"I eat everything," she said in the interview...

[Anonymous]

You need to put the two car seats together - one side and one in the middle and give her an end seat at the minimum or you sit back there.

[Anonymous]

"eating everything" is never "I eat everything". It's super annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to put the two car seats together - one side and one in the middle and give her an end seat at the minimum or you sit back there.

+1. I have never put anyone in between our twins’ car seats. Shame on you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to put the two car seats together - one side and one in the middle and give her an end seat at the minimum or you sit back there.

I'm guessing that the children are kings in this lovely family and prefer the seats where they are. Hoping I'm wrong but nothing would surprise me about this fatphobic OP

[Anonymous]

Hello OP. I understand how upset you are.
She just got here so it's still time to have a talk with her about food.
Maybe she should eat separately if she's about to be a bad role model for your children.
And tell her she can help herself from what you usually buy.
I'd give her an extra $20 per week for special food and that's it.

You shouldn't fat shame her. You're not fat for nothing, there's always a psychological problem behind it, it can be abuse, a terrible childhood, rape etc, she's not just fat because she used to like eating.

You're the grown up here, also tell her that most au pairs who come to the US gain weight and that it's good to be careful but she has to eat healthy. Say it once, like a mom would tell it to her daughter and that's it.

She's young and can make mistakes, give her a chance to be a good AP and be frank about the food or it'll be a nightmare. Good luck !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to put the two car seats together - one side and one in the middle and give her an end seat at the minimum or you sit back there.

OP here. I would love to sit in the back, if au pair could drive well (which she also can't do nearly as well as she claimed. I doubt she had ANY regular driving experience before she came here, which she wasn't honest about, but none of them are). But she can't drive well (which is why her driving the second car is ALSO a problem in this situation). And my ill family member can't drive and shouldn't try to squeeze into the back (though she offered!). if a frail elderly person is offering to sit between the carseats (to drive to lunch 15 minutes away, not to drive to California), and the au pair balks, then YES, I have a problem with that. There is plenty of room and a seatbelt. And we were taking her out for a free lunch! Do we need to provide an extra car that she can't drive safely to transport her to a free lunch?!

The entitled au pair trolls on this board are ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

OP - I'd suggest a quick rematch - you don't like your AP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to put the two car seats together - one side and one in the middle and give her an end seat at the minimum or you sit back there.

OP here. I would love to sit in the back, if au pair could drive well (which she also can't do nearly as well as she claimed. I doubt she had ANY regular driving experience before she came here, which she wasn't honest about, but none of them are). But she can't drive well (which is why her driving the second car is ALSO a problem in this situation). And my ill family member can't drive and shouldn't try to squeeze into the back (though she offered!). if a frail elderly person is offering to sit between the carseats (to drive to lunch 15 minutes away, not to drive to California), and the au pair balks, then YES, I have a problem with that. There is plenty of room and a seatbelt. And we were taking her out for a free lunch! Do we need to provide an extra car that she can't drive safely to transport her to a free lunch?!

The entitled au pair trolls on this board are ridiculous.

You definitely need to rematch. This poor girl deserve better. You did skype with her right? Was she hiding behind a curtain? Or why are you so shocked by her appearance? I think what makes you undesirable is you.. not the location, etc. I would also be a lot more worried about teaching my children to be so horribly judgmental than I would teaching them bad eating habits. You can always model healthy eating.. however you seem ill-equipped to model kindness and understanding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to put the two car seats together - one side and one in the middle and give her an end seat at the minimum or you sit back there.

OP here. I would love to sit in the back, if au pair could drive well (which she also can't do nearly as well as she claimed. I doubt she had ANY regular driving experience before she came here, which she wasn't honest about, but none of them are). But she can't drive well (which is why her driving the second car is ALSO a problem in this situation). And my ill family member can't drive and shouldn't try to squeeze into the back (though she offered!). if a frail elderly person is offering to sit between the carseats (to drive to lunch 15 minutes away, not to drive to California), and the au pair balks, then YES, I have a problem with that. There is plenty of room and a seatbelt. And we were taking her out for a free lunch! Do we need to provide an extra car that she can't drive safely to transport her to a free lunch?!

The entitled au pair trolls on this board are ridiculous.

Nope. HM here. Please rematch, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to put the two car seats together - one side and one in the middle and give her an end seat at the minimum or you sit back there.

