Spanking

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here. Also wanted to add that no one has answered my questions. I don't want to get into the definition of spanking, but I would like to hear how the logic works. If you spank, do you believe its the only effective method? If yes, how do you expect your nanny or anyone else to effectively discipline in your stead? If not, why do you choose that method over one that doesn't required hitting your child and losing their trust? I know being hit and spanked as a child created a distance in my relationship with my parents that still exists today. I do not trust them to care about my feelings/issues, nor do I trust them to advise me if I make a mistake.

I would consider spanking more of a last resort or for things that were extreme. I would not expect my nanny to do it, nor want that. I would expect her to take away any benefits/extras that they have like no treat if they normally have one, not getting a choice with dinner options, if they normally get an hour of media a day then that would be taken away for a day to a week etc. If they normally went to the pool in the summer, they might have to skip it one day, and so on. Plus do any timeouts/being sent to their bedroom as necessary. I have found that kids are more likely to act out in bad behavior for their parents than with the nanny though, and anything significant might happen with parents who are not supervising them as closely as a nanny might be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny it is not your job to tell parents how to be parents. If you were to hand me literature, I would show you the door. If you no longer feel you are a good fit with this family, then leave.

You're very right in the fact that you need to be on the same page. However, that doesn't mean the parents change their practices to fit your idea of what works.

In that case, do yourself (and your children) a favor. Settle for a sitter, rather than an experienced nanny; otherwise you will both be endlessly frustrated with each other.

It's the job of a professional nanny to "be in the know", about child development. Parents don't normally have enough free time to research various issues. Many parents have never even held a baby, before having their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly can't believe that there are three pages of people mainly defending a parents right to spank. Your children are still human beings with rights of their own, perhaps not legally, but certainly on a basic level. Spanking is hitting, it is not less abusive because it is on the butt rather than a slap in the face or a twist of the arm. If you can not get your own anger in check, you have no business being around children. Hitting is not discipline, it is lazy, mean, and detrimental to children in so many ways.

Spanking with a hand can be the same act as burping your infant, with just slightly more force. Is it bad to burp your baby too? That is also hitting, technically speaking.

You are kidding right? Tell me you are kidding...

[Anonymous]

I agree that hitting is lazy frustration. If I found out my charges were being hit, I'd be onto my next job. Sorry, MB. You need to do your part to.

Btw, if the child ever has a mark resulting from a nasty "spanking", the parents could try to make the nanny responsible. Not wise for nanny to hang around and wait for jail time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly can't believe that there are three pages of people mainly defending a parents right to spank. Your children are still human beings with rights of their own, perhaps not legally, but certainly on a basic level. Spanking is hitting, it is not less abusive because it is on the butt rather than a slap in the face or a twist of the arm. If you can not get your own anger in check, you have no business being around children. Hitting is not discipline, it is lazy, mean, and detrimental to children in so many ways.

Spanking with a hand can be the same act as burping your infant, with just slightly more force. Is it bad to burp your baby too? That is also hitting, technically speaking.

You are kidding right? Tell me you are kidding...

The scary thing is, someone is paying this nutjob to watch their children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly can't believe that there are three pages of people mainly defending a parents right to spank. Your children are still human beings with rights of their own, perhaps not legally, but certainly on a basic level. Spanking is hitting, it is not less abusive because it is on the butt rather than a slap in the face or a twist of the arm. If you can not get your own anger in check, you have no business being around children. Hitting is not discipline, it is lazy, mean, and detrimental to children in so many ways.

Spanking with a hand can be the same act as burping your infant, with just slightly more force. Is it bad to burp your baby too? That is also hitting, technically speaking.

You are kidding right? Tell me you are kidding...

The scary thing is, someone is paying this nutjob to watch their children

The sad thing is, does anyone really care about those children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny it is not your job to tell parents how to be parents. If you were to hand me literature, I would show you the door. If you no longer feel you are a good fit with this family, then leave.

You're very right in the fact that you need to be on the same page. However, that doesn't mean the parents change their practices to fit your idea of what works.

Exactly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny it is not your job to tell parents how to be parents. If you were to hand me literature, I would show you the door. If you no longer feel you are a good fit with this family, then leave.

You're very right in the fact that you need to be on the same page. However, that doesn't mean the parents change their practices to fit your idea of what works.

Exactly

Potential jail time is not what most nannies want.
Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that hitting is lazy frustration. If I found out my charges were being hit, I'd be onto my next job. Sorry, MB. You need to do your part to.

Btw, if the child ever has a mark resulting from a nasty "spanking", the parents could try to make the nanny responsible. Not wise for nanny to hang around and wait for jail time.

FYI