Not hired because of my hair color (rant)
![[Post New]](/nanny-forum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
Warning: it's long 
OK, let me start from the beginning. I'm in between jobs, so while looking for a full time job (or two part time jobs) I try to find any additional/extra hours here and there. I had one interview set up for this past Friday. We agreed to meet at 4 p.m. The family lives in Olney, Montgomery county, and I was going to meet her after work. I work in Annapolis. I left my phone number in the e-mail in case of emergency and I also said that I would most likely be there at 3:45 and I would wait for her. I was supposed to get off work at 2:30 and it takes one hour to get from one place to another, so I figured I would be there a bit earlier than 4. Unfortunately, I had an emergency at work. The youngest boy got sick and had to go to the doctor. Long story short, I left work at 3 and because of the accident on the way, got to the agreed location at 4:04. It was a busy place and there were plenty of people, but I didn't see anyone who would fit the description. I waited 15 minutes and then sent her a message through care.com (I didn't have their phone number) asking if she was there. I was supposed to meet the mom and her two kids. I ended up leaving, because I had other obligations back in Annapolis. Yesterday I got a message from the mom that said: "Hi Xxx, Sorry to miss you yesterday. I am sure you are a great person and I am not judgemental but am not prepared to explain to my 4 year old daughter yet why or why not a person chooses to color her hair 6 different colors. I am sorry but wanted to wish you good luck. Enjoy the belly dancing, Im sure its fun." (the belly dance reference was because initially she wanted to meet me on Thursday, but I told her I had a class) So today I woke up to a negative review she wrote on care.com This is what she said: "I am not ready to explain to my 4 year old daughter why it may or may not be okay to dye one's hair 7 different colors. Need someone wholesome and punctual!" And I responded with this: "We agreed to meet at 4 and I told Xxx that there was a chance I could be there at 3:45 and I would wait. I gave her my phone number in case of emergency. I had an hour and 10 min. drive to where Xxx was and there was an accident on the way, so I ended up being there at 4:04. I waited 15 minutes and I sent her a message through Care. com asking if she was there. I didn't get any response, so I left. I think it was very unprofessional of Xxx to come to our agreed location, look at me and leave without even telling me who she was and that for whatever reason she wasn't interested. It was rude, judgmental and very unprofessional. It's a shame that in this age some people look at the hair color instead of the quality of work. I have glowing references from all the families I worked for. I am CPR/First Aid certified. I have 15 years of professional nanny experience (not including family and friends) and 3 years of experience as a kindergarten teacher in Europe. I completed a few years of Early Childhood Education and at this point I'm working on another degree (in nutrition). I have plenty of experience with children of all ages, behavioral/health issues, etc. In this case none of that mattered. What mattered was that my hair was not the right color. In all honesty, I never had a family not hire me because of my hair. Quite the opposite - everyone always loved it, both parents and children. Children warm up to me quickly and always tell me they love my hair. I had another interview last night and a 4-year-old boy told me he liked my hair. Really, there is nothing to explain to a child, besides that some people like their hair multicolored. I could never understand why some people say they don't want to "explain" such-and-such to their children. Isn't that what parenting is? Having real discussions, talking about things openly, with honesty and trust, and teaching them to see and appreciate a person's heart and character. Teaching them that different doesn't equal bad. The bottom line is that as a nanny, I would not want to work for someone as judgmental as Xxx. I can't understand how someone can think that another person is not "wholesome" because of their hair color. I have worked for 20+ families, each one of them was different. Different race, lifestyle, beliefs, etc. I always thought it was a blessing to work for each and every one of them. I know I will find many more amazing families to work for." I understand that she has the right not to hire me for whatever reason, but what I really have an issue with is that she knew what I looked like, because she saw pictures of me on care.com. Why would you make someone drive one hour and not have decency to even say hi? OK, rant over. |
Anonymous
| WOw, OP I am a nanny and I feel bad this happened to you. I personally wouldn't change my haircolor to 6 different things but I am not the kind of person who likes to stand out in the crowd. I wouldn't hold it against someone else who made a different choice though I might try and vet you more carefully to make sure our other values align. Sounds like this mom hasn't had a lot of real world experience with different kinds of people. She should have at least gone through with the interview and offered you $10 for gas but to play devil's advocate, does your profile picture on care.com show your hair color so she would have known in advance what to expect? |
Anonymous
|
Do your pictures on care have your multi colored hair? If they don't, they should.
While I don't think she went about it the right way at all, u don't think rainbow hair is very professional. |
Anonymous
Typo. *I don't think rainbow hair is very professional. |
Anonymous
|
OP here.
Yes, my profile picture shows all the colors. I also have a nose piercing. |
Anonymous
| I don't know OP, I don't think I would have hired you either. Why would you even tell the mom you had a belly dancing class? It's really none of her business and all you really had to say is that you had other obligations and if you could please reschedule for another time. As far as the hair goes, I guess it's your choice to color it whatever color you want but to me it sounds a little immature and unprofessional. As nannies our personal appearance is very important especially during the interview process. We are huge role models to these kids and I doubt very many parents want their preschoolers wanting to die their hair color. |
Anonymous
| This kind of reminds me of the post about the nanny bringing unhealthy food in her lunch and then eating it in front of her charge. Sure, it's you choice to do whatever you want with your body, but you need to remember that we are role models to these kids. OP do you really think it's OK for a 4 year old to want to get her nose pierced and her hair died at such a young age? Shouldn't we be teaching them to be happy with how their bodies are? I'm a nanny and pretty open minded but I don't think I would ever have you work for me. |
Anonymous
| Your story sounds fake, OP. If it isn't, well, it sounds like you weren't what she was looking for in a nanny. Move on. |
Anonymous
| OP, I'm sorry that this happened to you. I've previously had my lip pierced and pink hair and I have tattoos and have had no issues finding jobs. Someone who doesn't even bother to interview you based on your appearance isn't someone who would likely make a good employer. |
Anonymous
|
Ugh, I feel for you OP. I don't understand why people take things like hair colour, tattoos, and piercings so seriously.
I have a tattoo, and have had my hair dyed multiple colours in the past, and thankfully I've never come across a family who's been so close minded about it. Personally I see it as a form of art and expression, and have chosen to decorate my body with tattoos and hair dye the same way I decorate my body with clothes. |
Anonymous
| I call bull. If OP has pictures that display her rainbow hair, then there's no way the "employer" would claim to see her and not interview because of it. |
Anonymous
| Your reply was unnecessarily long. You should have stopped after the second paragraph. Your continued ranting makes you sound crazy. Just stick to the facts. |
Anonymous
|
I'll be honest, I wouldn't have hired you. It really does look unprofessional.
But I would not have stood you up or written a bad review, that's just hateful. Delete your account and start over, you don't want a negative review on your profile. |
Anonymous
| I wouldn't hire either. But I wouldn't of agreed to the interview if you have a profile pic with the multi colored hair or any strange colored hair for that matter. |
Anonymous
| Maybe it was the hair, plus being late, plus telling her about belly dancing. |