Au pair with unsavory boyfriend

[Anonymous]

She's now figuring out why she wasn't getting any match offers up until now.

[Anonymous]

I’d be upset too if my meal ticket to the US was thinking of breaking it off. Sadly she’s probably just coming to party and get a green card. She’s already about that life you think she really wants to be bothered with your kids or family? She makes her weekly stipend in 30 minutes or less over the internet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's now figuring out why she wasn't getting any match offers up until now.

Sure she is. A fool is born everyday and here you are

[Anonymous]

She’s breaking it off immediately and also assuring you he will never step foot in your house ? So when’s he visiting ?

[Anonymous]

Dear OP,
I had a similar situation where I saw inappropriate behaviors on an incoming overseas au pair’s social media after we matched, prior to the arrival. I did ask her about it, and she denied it completely. She was obviously lying and I just wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt because we really liked her during the interview process. It started the match off on a very bad foot, with very little trust, and after numerous judgement-related incidents (not exactly what the social media problems were though), we had a very fast rematch. It was unpleasant for everyone, especially my kids, and I got the sense that she was shopping around for new families the minute she got the visa. I just wish I listened to people here when I posted about the problem initially. Save your time and effort and now and find someone who you really have a good vibe with from the get go. Don’t bother bringing this person to your house for a trial. It sucks for everyone to start out with a trust deficit.

[Anonymous]

Op please do not talk yourself into this being ok. This is not ok. Even if she did not know, which seems implausible, her judgment on people sucks. This is a red flag about the type of people she could hang out with in the us and bring into your life. We just had an au pair that we suspected liked to party based on her Instagram. Came here and was extreme in her partying. We put up with it but then after 5 weeks here she initiated rematch so she could go to a city with a bigger night club scene. It was awful to go through transition so quickly. Op better to cut the cord now then to have to rematch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op please do not talk yourself into this being ok. This is not ok. Even if she did not know, which seems implausible, her judgment on people sucks. This is a red flag about the type of people she could hang out with in the us and bring into your life. We just had an au pair that we suspected liked to party based on her Instagram. Came here and was extreme in her partying. We put up with it but then after 5 weeks here she initiated rematch so she could go to a city with a bigger night club scene. It was awful to go through transition so quickly. Op better to cut the cord now then to have to rematch.

let me guess..she was Brazilian?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s breaking it off immediately and also assuring you he will never step foot in your house ? So when’s he visiting ?

Right? As if this host mom seeing his porn posts was the final straw. "omg! I shall break up with him immediately. I had no idea!"

[Anonymous]

In response to some previous posts, not sure why someone who posts inappropriate pictures or hangs out with a guy like this would be more likely than any other to be in it for a green card…. Have had lots of innocent looking au pairs show up and spend the year on Tinder looking for a husband. At least this one is on notice for what you will and will not put up with in your home. If she’d been smarter, you never would have know about this. At least the guy is overseas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op please do not talk yourself into this being ok. This is not ok. Even if she did not know, which seems implausible, her judgment on people sucks. This is a red flag about the type of people she could hang out with in the us and bring into your life. We just had an au pair that we suspected liked to party based on her Instagram. Came here and was extreme in her partying. We put up with it but then after 5 weeks here she initiated rematch so she could go to a city with a bigger night club scene. It was awful to go through transition so quickly. Op better to cut the cord now then to have to rematch.

let me guess..she was Brazilian?

+1000

[Anonymous]

No. In fact she was not Brazilian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. In fact she was not Brazilian.

spill the bean on what country she's from.

[Anonymous]

People are always bitching about aupairs . What do you expect?! You get what you pay for!

[Anonymous]

We have an au pair because our expensive American nanny was also selling herself on the Internet. So this is not necessarily true…….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. So I found it on his Instagram, which is wide open and linked to Only Fans. I didn’t know what that was… lesson learned. I did NOT go out of my way to find it, which made it all the more scary.

I asked about it today and she was mortified, said she didn’t realize the link was there as hadn’t been to his Instagram in a while, and was incredibly upset that this could result in breaking the match. She also says that he’s out of the picture effective immediately and she knows he is never to set foot in our home. And that I do not want anything of this nature around my children or family or connected to us.

While I find it almost impossible that she had no clue, I caved. I’m willing to give her a chance now that she’s on notice that this is not in keeping with our values, since she says it isn’t with hers either.

Time will tell if I’ve made the right choice….. sigh.

I can't tell you if you've made the right choice, but personally, I would not select her as an au pair. Why risk it?