Au pair with unsavory boyfriend

[Anonymous]

OP, is this your first AP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op please do not talk yourself into this being ok. This is not ok. Even if she did not know, which seems implausible, her judgment on people sucks. This is a red flag about the type of people she could hang out with in the us and bring into your life. We just had an au pair that we suspected liked to party based on her Instagram. Came here and was extreme in her partying. We put up with it but then after 5 weeks here she initiated rematch so she could go to a city with a bigger night club scene. It was awful to go through transition so quickly. Op better to cut the cord now then to have to rematch.

This.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

For closure, here’s how it went down.

We thought it was unfair to judge her based on bf activities and as I said, agreed to give it a chance based on her initial reaction.

Soon after, found myself blocked off his Instagram. But current AP could see he re-posted his relationship story with her (right under the link to OnlyFans, ew). And then yesterday she posted a photo to his Instagram with hearts and something about how much she loves him for her sending gifts on Women’s Day.

So obviously still connected to him AND being sneaky about it. And then lied about blocking me. So trust broken completely and we’re out. She was so nice… but almost like a double life. No thanks. She had a chance and didn’t rise to the occasion.

No, not first AP. In fact, 13th. We’re usually pretty good at picking so this is a real first…

And Argentina.

Thanks for supporting me. Idk if what we did was right, but felt as many of you did that we were asking for trouble we don’t need.

[Anonymous]

You dodged a bullet!!! I didn’t trust my gut and it was miserable. Don’t think about it for another second, you made the right decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

For closure, here’s how it went down.

We thought it was unfair to judge her based on bf activities and as I said, agreed to give it a chance based on her initial reaction.

Soon after, found myself blocked off his Instagram. But current AP could see he re-posted his relationship story with her (right under the link to OnlyFans, ew). And then yesterday she posted a photo to his Instagram with hearts and something about how much she loves him for her sending gifts on Women’s Day.

So obviously still connected to him AND being sneaky about it. And then lied about blocking me. So trust broken completely and we’re out. She was so nice… but almost like a double life. No thanks. She had a chance and didn’t rise to the occasion.

No, not first AP. In fact, 13th. We’re usually pretty good at picking so this is a real first…

And Argentina.

Thanks for supporting me. Idk if what we did was right, but felt as many of you did that we were asking for trouble we don’t need.

Oh, thank goodness this was the outcome. I've noticed that as the world economies get worse, the aupair applicants are coached more on how to say the right things and match. Host families need to do their homework and make sure they are hiring someone who is putting on an act to get matched.

I hope you have much better luck with your next match.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

For closure, here’s how it went down.

We thought it was unfair to judge her based on bf activities and as I said, agreed to give it a chance based on her initial reaction.

Soon after, found myself blocked off his Instagram. But current AP could see he re-posted his relationship story with her (right under the link to OnlyFans, ew). And then yesterday she posted a photo to his Instagram with hearts and something about how much she loves him for her sending gifts on Women’s Day.

So obviously still connected to him AND being sneaky about it. And then lied about blocking me. So trust broken completely and we’re out. She was so nice… but almost like a double life. No thanks. She had a chance and didn’t rise to the occasion.

No, not first AP. In fact, 13th. We’re usually pretty good at picking so this is a real first…

And Argentina.

Thanks for supporting me. Idk if what we did was right, but felt as many of you did that we were asking for trouble we don’t need.

You should also tell the agency about this -- it's not fair for her to try to pull one over on another family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

For closure, here’s how it went down.

We thought it was unfair to judge her based on bf activities and as I said, agreed to give it a chance based on her initial reaction.

Soon after, found myself blocked off his Instagram. But current AP could see he re-posted his relationship story with her (right under the link to OnlyFans, ew). And then yesterday she posted a photo to his Instagram with hearts and something about how much she loves him for her sending gifts on Women’s Day.

So obviously still connected to him AND being sneaky about it. And then lied about blocking me. So trust broken completely and we’re out. She was so nice… but almost like a double life. No thanks. She had a chance and didn’t rise to the occasion.

No, not first AP. In fact, 13th. We’re usually pretty good at picking so this is a real first…

And Argentina.

Thanks for supporting me. Idk if what we did was right, but felt as many of you did that we were asking for trouble we don’t need.

You should also tell the agency about this -- it's not fair for her to try to pull one over on another family.

I agree. This person has no business coming here as an au pair. How awful! Glad you reconsidered and got out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

For closure, here’s how it went down.

We thought it was unfair to judge her based on bf activities and as I said, agreed to give it a chance based on her initial reaction.

Soon after, found myself blocked off his Instagram. But current AP could see he re-posted his relationship story with her (right under the link to OnlyFans, ew). And then yesterday she posted a photo to his Instagram with hearts and something about how much she loves him for her sending gifts on Women’s Day.

So obviously still connected to him AND being sneaky about it. And then lied about blocking me. So trust broken completely and we’re out. She was so nice… but almost like a double life. No thanks. She had a chance and didn’t rise to the occasion.

No, not first AP. In fact, 13th. We’re usually pretty good at picking so this is a real first…

And Argentina.

Thanks for supporting me. Idk if what we did was right, but felt as many of you did that we were asking for trouble we don’t need.

You should also tell the agency about this -- it's not fair for her to try to pull one over on another family.

I agree. This person has no business coming here as an au pair. How awful! Glad you reconsidered and got out.

Agreed. Good parenting demands good JUDGEMENT. Stop apologizing for doing your job.

[Anonymous]

I absolutely told CC every single detail including screen shots. They said they would be evaluating her participation…. But I’m sure the profiles are scrubbed by now. So who knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I absolutely told CC every single detail including screen shots. They said they would be evaluating her participation…. But I’m sure the profiles are scrubbed by now. So who knows.

So there’s really zero government oversight of this government program?

[Anonymous]

OP—nice job handling this and thank you immensely for sharing. A really good reminder of how carefully you have to screen these days and trust your instincts, and I’m a big fan of the program and have loved our APs. But this is the reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I absolutely told CC every single detail including screen shots. They said they would be evaluating her participation…. But I’m sure the profiles are scrubbed by now. So who knows.

So there’s really zero government oversight of this government program?

Basically none. Just like hiring a US nanny.

[Anonymous]

I absolutely would have cancelled the match, you made the right decision. Good due diligence! I need to work on my sleuthing skills in the future.