Pros and cons of being a live-in
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Anonymous
| I've been offered a position as a live-in nanny. I am hoping to hear other people's experiences. Did you have set hours or were you working all the time? Is the salary less than a live-out? What were the living arrangements? I want to hear the good and the bad! |
Anonymous
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Pro: Cheaper
Con: Lack of privacy |
Anonymous
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Be prepared for noisy kids, not getting "fair" share of the household (even if they say you have use of the living room, kitchen etc, you will have to cook your own food around them and if at the same time in a tight space, let them have first use of stove burners, counter space, they gets dibs on the living room tv and space). This won't be like having a roommate or 2, or even 3 as you can't ask them to let you have a space to do something in like you could otherwise. If you can use the tv you have to wait until no one else is using it, watch what they want to watch, a lot of the time no having your own friends over to hang out in the main areas. It pretty much becomes you hanging out in your own room/area unless you are hanging out with the family in the home. You get less pay and that goes towards your rent and utilities, maybe food, but they might forget that you really actually do pay your own rent and think of you getting free rent. They might eat your food when you don't expect it and eat the LAST of it, meaning you have no more of that until you can go shopping again.
Really, the only convenient things are that you might get a discount on your rent/utilities through this, not have to worry about paying these bills yourself, and that you don't have a commute. If those aren't big enough incentives for you, then it would be best to get a live out position. |
Anonymous
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PP must've had a bad live-in experience. Not all positions are like that!
First and foremost you have to find a GOOD FIT. Unless you're in completely separate quarters, you need to be comfortable being around these people in your pajamas. That's seriously how I look at it. My live-in family is amazing. We are all really close and I feel like I've living with my own family. Pay is less than a live-out position because you don't have rent to pay. I get a TON of other benefits (health insurance, car, car insurance, cell phone, etc) so really my salary is just mine to bank so it's a good deal for me. Just seriously don't take a position with anyone you're not sure about. PP, my bosses don't "eat my food" so stop generalizing. There are great live-in positions out there. I have my own suite which is a huge bedroom, bathroom, living room. I have plenty of privacy. |
Anonymous
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I've been offered a position as a live-in nanny. I am hoping to hear other people's experiences. Did you have set hours or were you working all the time? Is the salary less than a live-out? What were the living arrangements? I want to hear the good and the bad!
I have set hours. You need to have set hours or be paid for a 24 hour position (and even they have set time off!) If you don't have set hours your live in experience will be a nightmare and you will feel taken advantage of. My set hours are 8am- 7.30pm and I have also babysit up to twice a week. Yes the salary will be less than a live out position. You are not paying for rent, utilities, food or transport too and the trade off for not paying for these things is not earning as much. My living arrangements are: I have a bedroom and a bathroom (well I sometimes share the bathroom). The family pays for all the food I eat (except when I eat out). Somethings get added to the shopping list on my behalf (a different type of cheese, crackers, peanut butter, hot chocolate mix), and mostly I eat with the kids. I think my live in position is a good live in position. I am happy where I am and do not feel taken advantage of. The plus sides for me are: not having to go "home" and the end of a working day and cook for myself, no commute on a 11 hour day (this is my favorite plus), any money I earn goes on what I want - no spending half of what I earn on rent, being able to roll out of bed 10m before I start work, and if the weather changes, or I get super dirty all of my stuff is where I work so I can just nip off to my room and change. The minus side is sometimes hearing the baby at night (when I'm going to sleep but I am a deep sleeper once I am asleep), lack of personal space - ie can't / don't want to be seen getting drunk, checking about guests, and sometimes feeling like you never leave work, ie you wander down to the kitchen for a glass of milk and even though you are no longer on the clock getting asked a work question. I would not start work without getting a complete clarification of work hours and living arrangements. Ie what hours, any babysitting, rules for babysitting (I can sleep when I'm sitting at night), what food arrangements will be (I've seen ads for positions that will only feed you main meals when you are there, you may or may not be ok with this but i wouldn't be), what comes with the position? I have wifi and a tv in my room - don't forget to check if they have any banned foods! |
Anonymous
I was saying that about the food because it can happen, and more often than you might think. I didn't say that it happens on a regular basis for every family. The more people in and out of the house (house guests, friends etc) the more it can happen. I have had many people help themselves to stuff because the family allows this of their guests but it doesn't always get pointed out which stuff is mine. Also, sometimes things that are bought by the family as well as me will get grabbed by the kids or mom when she isn't paying attention. It can be just as bad sometimes as living with a roommate that will eat some of your stuff randomly. Also, the noisy kids thing is pretty much every family at some point during the day. If you are used to living out with no kids then living in with kids (on your off hours including weekends) can be a big adjustment with the issue of noise. The sharing space thing is also true of many families, no matter how good of terms you are on with them. If they want to use the tv or room, you can bet that you will be asked to turn it over to them. There will be no negotiating for you most of the time. If they already have 2 parents and 2+ kids, they will be making sure that everyone gets a turn at some point, but you will most definitely want your own tv in your room and find yourself having to go there more often than you wanted even. If you have your own suite, then that is great, but many only get their own bedroom and bath (some even have to share a bath). You definitely have privacy but it is not comparable to even sharing an apartment with just one or 2 other adults. My families have been pretty great otherwise, I have been very close to several of them, but issues do arise. Saying that I must have had a bad experience for issues I have dealt with is wrong. I actually have had really good experiences overall, and I have been doing live-in work for about 12 years. OP wanted pros and cons, I wanted