Is it disrespectful to ask your nanny...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nannies that would be offended or that want to go in the exam room , why do you want to go in the exam room and not wait in the waiting room ?

As a nanny, if I am not needed I would much rather be at my employers home doing things I cannot easily do when my charge is there. Why would anyone want me just to sit in the waiting room? If I cannot be of assistance in the examining room than let me stay at your home at get other work done.

I would feel like a lump on a log sitting in a pediatrician's waiting room with no child!

Do you always assume worst? My nanny brings kid to doc and my husband and myself meet here there. It's a tiny exam room and we are already 2 ppl so she waits outside. She takes child back home and we go back to work. Really no one cares why someone is sitting in a waiting room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why didn't you want her to be there with your child?

OP?

...in the examining room.

OP here. No reason beyond that I didn't need her there.

You are incapable of taking your child by yourself because he might fall asleep, but you don't need, or want, nanny in examination room. You are a nut case.

[Anonymous]

Pp here the few times when my DH couldn't make it I can't remember whether my nanny came in or not. Maybe she did once but she doesn't give an attitude either way.

[Anonymous]

MB here with many years of experience and a few nannies. I had all possible combinations probably over the years (nanny stays alone in a house, nanny meets us at ped office and comes to exam room, or stays in the waiting room, or has a break, or leaves early for the day all together). So yes, on occasion I think I asked nanny to wait in the waiting area as the room was tiny, and I thought it will last like 5 minutes. And no nanny ever complained or showed that they diassproved of that request. I also had my father wait many times in the same waiting room on other occasions when I needed his help with driving.

PPs who say it is insulting to wait in a doctors waiting room, could you please elaborate why? I can't count how many times I drove a friend or relative to a doctor's office because they could not drive due to medical condition and I waited in the waiting room. I had 4 surgeries after which I couldn't drive and a relative would take me to appointments and stay in the waiting area... Including pediatrician visits with my kids... There are always adults in our ped office sitting in the waiting area, WAITING for someone -- what's insulting or wrong with that? When I was pregnant with #3, I was not allowed to lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk for like 3 months, so yeah, I needed help with carring things for a toddler and a preschooler around including visits to ped, and no I did not explain this to the nanny 'cause I was so afraid to lose that pregnancy I did not announce it till I was like 5 months along...

So again, a question is why is it insulting to sit for 5-15 minutes in pediatrician waiting room reading a magazine, book or playing on a phone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB here with many years of experience and a few nannies. I had all possible combinations probably over the years (nanny stays alone in a house, nanny meets us at ped office and comes to exam room, or stays in the waiting room, or has a break, or leaves early for the day all together). So yes, on occasion I think I asked nanny to wait in the waiting area as the room was tiny, and I thought it will last like 5 minutes. And no nanny ever complained or showed that they diassproved of that request. I also had my father wait many times in the same waiting room on other occasions when I needed his help with driving.

PPs who say it is insulting to wait in a doctors waiting room, could you please elaborate why? I can't count how many times I drove a friend or relative to a doctor's office because they could not drive due to medical condition and I waited in the waiting room. I had 4 surgeries after which I couldn't drive and a relative would take me to appointments and stay in the waiting area... Including pediatrician visits with my kids... There are always adults in our ped office sitting in the waiting area, WAITING for someone -- what's insulting or wrong with that? When I was pregnant with #3, I was not allowed to lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk for like 3 months, so yeah, I needed help with carring things for a toddler and a preschooler around including visits to ped, and no I did not explain this to the nanny 'cause I was so afraid to lose that pregnancy I did not announce it till I was like 5 months along...

So again, a question is why is it insulting to sit for 5-15 minutes in pediatrician waiting room reading a magazine, book or playing on a phone?

Do you understand the concept of primary caregiver? That person should be there. Period.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here. Honestly, the negative feelings about being asked to wait outside come from caring for a baby everyday and being made to bring the baby and gear to the doctor's office, but t somehow not being good or important enough to accompany you into the exam room. It's an action that screams "I don't value your role in my child's life. You are just an employee."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. Honestly, the negative feelings about being asked to wait outside come from caring for a baby everyday and being made to bring the baby and gear to the doctor's office, but t somehow not being good or important enough to accompany you into the exam room. It's an action that screams "I don't value your role in my child's life. You are just an employee."[b]

+1 This. Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB here with many years of experience and a few nannies. I had all possible combinations probably over the years (nanny stays alone in a house, nanny meets us at ped office and comes to exam room, or stays in the waiting room, or has a break, or leaves early for the day all together). So yes, on occasion I think I asked nanny to wait in the waiting area as the room was tiny, and I thought it will last like 5 minutes. And no nanny ever complained or showed that they diassproved of that request. I also had my father wait many times in the same waiting room on other occasions when I needed his help with driving.

PPs who say it is insulting to wait in a doctors waiting room, could you please elaborate why? I can't count how many times I drove a friend or relative to a doctor's office because they could not drive due to medical condition and I waited in the waiting room. I had 4 surgeries after which I couldn't drive and a relative would take me to appointments and stay in the waiting area... Including pediatrician visits with my kids... There are always adults in our ped office sitting in the waiting area, WAITING for someone -- what's insulting or wrong with that? When I was pregnant with #3, I was not allowed to lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk for like 3 months, so yeah, I needed help with carring things for a toddler and a preschooler around including visits to ped, and no I did not explain this to the nanny 'cause I was so afraid to lose that pregnancy I did not announce it till I was like 5 months along...

So again, a question is why is it insulting to sit for 5-15 minutes in pediatrician waiting room reading a magazine, book or playing on a phone?