OP here. I would love to sit in the back, if au pair could drive well (which she also can't do nearly as well as she claimed. I doubt she had ANY regular driving experience before she came here, which she wasn't honest about, but none of them are). But she can't drive well (which is why her driving the second car is ALSO a problem in this situation). And my ill family member can't drive and shouldn't try to squeeze into the back (though she offered!). if a frail elderly person is offering to sit between the carseats (to drive to lunch 15 minutes away, not to drive to California), and the au pair balks, then YES, I have a problem with that. There is plenty of room and a seatbelt. And we were taking her out for a free lunch! Do we need to provide an extra car that she can't drive safely to transport her to a free lunch?!

The entitled au pair trolls on this board are ridiculous.

I think there are a lot of legit reasons why this AP is not working out for you. Please rematch. You resorted to fat-shaming, which is not okay.

There are lots of sanctimonious host moms who will basically claim that they fold the toilet paper for the AP so she can wipe comfortably too. Pay no attention to them either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to put the two car seats together - one side and one in the middle and give her an end seat at the minimum or you sit back there.

OP here. I would love to sit in the back, if au pair could drive well (which she also can't do nearly as well as she claimed. I doubt she had ANY regular driving experience before she came here, which she wasn't honest about, but none of them are). But she can't drive well (which is why her driving the second car is ALSO a problem in this situation). And my ill family member can't drive and shouldn't try to squeeze into the back (though she offered!). if a frail elderly person is offering to sit between the carseats (to drive to lunch 15 minutes away, not to drive to California), and the au pair balks, then YES, I have a problem with that. There is plenty of room and a seatbelt. And we were taking her out for a free lunch! Do we need to provide an extra car that she can't drive safely to transport her to a free lunch?!

The entitled au pair trolls on this board are ridiculous.

Why are comments like this ALWAYS the go to when a parent is getting called out on their horrific behavior. You suck as a person. It’s just that simple. Change you attitude and maybe, just maybe, things will get better for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to put the two car seats together - one side and one in the middle and give her an end seat at the minimum or you sit back there.

OP here. I would love to sit in the back, if au pair could drive well (which she also can't do nearly as well as she claimed. I doubt she had ANY regular driving experience before she came here, which she wasn't honest about, but none of them are). But she can't drive well (which is why her driving the second car is ALSO a problem in this situation). And my ill family member can't drive and shouldn't try to squeeze into the back (though she offered!). if a frail elderly person is offering to sit between the carseats (to drive to lunch 15 minutes away, not to drive to California), and the au pair balks, then YES, I have a problem with that. There is plenty of room and a seatbelt. And we were taking her out for a free lunch! Do we need to provide an extra car that she can't drive safely to transport her to a free lunch?!

The entitled au pair trolls on this board are ridiculous.

Why are comments like this ALWAYS the go to when a parent is getting called out on their horrific behavior. You suck as a person. It’s just that simple. Change you attitude and maybe, just maybe, things will get better for you.

+1 I commented on how awful the OP is and I am a HM.

[Anonymous]

The OP sounds frustrated and it seems like a crummy situation for all involved. Just rematch.

PS, we had an au pair who also said she ate everything, and we really tried to probe with do you like spicy? what do you not eat? Here is a list of things, what would you not eat? And it was everything sounds perfect.

She gets here and it's, oh, i need my own salt (she used the same salt that we did, i only eat white rice not brown, i don't drink regular milk only almond milk, and spicy is not good for me.

All would have been reasonable if communicated in advance!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to put the two car seats together - one side and one in the middle and give her an end seat at the minimum or you sit back there.

OP here. I would love to sit in the back, if au pair could drive well (which she also can't do nearly as well as she claimed. I doubt she had ANY regular driving experience before she came here, which she wasn't honest about, but none of them are). But she can't drive well (which is why her driving the second car is ALSO a problem in this situation). And my ill family member can't drive and shouldn't try to squeeze into the back (though she offered!). if a frail elderly person is offering to sit between the carseats (to drive to lunch 15 minutes away, not to drive to California), and the au pair balks, then YES, I have a problem with that. There is plenty of room and a seatbelt. And we were taking her out for a free lunch! Do we need to provide an extra car that she can't drive safely to transport her to a free lunch?!

The entitled au pair trolls on this board are ridiculous.

As far as I can see, none of the people telling you to rematch are AP. Most are HP, I’m a nanny.

You’re not happy with the AP. You’ve resorted to fat shaming, and there’s no way your attitude isn’t making an impression. Just rematch and be done with this situation.

[Anonymous]

New Poster here. Fat is not healthy. And we are a healthy family. We are not super thin, but we are in no way fat. Give it another month, then try again with a rematch.

can she keep up with the kids?