to make the CONS stand out quite a bit as you will be thinking more about the PROS when considering the position and it can be harder to imagine what the CONS are. Even the ones you would call good positions can have some negative drawbacks. Again, because living with people can be quite stressful if you don't get a good fit for the most part, you really do need to want the pros much more than you would want to accept the cons with it. Not all live-in positions will include food, nor let you use a car on your own personal time, pay for anything above rent and utilities. These are all additional benefits that you would have to negotiate into your contract and even then the family might not want to add them. So you can't count on having no bills of your own if doing live-in work, it will vary by each position. I could work a live-out job at $17/hr for 40 hours a week and make $680/wk or roughly $2720/month. Or do a live-in position at $15/hr for same hours and make roughly $560/wk or $2240/month. If your share of the rent would be $500 for an apartment with 1 roommate, then you would still be making the same amount of money after rent, as a live-in with the lower rate. You might not end up paying your share of utilities while a live-in, but you would be sharing a house with how many more people in that situation? You can always earn more as a live-out so having "no bills" is not quite as much as an advantage as it first seems. |
Anonymous
| sorry, I think that should have been $14/hr for those rates, not $15/hr. |
Anonymous
| Make sure to get some kind of agreement in writing in regard to your living quarters separate from your work agreement. You need to protect yourself in case things don't work out and they try to put you out immediately. |
Anonymous
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Pros:
-->benefits of the job MAY include room/board, cell phone, cable, wifi, car use. -->no commute -->in some cases, you may be able to get personal tasks (like laundry) done during naptimes or school hours -->you may have a closer relationship and easier communication with MB/DB Cons: -->if it's a bad situation, it's harder to quit -->unless you have a suite with your own living/sitting/tv room and kitchenette, you may feel very confined. You will have to cook, watch tv and entertain guests arounf their wchedule. Some families will not allow overnight guests, so if your friend is in town, you can't offer her an air mattress as you could living with roommates. If your family want to visit, they/you have to pay for a hotel. Also I have found that I spend more money on eating/going out, because I can't just invite friends to my place for a rented movie and homemade meal. -->even your free time may not feel free. With youngers kids, you may keep hearing tantrums and feel obligated to go help, with older kids, they may try to "visit" you in your room uninvited. Parents will feel less restraint about your personal time and may pop in (at 8 am on your one day to sleep in) to ask if you know where little Larla's swim goggles went. -->sick days will be way less restful. -->job creep WRT housework is much worse because they (reasonably) expect you to do some cleaning as a family member, and that can morph into a much longer list than a family member would normally contribute. -->depending on benefits, you may actually be making less money than a live-out job minus rent. This sounds negative, but my main advice is this: being a live-out versus live-in is the difference between dating someone and moving in together. You want to talk about everything beforehand and really get to know them before jumping in. |
Anonymous
| If a job wanted me to live in, they'd have to pay really well. Or my living space would need to be totally separate. |
Anonymous
+1 I know it works for some people, but I have only ever found live-in positions miserable. There is not enough privacy, you have no claim to any of the shared spaces (as PP mentioned re: tv, cooking, etc.), impossible to have friends over or host dinners/parties/movies with your friends, it's too easy for parents to extend your hours unexpectedly or begin to take advantage in other ways, and I always felt uncomfortable adding things to the grocery list but I didn't eat the same foods they did. I wouldn't do it again. |
Anonymous
| I think live-in is mostly for young nannies who want to get out of their parents' homes. |
Anonymous
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I think it all depends on the family you work for. I have been a live in nanny for two families, the first family I worked with for 6 years and the living arrangements were NEVER an issue.
My current position I have a separate cottage in their backyard, so while I am a "live-in" nanny, I have basically my own studio apartment (bedroom/living room, bathroom and kitchen) and have full privacy. I do not agree with what people keep saying about live-in jobs paying less than live-out, it all depends on the type of position. I am a live-in for a "high profile" family and make just under 70k a year, plus health insurance, and full access to a vehicle while I am working and on my time off. I will say, I do work WAY more hours than I would if I was a live-out! If you think it seems like a good fit, go for it.. 
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Anonymous
Uhh...no. You are wrong. |
Anonymous
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The average (non-high profile) family is going to pay you a bit less per hour for someone living in compared to someone living out. The ones that pay a great rate for live-in work either desperately need/want someone to live in and can afford a higher amount, or could probably pay a higher rate and ARE dropping it a bit but you just can't tell since it is still a great rate. The wealthier families also give better benefit packages and usually have a car for you to use most of the time (including off hours) since they have a car that is just for the kids/nanny instead of one that gets used by the parents as well on weekends. 3 or 4 cars is pretty common in those situations.
My current live-in family is pretty good. There are issues that I had stated in one of my previous posts, but I think most live-in situations have some minor stuff even. The mom is very relaxed about things, I can have friends over (including male friends) any time I want to, we watch tv and movies in my room, I can have out of town guests stay over in the spare room (she has many that stay here as well, several times a month sometimes), and she is great about understanding that sometimes things just don't get done one day, but as long as it does get done eventually, or I try, it is all cool. I also am allowed to have my own pets live with me, we are in talks about adding another cat for them as well (they have had them in the past). We are close but also give each other space and it works out good. If anything, she is probably more lenient about things with the kids than I am, so I have to sometimes pull myself back since it is not my position to tell her how to parent them. We are very similar with our personalities, it is more than I am OCD while she is not (more on the other extreme) but that makes us fit since she needs someone like me to do certain stuff and I like to do that stuff anyways. |