Is it disrespectful to ask your nanny...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always take my child to her appointments and usually give our nanny time off and have her meet us at home after the appointment. On the rare occasion I need our nanny to meet me at an appointment, she knows she can wait in the waiting room with a book or her phone or whatever...or take a walk and get coffee and come back. There is no reason to have her in the exam room and she knows if she has observations or concerns she wishes me to share with the Dr, she tells me directly and in detail.

How long have you had her, and for how many hours a week?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why didn't you want her to be there with your child?

OP?

...in the examining room.

OP here. No reason beyond that I didn't need her there.

Honestly, OP? Are you sure it isn't because your DC wanted her nanny to hold her in the examining room or that the nanny could answer a question the doctor asked when you couldn't?

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:... to wait in the waiting room while you take your child into the doctor's examining room? Sometimes I need the nanny with us for appointments and other times I don't but I sensed that she was insulted when I tell her she doesn't need to come in with us.

Yes, I would be insulted. If I were your nanny I would insist you take your child to all her doctors appointments alone from now on and leave me to get other work done for my charge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nannies that would be offended or that want to go in the exam room , why do you want to go in the exam room and not wait in the waiting room ?

If I'm the primary caregiver, most pediatricians would want me there.

+1 I'm a nanny who has correctly diagnosed strep throat twice before we ever got to the doctors office. I also knew my charge had autism, even after her regular pediatrician said (after spending all of 15 minutes with her) that she was fine and would "catch up".

As a 24 hr / 7 nanny who has gone to apps without the parents because they travel internationally extensively and can be gone upwards of 2 months at a time. The pediatrician clearly doesn't want me there. Won't listen to me and kind of treats me like I'm invisible. When mb is home I am so relieved I can be in the waiting room with the other kiddos. Well visits are scheduled for all 3 the same day when she will be in town. But when they are sick I take all 3 on my own and I am treated like I'm not there.

Wow, you should convince your employers to change pediatricians. Not only because this is disrespectful as hell, but because it is also dangerous. A physician who doesn't listen to the caregiver (especially one with as much time/responsibility for the kids as you have!) is not a good physician. S/he could miss important symptoms or issues! I take my charge to the doctor by myself and with the mother, and the doctor always listens to both of us, speaks to both of us, and my MB looks to me to make sure I agree with her answers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the nanny isn't going to go into the examining room with you, OP, why did you need her to come with you at all?

I'm not the OP, but I've left work to meet the kids and nanny at the dr's office. That's why my nanny shows up there. But she's not coming into the exam room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the nanny isn't going to go into the examining room with you, OP, why did you need her to come with you at all?

I'm not the OP, but I've left work to meet the kids and nanny at the dr's office. That's why my nanny shows up there. But she's not coming into the exam room.

This sort of makes sense, but I don't understand why you wouldn't want her there. I'm a WAH MB, and I often wish I had thought to ask the nanny some of the questions the doctors ask me, because she's in a better position to know.

[Anonymous]

I've had to have my nanny meet up with me at the kid's ped office in the middle of the work day - it means taking a 1.5 hr break in the middle of the work day instead of taking half the day off to drive home, pick up kid, drive to ped office, then drop kid back off, then get myself back to work.

Well, anyway - once we met up, I thanked her, gave her money for a latte and recommended a place around the corner. She seemed stoked. I don't think there's anything too exciting that she's missing out on in the ped office. If my kid had come down with some odd symptoms and I wanted nanny there to describe what she's witnessed, then sure - but otherwise, why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've had to have my nanny meet up with me at the kid's ped office in the middle of the work day - it means taking a 1.5 hr break in the middle of the work day instead of taking half the day off to drive home, pick up kid, drive to ped office, then drop kid back off, then get myself back to work.

Well, anyway - once we met up, I thanked her, gave her money for a latte and recommended a place around the corner. She seemed stoked. I don't think there's anything too exciting that she's missing out on in the ped office. If my kid had come down with some odd symptoms and I wanted nanny there to describe what she's witnessed, then sure - but otherwise, why?

