Nanny too close?
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Anonymous
| I hope you come back and tell us how this goes. Best wishes. |
Anonymous
| Thanks, I certainly will. I'm going to have a discussion tomorrow and keep a very close eye on things for the next couple weeks. |
Anonymous
| On the off chance you get a notification for this reply. I’m curious how ending the relationship went? We had a nanny that was very similar and we are struggling with her not getting the message now that the job has ended. It’s like a breakup that doesn’t want to accept it. Any thoughts? |
Anonymous
I’m not the OP and never had issues with our former nanny crossing the line and disregarding our wishes but I love that my son’s former nanny is still very much in his life. She was his nanny from birth to three. He’s seven now and pre-covid they saw each other every week (nanny never charges for babysitting since leaving) Now they FaceTime. It was an employee-employer relationship for nanny and me but very much a real and loving relationship for nanny and DS. I’ve always respected it and honored it. |
Anonymous
| Posting pics of your child on social media without your permission (I wouldn't even do it with permission) is strictly forbidden. That is nanny 101 class. Otherwise I feel kind of sad because I worked for a family several years ago and felt kind of the same way about those children (and their parents for what it's worth). In my mind the sun set and rose on those children. That being said I always followed the parent's directions. I still see them and still love them very much but OP's post made me wonder if I was too close and maybe still am. It's very hard not to love someone. |
Anonymous
| She probably wants a child and just fills that void with your child. I would ABSOLUTELY NOT allow the boyfriend to be around your daughter and definitely not both of them having her on the weekend. And, no posting photos on fbook. That is a huge NO!! |
Anonymous
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The “borrowing” with the boyfriend is a HUGE red flag. Everything about this situation just gives me the creeps as a mom.
I hope you have put firm boundaries in place or have moved on to another caregiver. Is your child verbal enough to tell you if something inappropriate has happened? I would start asking questions ASAP. |
Anonymous
The OP is from 2014. |
Anonymous
| I did get some very weird vibes as you described your nanny. It sounds like she has either forgotten or completely disrespects you. It is time for a new nanny. BTW, I have never been a nanny nor have I ever been a Mom, but I volunteered for decades in children's ministry, loving my charges. I am 63 and have always loved children and babysat starting at age 12 for 50 cents an hour. As an young adult and well into my 20's, I would get calls begging for me to house sit their children for weekends and drive them to and from. I loved the children and families that I worked for. They will always be in my heart, but that is where it stops. Terminate the relationship with your creepy nanny now |
Anonymous
| We may never know how this played out over the past 7 years. Everybody is probably in a very different place now. |
Anonymous
^^Yes, so very true but it would have been awesome if the OP had provided an update on how things eventually went. 
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Anonymous
| You |
Anonymous
| You guys are so drmatic. God forbid your nanny love your kid which is what she was hired to do. This is why I left the industry bc the parents always ruin it. |
Anonymous
| Nanny here and I have to say is a bit much. I care for, love and adore all the kids I've cared for over the years but there are boundaries. I am guilty of buying gifts, treats with my own money for the kids but never without the parents consent and that's once in a while. This sounds like a lifetime movie and disaster waiting to happen. Please have a discussion with her and don't be afraid to be assertive. This is your child and there has to be a professional line that she shouldn't be allowed to cross. I wish you well!! |
Anonymous
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As a Nanny, it is a different dynamic since caring for an actual PERSON is involved vs. other forms of employment.
For some - it is not easy where to draw the proverbial line…..sometimes on both ends. Your Nanny is a little much however as a Single Mother who raised children w/no family or Father >> this would have been great for my children so yes, my opinion may be biased. Lol. When you consider the alternative it is best to have a caregiver who cares too much vs. not at all. I would have a direct conversation w/your Nanny, letting her know that you trust her & are grateful she cares so much for your daughter. That you feel truly blessed to have your daughter cared for by someone who genuinely loves your child as well as loves what she does. However address the specific things that she is doing that while generous on the part of the Nanny, are just not necessary in your daughter’s life. Try to be as diplomatic as possible. Hopefully your Nanny will understand + take heed. Because it is not easy to find someone you can trust 100% to care for your precious loved one. It is something one must ever take for granted. However if your Nanny’s reaction is one of offense, etc. then you may have to accept that the status quo dynamic is just not working for you and you may have to let your Nanny go. I wish you only the best of luck.
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