Nanny Demands

[Anonymous]

Hi I am new to this and was hoping to get some advice. Yesterday I did a trial day with a prospective nanny and I thought she did a great job. When it was time for her to leave, I told her we'd like to hire her, and could she come back next week to start, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, because we will be away for the holiday. She started saying that she gets paid for the days we don't use her, the holiday, additionally she gets two weeks vaca, 5 sick days and also all federal holidays paid off. When we originally interviewed her we stated that we were interested in both full time and part time nanny help, as I was unsure if I would be going back full time or part time. She said either was fine with her.

It turns out, we only really need part time because I will only be working part time. I was a little put off by her demands, as I am totally willing to work out benefits and vacation schedules, but I feel like it should be a conversation between us and her. It should not just be a list of demands in such a matter of fact way. I understand that's what she was given at her previous employer (her only prior experience) so maybe she thinks that is the norm but I was a little taken back. If I am only working part time I don't want to be paying all this vacation and federal holidays when she wouldn't have worked that day anyway. I don't mind paying some, but this seems a little excessive. Even perhaps, for full time.

What do you think?

[Anonymous]

You should thank her for her honesty, and either negotiate, or move on.

[Anonymous]

I may be misunderstanding you - but does this nanny KNOW she will only be working for you part-time? It sounds to me like she is assuming she is being hired for a full time position.

[Anonymous]

OP, Put your offer in writing to avoid this nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Yes i told her, part time or full time before hiring her, and she said either was fine. I then said part time and she still had the demands. I asked if she had a contract with her previous employer laying all this out , and she said no. But good idea, we will put it in writing and she can take it or leave it.

[Anonymous]

It does sound as if she thinks she is being hired for a full time position, and you should come back with your offer in writing and clarify. That being said, a good offer would include paid holidays that fall on her work days, so if Friday is not a work day it wouldn't be a paid holiday.

As for the two weeks vacation, it should correspond to her work weeks, so if she will work 3 days per week, 6 days of vacation would be appropriate. I also think guaranteed hours (you pay even if you don't use her) is a completely legitimate request and especially important for PT positions if you want a long term commitment.

You seem to take issue with her approach more so than the actual details of her expectations, and I think you should consider if she really is a good fit for you. I think her approach (maybe not her phrasing, I wasn't there) is one of a confident professional nanny, who knows she can't sit around and hope you give her what she needs. You seem like you'd like to be in more a position of authority, call the shots, and get to play big boss and that is why you don't like her telling you what her terms are. If you're honest with yourself, and you want a more deferential nanny, perhaps she is not right for you. You will drive each other crazy in a stupid power struggle.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like she may have made a reasonable mistake in thinking your position was full time. Even for part time though, federal holidays that fall on work days are generally paid.

I suggest prorating the benefits. For example, if she works 20 hours per week she would get 50% of the normal PTO.

A contract is one of the most important parts of an employment relationship. It is unprofessional on both your parts to have moved forward without it. We have all been new to this just like you and probably made the same mistake so I am not trying to be overly harsh, I will beappropriately harsh though. You need to never make this mistake again.

[Anonymous]

I think you are being overly harsh and perhaps you did not read my original post- we don't have a contract yet because she has not been hired. She did a trial and we liked her. This all came up when discussing the terms of the employment, before a contract could be drafted. Obviously we would have one and I was asking here about what was appropriate. I thought this forum was for advice not for people to sit here and attack others.

[Anonymous]

And no I don't like to play big boss. I just want to know what's appropriate. This board is very judgmental.

[Anonymous]

Her requests are exactly in line with a FT position, they are not "demands" and maybe you are getting some flak because of your word choice. It makes it sound like you felt she was being rude when all she was doing was clarifying for you the benefits she, like many FT nannies, receives. If this is a PT position how PT is it? (I receieve all of those benefits for a 35hr/wk job.)

Just write up your offer and send it to her. Why make a fuss about a job candidate being upfront about their expectations? I just don't see what upset you enough to post about it

[Anonymous]

I wasn't upset. Just caught off guard. Sorry about the word choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi I am new to this and was hoping to get some advice. Yesterday I did a trial day with a prospective nanny and I thought she did a great job. When it was time for her to leave, I told her we'd like to hire her, and could she come back next week to start, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, because we will be away for the holiday. She started saying that she gets paid for the days we don't use her, the holiday, additionally she gets two weeks vaca, 5 sick days and also all federal holidays paid off. When we originally interviewed her we stated that we were interested in both full time and part time nanny help, as I was unsure if I would be going back full time or part time. She said either was fine with her.

It turns out, we only really need part time because I will only be working part time. I was a little put off by her demands, as I am totally willing to work out benefits and vacation schedules, but I feel like it should be a conversation between us and her. It should not just be a list of demands in such a matter of fact way. I understand that's what she was given at her previous employer (her only prior experience) so maybe she thinks that is the norm but I was a little taken back. If I am only working part time I don't want to be paying all this vacation and federal holidays when she wouldn't have worked that day anyway. I don't mind paying some, but this seems a little excessive. Even perhaps, for full time.

What do you think?

I don't see how someone would be fine with either full or part time.... Either you want to work 5 days a week or you want to work 2/3, they don't go hand in hand.

[Anonymous]

She should get 6 days of vacation, 3 sick days, guaranteed pay and not all federal holidays, just the ones you decide. Usually Christmas, New Years, Memorial Day, 4th of July, Labor Day and Thanksgiving. But you only need to pay for those days if they fall on her work days.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like her delivery was abrupt and demanding and that's what is throwing you off. It would throw me off too.

[Anonymous]

She should get 6 days of vacation, 3 sick days, guaranteed pay and not all federal holidays, just the ones you decide. Usually Christmas, New Years, Memorial Day, 4th of July, Labor Day and Thanksgiving. But you only need to pay for those days if they fall on her work days.

This is a good and generous contract for a PT nanny.