Here is the difference - you didn't leave your nanny in the pediatrician's waiting room but instead insisted she get coffee. No one should be commanded to waiting in a pediatrician's waiting room like OP commanded her nanny to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the nanny isn't going to go into the examining room with you, OP, why did you need her to come with you at all?

I'm not the OP, but I've left work to meet the kids and nanny at the dr's office. That's why my nanny shows up there. But she's not coming into the exam room.

This sort of makes sense, but I don't understand why you wouldn't want her there. I'm a WAH MB, and I often wish I had thought to ask the nanny some of the questions the doctors ask me, because she's in a better position to know.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had to have my nanny meet up with me at the kid's ped office in the middle of the work day - it means taking a 1.5 hr break in the middle of the work day instead of taking half the day off to drive home, pick up kid, drive to ped office, then drop kid back off, then get myself back to work.

Well, anyway - once we met up, I thanked her, gave her money for a latte and recommended a place around the corner. She seemed stoked. I don't think there's anything too exciting that she's missing out on in the ped office. If my kid had come down with some odd symptoms and I wanted nanny there to describe what she's witnessed, then sure - but otherwise, why?

Here is the difference - you didn't leave your nanny in the pediatrician's waiting room but instead insisted she get coffee. No one should be commanded to waiting in a pediatrician's waiting room like OP commanded her nanny to do.

Okay, I see your point. I kinda felt bad making them trek across town to meet me for this, so I was trying to give the lady a break after dealing with the hassle of parking in downtown and schlepping the baby too. We normally do ped visits on Saturdays because it's just easier in every way, but this one time I had to get something done last minute for camp paperwork. If the kid had been sick, was going to be diagnosed, and the Dr was going to prescribe the course of treatment - then I can see why the nanny would want to be there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the nanny isn't going to go into the examining room with you, OP, why did you need her to come with you at all?

I'm not the OP, but I've left work to meet the kids and nanny at the dr's office. That's why my nanny shows up there. But she's not coming into the exam room.

Nanny here whose MB schedules well visits late in the day, meets me at the pediatricians office, takes the kids and the diaper bag, and tells me I can head for my house and enjoy my evening. I would gladly go in with her, but she prefers to do it herself. I tend to do all sick visits, so if I have a question for the doctors I can ask it then.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here. I've done part-time, full-time and 24/7. I have scheduled every single medical appointment (ped, family doctor, optometrist, dentist, oral surgeon, oncologist)and only twice has a parent attended any appointment (both times it was the oncologist, once for biopsy, once for result). Every other time, I have taken the kids, and it didn't matter if it was 1 children or 5. The parents know that I spend more time with their children than they do, I notice small things faster, and am more likely to know what the issue is or might be. Yes, the parents love their kids, but on the other hand, it makes more sense to all of us if the primary caregiver is the one is the room with the doctor. The only serious issue was a possible cancer diagnosis, and MB and DB both made sure that they were there to support their child, and make the long-term medical decisions, if required.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always take my child to her appointments and usually give our nanny time off and have her meet us at home after the appointment. On the rare occasion I need our nanny to meet me at an appointment, she knows she can wait in the waiting room with a book or her phone or whatever...or take a walk and get coffee and come back. There is no reason to have her in the exam room and she knows if she has observations or concerns she wishes me to share with the Dr, she tells me directly and in detail.

This, just give her a break, even if it is waiting at the house.

[Anonymous]

To answer your question, OP, yes - it is indeed disrespectful to make your nanny wait for you and your child in a pediatrician's waiting room. Especially since you admitted that you need her to carry your child like a damn pack mule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To answer your question, OP, yes - it is indeed disrespectful to make your nanny wait for you and your child in a pediatrician's waiting room. Especially since you admitted that you need her to carry your child like a damn pack mule.

+1 If you sensed your nanny was insulted it is because she was.