Nanny Demands

[Anonymous]

Well, you were wrong, OP - DCUM is the place you will get attacked - hopefully along with some good advice. Ignore the silly harpies and just pay attention the the saner posts.


Here are the things I think you should negotiate:

- Guaranteed hours. If a federal holiday like Christmas falls on her usual day and hours, she is paid. If not - she is not. No one will ask you to pay them for a federal holiday when they weren't scheduled to work anyway. Also, you cannot say, "we don't need you on Tuesday even though that is your usual work day". She doesn't have to work but you still have to pay her. Pay or play.
- Her vacation is generally two weeks after one year of work - and should obviously be payment for her usual part-time guaranteed hours. One week should be your choice and one week should be her choice.
- Personal time is generally made up of the hours of the guaranteed week. If she works 34 hours, she should have 34 hours to use as sick and personal time. Of course since she is part-time, she should make her appointments on her off days.


If you like her - talk to her. She was probably nervous and sounded far more demanding then she actually is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you are being overly harsh and perhaps you did not read my original post- we don't have a contract yet because she has not been hired. She did a trial and we liked her. This all came up when discussing the terms of the employment, before a contract could be drafted. Obviously we would have one and I was asking here about what was appropriate. I thought this forum was for advice not for people to sit here and attack others.

I am the Pp you responded to. Either the position was going to be full time with full benefits or part time with a smaller benefit package. You may not have known which would work out but surely you knew what you were going to be paying either way?? I am not sure how you or she could be confident that she would take either schedule without disclosing the benefits of both so that she could make an informed choice. That would have meant drawing up two versions of the contract and having them prepared for the potential nanny to look over. You are overreacting to the feedback here. You are not a victim and certainly not on my accord.

[Anonymous]

I Obviously new I was going to pay. Thanks to those who have good advice!

[Anonymous]

It sounds like her requests are reasonable for a full time position, and some might even be reasonable for some part time positions, but she mishandled the presentation. She should have said, "Great! Why don't we set up a time to speak by phone about compensation and other terms of employment? Or would you prefer to start the process by sending me a written offer?" It is neither appropriate nor good negotiating strategy to start listing demands on the fly as one is walking out the door.

[Anonymous]

The nanny is expecting the perks of a full-time position. She will not be satisfied with less. Keep looking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I Obviously new I was going to pay. Thanks to those who have good advice!

You are getting advice. Improve your communication skills, be clear up front about either eventuality, don't ask someone to come back next week who has not had a chance to see a draft of the contract and what benefits you are offering. This is really solid advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I Obviously new I was going to pay. Thanks to those who have good advice!

Yes, but you failed to communicate that to you nanny. She was put in an awkward position when you asked her to work for you without providing her enough information to make an informed choice. It sounds like you both botched the conversation, but unintentionally both ways. Therefore I would chop it up as a minor misunderstanding and not judge her or your professional capacity based on this one conversation.

[Anonymous]

When the nanny said all of this to you, had you told her that the job would be part-time already?

Well anyway, I guess it doesn't matter anyway since you stated that she already agreed that she would be fine either way.

However, before you actually hire her which would be now, I think this is the right time to talk about money so I am glad she brought this up sooner rather than later. Maybe the manner she brought it up was quite tacky, but it's good to discuss pay and everything prior to hire.

For part-time work, I think she is asking a little too much so if you are uncomfortable shelling out what she wants, then you may need to part ways now if you both are unable to compromise.

I think she is asking of you what it typical of a full-time nanny's benefits vs. a part-time, but you can get some better input on here from other nannies.

[Anonymous]

I think the issue is less what she asked for than how she asked for it. It's think it's fine that those are the benefits she wants and that she was clear about it but I do think she should have been more tactful about it. I do understand from a nanny's perspective it's important to be upfront about what you want so as not to waste anyone's time but I think it's more tactful to make it a discussion rather than just announcing what she wants. We give our nanny all the things your candidate asked for (and planned to before we started interviewing for the position). During interviews, if I liked the candidate, I would bring up what we were offering for those benefits. There were a few candidates who asked me about benefits before I brought it up but they did it tactfully by asking what we were offering and in some cases explaining what they received previously. I had one candidate though who, as soon as she walked in my door for the interview, immediately wanted to talk about compensation and before I could have a chance to explain what we were offering she just announced what she wanted. It happened to be what we were already offering but the manner in which she did it definitely turned me off to her. Obviously I'm not a nanny but in my profession I'd never walk into an interview that way. I'd also never tell a potential employer what benefits/salary etc I wanted unless they asked me first or if they already told me what they were offering and I wanted to negotiate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the issue is less what she asked for than how she asked for it. It's think it's fine that those are the benefits she wants and that she was clear about it but I do think she should have been more tactful about it. I do understand from a nanny's perspective it's important to be upfront about what you want so as not to waste anyone's time but I think it's more tactful to make it a discussion rather than just announcing what she wants. We give our nanny all the things your candidate asked for (and planned to before we started interviewing for the position). During interviews, if I liked the candidate, I would bring up what we were offering for those benefits. There were a few candidates who asked me about benefits before I brought it up but they did it tactfully by asking what we were offering and in some cases explaining what they received previously. I had one candidate though who, as soon as she walked in my door for the interview, immediately wanted to talk about compensation and before I could have a chance to explain what we were offering she just announced what she wanted. It happened to be what we were already offering but the manner in which she did it definitely turned me off to her. Obviously I'm not a nanny but in my profession I'd never walk into an interview that way. I'd also never tell a potential employer what benefits/salary etc I wanted unless they asked me first or if they already told me what they were offering and I wanted to negotiate.

But OP offered her the job without outlining the benefits being offered. Her nanny candidate was probably put on the spot, hopefully liked the family and wanted the job but wanted to quickly and clearly communicate what she would need if she was going to begin work the next week. Not the same as walking into an interview with a list of benefits before even determining if you're the right person for the job (which I agree is inexcusable).

I think the poster who said it sounds like miscommunication on both sides is probably closest to the mark. I'm not comfortable judging OP or the nanny based on how they handled this and do believe an excellent relationship is still a possibility.

[Anonymous]

Always put your offer in writing. Why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Always put your offer in writing. Why not?

Agree with this. Give the nanny a copy to take home if you don't hire her in the interview. That way she can recall which interviewer was asking what.

[Anonymous]

I doubt the nanny was really demanding so much as she was just telling you what she expects her employer to offer. I would appreciate her being upfront about her expectations because I wouldn't want to commit to a nanny only to find out that she wants something that I can't offer.

I agree with PPs who said that she should have 3 sick days, 6 days of vacation, guaranteed pay and any holidays that she should be working paid for her. I'm assuming that you aren't working retail or something like that while the nanny is around, so you probably have PTO, sick days, etc.

[Anonymous]

If you get paid by your employer (vacation, sick days, holidays, bad weather days, etc...) when you don't work, then you need to pay the nanny the same way. Just be fair and you'll get a loyal nannie. I treat my nannie fairly and we have her for 5 years now.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for all the feedback. We worked it out- she's getting 2 weeks vaca (the three days each week she would have worked) 5 sick days and all federal holidays which fall on her workdays. And a transportation stipend. I have no problem providing this was just looking for guidance as I am new to this. Take care.