Au pair- 6 year old touched her private part

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your au pair sounds very immature.

FWIW, my 6 year old grabbed my friend's au pair's breast (and never my au pair or mine for that matter.) It was totally innocent. He was curious because she's very well endowed but had no idea it was off-limits and has no concept of it being something sexual. We just told him that it's a private part and not to do that again, and when we was out of earshot we all laughed. I apologized to my friend's au pair who just sort of smirked and shrugged and laughed herself.

I should add that my son is developmentally delayed so other 6 year olds might be more aware than him. However, I SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY doubt that your 6 year old had any concept that breasts are sexy or of what sexy means. Also, when my twins were about 5 1/2 their pediatrician told me "they are probably going to start checking each other out at about this age. It's totally innocent curiosity and don't let it freak you out if it happens, just explain that those are private." That should give you a reference point.

[Anonymous]

You all keep focussing on the kid and that's the problem. If your friend/daughter/mother told you she'd been violated in a way that upset her, would you call her immature and expect her to just get over it? Yes he's a child and he made a mistake, but her response to it really shouldn't be up for judgement. If she won't be able to move on quickly, rematch, but don't blame her. Your son did this, not her. There are consequences to your actions, whether you intended them or not, and he should learn that too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You all keep focussing on the kid and that's the problem. If your friend/daughter/mother told you she'd been violated in a way that upset her, would you call her immature and expect her to just get over it? Yes he's a child and he made a mistake, but her response to it really shouldn't be up for judgement. If she won't be able to move on quickly, rematch, but don't blame her. Your son did this, not her. There are consequences to your actions, whether you intended them or not, and he should learn that too.

Im not calling her immature-I am just wondering what I can do...I keep talking to her, asking what she thinks, but she is waiting to see how I punish him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all keep focussing on the kid and that's the problem. If your friend/daughter/mother told you she'd been violated in a way that upset her, would you call her immature and expect her to just get over it? Yes he's a child and he made a mistake, but her response to it really shouldn't be up for judgement. If she won't be able to move on quickly, rematch, but don't blame her. Your son did this, not her. There are consequences to your actions, whether you intended them or not, and he should learn that too.

Im not calling her immature-I am just wondering what I can do...I keep talking to her, asking what she thinks, but she is waiting to see how I punish him.

I didn't mean you OP. She's been called immature on this thread. There may not be anything more that you can do. Support her, don't blame her, but obviously if she can't figure out how to move past it, rematch is the best answer. Did you have him apologize?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all keep focussing on the kid and that's the problem. If your friend/daughter/mother told you she'd been violated in a way that upset her, would you call her immature and expect her to just get over it? Yes he's a child and he made a mistake, but her response to it really shouldn't be up for judgement. If she won't be able to move on quickly, rematch, but don't blame her. Your son did this, not her. There are consequences to your actions, whether you intended them or not, and he should learn that too.

Im not calling her immature-I am just wondering what I can do...I keep talking to her, asking what she thinks, but she is waiting to see how I punish him.

I didn't mean you OP. She's been called immature on this thread. There may not be anything more that you can do. Support her, don't blame her, but obviously if she can't figure out how to move past it, rematch is the best answer. Did you have him apologize?

Yes- and I have talked to him about it to the point where I am afraid it is too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your au pair sounds very immature.

FWIW, my 6 year old grabbed my friend's au pair's breast (and never my au pair or mine for that matter.) It was totally innocent. He was curious because she's very well endowed but had no idea it was off-limits and has no concept of it being something sexual. We just told him that it's a private part and not to do that again, and when we was out of earshot we all laughed. I apologized to my friend's au pair who just sort of smirked and shrugged and laughed herself.

I would have slapped him into the middle of n
Next week if he had grabbed my well endowed boob.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The agency should drop you. OP, this is a serious matter and you need to treat it as serious, not a " boys will be boys" incident.

I am not- and what would you suggest is a correct punishment?

Clearly this poster has no idea of typical child behavior at this age. It is not boys will be boys. My 6 year old daughter is obsessed with boobs. It is not a boy thing

I wouldn't blame the ap but she clearly doesn't understand what she is doing.

What kind of punishment does she want you to give.

This would raise very serious rd flags to me about your ap abilities and relationship with your son. It is rather bizarre actually. Your sons actions were not sexual. All this discussing and punishment is going to make it worse. Experts say to ignore it.

[Anonymous]

By ignore I mean one clear discussion re not to do it again is appropriate. But not more. You can't promise your ap it won't happen again. How is she going to react.

[Anonymous]

I completely agree with the above poster. I'm not sure what else your AP wants you to do. I feel that you addressed the situation and talked to him. The AP will have to decide if she wants to stay or rematch as will you. Give her a day or two and see what she wants to do.

[Anonymous]

I have two boys and they never touched the genetials or breasts of any woman. This is not normal behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two boys and they never touched the genetials or breasts of any woman. This is not normal behavior.

Comments like this don't really add anything to the discussion. Your two kids probably never peed in their beds past three years old either, but lots of healthy and normal 6 and 7 year olds do. Just because your N of 2 didn't turn something up, doesn't mean it's not "normal." And any basic scan of related materials from both doctors and psychologists will tell you that this may not be common for a six year old, but it's certainly not outside the bounds of "normal."

[Anonymous]

I didn't read the entire thread as most seemed to be troll posts but seriously, how upset can an adult get over childish play like this? The kid is 6 years old and it's a meaningless game to get a rise out of adults (clearly effective). I think your au pair way over reacted, but you can't control other's reactions. Apologize, and move on and don't dwell. If she cannot move on, clearly you need to and go into rematch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two boys and they never touched the genetials or breasts of any woman. This is not normal behavior.

Then you must not have breast fed as I have 3 boys and 1 girl and they all play around talking about their privates. It's normal behavior as I am also a physician. Clearly, you cannot even spell "genitals" so it does not surprise me in the slightest that you would know normal behavior of children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two boys and they never touched the genetials or breasts of any woman. This is not normal behavior.

Then you must not have breast fed as I have 3 boys and 1 girl and they all play around talking about their privates. It's normal behavior as I am also a physician. Clearly, you cannot even spell "genitals" so it does not surprise me in the slightest that you would know normal behavior of children.

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[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The agency should drop you. OP, this is a serious matter and you need to treat it as serious, not a " boys will be boys" incident.

I am not- and what would you suggest is a correct punishment?

Clearly this poster has no idea of typical child behavior at this age. It is not boys will be boys. My 6 year old daughter is obsessed with boobs. It is not a boy thing

I wouldn't blame the ap but she clearly doesn't understand what she is doing.

What kind of punishment does she want you to give.

This would raise very serious rd flags to me about your ap abilities and relationship with your son. It is rather bizarre actually. Your sons actions were not sexual. All this discussing and punishment is going to make it worse. Experts say to ignore it.

DITTO