Spanking
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Anonymous
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I am upfront when interviewing that I don't spank, won't spank, and will not work for a family that does spank.
The family I currently work for swore up and down they don't agree with corporal punishment, this was when their oldest was 18-months-old and now he is almost 4, and the youngest is 2. He is a very strong willed boy, and first I noticed that DB was spanking, and MB protested now they both say that he is too be spanked if he won't sit in time-out. I said I will not spank, they said that was fine. They fail to realize that we need to be on the same page as far as discipline and boundaries go. Every day has been Hell, he has become more aggressive since they began spanking and since I don't spank he feels like he can run all over me. I don't feel like this family and I are a good fit, and discussed leaving by the end of the summer with my bosses. They want to try to work things out, and think that he'll settle down once he starts Pre-K but I know it has to do with the spanking, and since I have such strong convictions against it I just can't work there anymore. Would it be out of my jurisdiction to show MB and DB information about the negative effects of corporal punishment, and give them some alternative solutions? |
Anonymous
| This is none of your business. You are not the parent, of course you wouldn't be spanking |
Anonymous
As long as I am a temporary coparent (there words, not mind) it is absolutely my business how the children are punished. |
Anonymous
I took the PP to mean that it is none of your business "to show MB and DB information about the negative effects of corporal punishment, and give them some alternative solutions". If you don't want to spank (which I agree with), then don't. If you cannot work for a family that now does, then you should leave soon instead of waiting until the end of summer. It will do neither side any good for you to be there another 4 months with you disagreeing on what they are doing, especially since you are right that both nanny and parents should be on the same side/viewpoint of how to discipline the children, and actively doing the same. I have never dealt with parents doing any spanking, but I have dealt with parents that never did actually discipline their children, or would be weak with it and let their children walk all over them. This was something that I could not stand, as it meant that the children tried to do the same with me, and so I left and found something else where when told that something was not allowed, the parents would not give in to them when the child wanted to do it and argued about it (or did it anyways). |
Anonymous
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Yes, educate the parents with literature. I don't think anyone really wants to hit. They just don't know what else to do.
So the old child is not yet in any preschool program? Does he do regular playdates? |
Anonymous
People know how to use Google. If they don't want to hit and want to find out other methods, entering in "alternatives to spanking" in a search engine works really good... |
Anonymous
| You act like its your decision not to spank the child. You have no right to spank, the parents do. It's their choice, you don't get to call the shots |
Anonymous
It's not about who gets to call the shots. Your comment is not to bright. What's the matter with you? It's about doing what's best for the child. Get with the program here. |
Anonymous
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There is a fine line between spanking and abuse.
Spanking reinforces to a child that if they continue to do as they please and not follow authority, they will feel it where it hurts. Abuse is when someone is physically assaulting a child for no logical reason....when the anger is unwarranted or out of control. If spanking is ever outlawed, you bet this world will be full of a bunch of self-entitled brats. Wait and see. I promise. Anyway, it is NONE of your business how anyone else raises their kids OP. I am against certain issues myself, but I am hired to do as the parents wish and what they do when I am not there is truly none of my business. Get over it. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
You are not too bright. Pay attention, you might learn something |
Anonymous
| The family I work for also said they did not believe in spanking when I started working for them. This was after I told them I did not spank, I didn't even tell them that I wouldn't work for them if they did spank. Well about a week in to the job job the 3 year old was having a major tantrum. When I could do nothing to calm her down I left the room until she got a hold of herself and we could talk about things. When I came out to see what the 5 year old was doing he said that when his mommy and daddy were there they would spank the 3 year old and close her in her room until she stopped. Let me just say that these kids are 2 of the worst behaved kids I have ever cared for. Spanking does not do any good! |
Anonymous
'' Disagree. My charges get spanked for major offenses and it works like a charm. Some kids are just bad. Anyways OP, they are NOT your kids so you have no right to decide how the parents discipline THEIR children. This is the issue with some nannies who believe that they are a parent and know better then the parents about THEIR children. Get a grip OP and move on to a different profession if you can't see the boundaries. |
Anonymous
You are spineless, otherwise known as a doormat. |
Anonymous
It has nothing to do with being a doormat. You're hired help, not a parent. If you don't like the parents methods and it affects you this much then find employment elsewhere but don't go printing up side effects. You'd be crossing the line. Get a clue and stay professional and MYOB! |