Because as PP wrote it does scream "I do not value your role in my child's life" and I would also add that it also screams, "You cannot answer any question that the doctor might have".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB here with many years of experience and a few nannies. I had all possible combinations probably over the years (nanny stays alone in a house, nanny meets us at ped office and comes to exam room, or stays in the waiting room, or has a break, or leaves early for the day all together). So yes, on occasion I think I asked nanny to wait in the waiting area as the room was tiny, and I thought it will last like 5 minutes. And no nanny ever complained or showed that they diassproved of that request. I also had my father wait many times in the same waiting room on other occasions when I needed his help with driving.

PPs who say it is insulting to wait in a doctors waiting room, could you please elaborate why? I can't count how many times I drove a friend or relative to a doctor's office because they could not drive due to medical condition and I waited in the waiting room. I had 4 surgeries after which I couldn't drive and a relative would take me to appointments and stay in the waiting area... Including pediatrician visits with my kids... There are always adults in our ped office sitting in the waiting area, WAITING for someone -- what's insulting or wrong with that? When I was pregnant with #3, I was not allowed to lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk for like 3 months, so yeah, I needed help with carring things for a toddler and a preschooler around including visits to ped, and no I did not explain this to the nanny 'cause I was so afraid to lose that pregnancy I did not announce it till I was like 5 months along...

So again, a question is why is it insulting to sit for 5-15 minutes in pediatrician waiting room reading a magazine, book or playing on a phone?

Because as PP wrote it does scream "I do not value your role in my child's life" and I would also add that it also screams, "You cannot answer any question that the doctor might have".


And lucky, lucky you to have a pediatrician who gets you in and out in 5 to 15 minutes! Our length of an appointment is never less than 30 minutes, most of that time is waiting for the pediatrician to enter the exam room. Who is your pediatrician, PP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always take my child to her appointments and usually give our nanny time off and have her meet us at home after the appointment. On the rare occasion I need our nanny to meet me at an appointment, she knows she can wait in the waiting room with a book or her phone or whatever...or take a walk and get coffee and come back. There is no reason to have her in the exam room and she knows if she has observations or concerns she wishes me to share with the Dr, she tells me directly and in detail.

How long have you had her, and for how many hours a week?

Five years. Her schedule has varied over the years. Why do you think that's pertinent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB here with many years of experience and a few nannies. I had all possible combinations probably over the years (nanny stays alone in a house, nanny meets us at ped office and comes to exam room, or stays in the waiting room, or has a break, or leaves early for the day all together). So yes, on occasion I think I asked nanny to wait in the waiting area as the room was tiny, and I thought it will last like 5 minutes. And no nanny ever complained or showed that they diassproved of that request. I also had my father wait many times in the same waiting room on other occasions when I needed his help with driving.

PPs who say it is insulting to wait in a doctors waiting room, could you please elaborate why? I can't count how many times I drove a friend or relative to a doctor's office because they could not drive due to medical condition and I waited in the waiting room. I had 4 surgeries after which I couldn't drive and a relative would take me to appointments and stay in the waiting area... Including pediatrician visits with my kids... There are always adults in our ped office sitting in the waiting area, WAITING for someone -- what's insulting or wrong with that? When I was pregnant with #3, I was not allowed to lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk for like 3 months, so yeah, I needed help with carring things for a toddler and a preschooler around including visits to ped, and no I did not explain this to the nanny 'cause I was so afraid to lose that pregnancy I did not announce it till I was like 5 months along...

So again, a question is why is it insulting to sit for 5-15 minutes in pediatrician waiting room reading a magazine, book or playing on a phone?

It is insulting because your child's nanny is not some random friend driving you to a medical appointment - this is the person who is caring for the health and welfare of your child, often a child with limited communication skills, for 50 hours a week. Your nanny wants to know the signs of illness, can shed light on what is or is not normal behavior in the child and probably has a great insight into your child's health and behavior. Thus the difference in your friend-driving-you-to-the-doctors scenario.

No one wants to sit in a doctor's waiting room - especially a pediatrician's waiting room regardless of the reasons. As a PP pointed out, it is basically telling the nanny that their knowledge or input regarding the child in their care is not important. I am a nanny who wants to know what is going on with my charge first hand from the pediatrician.

I would be insulted if my MB ever relegated me to the waiting room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:... to wait in the waiting room while you take your child into the doctor's examining room? Sometimes I need the nanny with us for appointments and other times I don't but I sensed that she was insulted when I tell her she doesn't need to come in with us.

Did you actually say, "You don't need to come in with us" ?

Yes, of course, she was insulted!

[Anonymous]

OP, you know that it is disrespectful or you wouldn't be posting, hoping, that you can justify you arrogant dismissal of your namny that she is "the Help" and her presence is that of your inferior. I hope she finds another position where she is valued as a fellow human being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you know that it is disrespectful or you wouldn't be posting, hoping, that you can justify you arrogant dismissal of your namny that she is "the Help" and her presence is that of your inferior. I hope she finds another position where she is valued as a fellow human being.

+1 And valued as the person who cares day in and day out for your child. Telling her "you don't need to come in with us" is beyond insulting.

[Anonymous]

I'm a nanny and really wouldn't care about this. for the PPs complaining about MBs and saying we are really the child's primary caregiver - how many daycare providers go to the ped? teachers? sure I'm with my charges for more of the week than parents (I work 55 hrs/week) but I really do not care when my MB needs an extra hand but doesn't need me to come in for a well visit. I tell my MB and DB what is going on when the child is sick so they can relay that to the dr. there isn't anything super pertinent or unique that the dr needs to know that I haven't already told my MB and DB