believe you've been working with them for so long and they still don't trust you. |
Anonymous
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No matter how much money you have in the bank OP, you should NEVER have to upfront your own money on-the-job even if you do get fully reimbursed for it later on.
I would be frustrated as well. I think your boss means well, but finds the status quo works best for her. Unfortunately not for you. 
It is entirely up to her to make sure that you are paid prior to running your errands. None of us nannies can disagree with you there. Have a talk with her and tell her that having to purchase things before being compensated has been a bit of a hardship on you and that it is really important to you to have enough ahead of running your errands. Once you speak up about this issue, I think your MB will see how important this is to you and get right on it ASAP. Good luck! |
Anonymous
Every single job, corporate or otherwise, I've ever had expected me to seek reimbursement. |
Anonymous
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Tell her you're no longer carrying cash or cards on your person (tell her you're trying to stick to a budget if she asks why.) Then don't get the items. Personally, this doesn't bother me. At all, if they're reliable about reimbursement.
To the PP who had the money envelope stolen, how on earth did that happen? When I've worked with the envelope system, the envelope never left the house. If I had to run an errand, I took out the amount I guessed I'd need and left the remainder at home. |
Anonymous
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