Au pair asked to live with us after year two

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think its unreasonable for her to watch the kids if she's living rent free. Or, charge her a few hundred in rent. The entire situation sounds like a bad idea you don't need the money. My kids love using our basement. Make it fun, bright, and comfortable.

Op don’t think it is unreasonable but it is illegal and AP is worked they might get in trouble.
So do are far for renting the place, why don’t you give her a few months rent free? Free rent for a while study is a lot to ask and if she is a reasonable AP she will be happy to get 6-12 months free while you are both figuring out what to do next.

She's living with a family and helps them out. She's not getting paid so what is the problem.

I am PP, OP says AP will not be helping out with childcare or anything, so what are you talking about? In any case although OP might have good intentions I don’t see this ending well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think its unreasonable for her to watch the kids if she's living rent free. Or, charge her a few hundred in rent. The entire situation sounds like a bad idea you don't need the money. My kids love using our basement. Make it fun, bright, and comfortable.

Op don’t think it is unreasonable but it is illegal and AP is worked they might get in trouble.
So do are far for renting the place, why don’t you give her a few months rent free? Free rent for a while study is a lot to ask and if she is a reasonable AP she will be happy to get 6-12 months free while you are both figuring out what to do next.

She's living with a family and helps them out. She's not getting paid so what is the problem.

I am PP, OP says AP will not be helping out with childcare or anything, so what are you talking about? In any case although OP might have good intentions I don’t see this ending well.

Its not going to end well. AP will eat and use the house for no work/pay. OP is looking for income from that basement.

[Anonymous]

Op here — i echo the sentiment that it’s not illegal to House a former AP on a student visa for no rent as long as she doesn’t work. Proving she doesn’t work may be an issue though — if it ever came to that I’d be prepared to show My payments to before and after care and any Venmo payments to local babysitters.

Anyway I’m just not sure. Not sure we want income from the basement either. Just thinking about my options. The biggest q is to get another AP or not? With the kids in before and after care (their choice! They love it!) an ap would have only a few benefits and potentially many headaches. My job has been more flexible than I expected so that is good. Still there’s the issue of sick days etc. but we can do what most people do and figure that out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here — i echo the sentiment that it’s not illegal to House a former AP on a student visa for no rent as long as she doesn’t work. Proving she doesn’t work may be an issue though — if it ever came to that I’d be prepared to show My payments to before and after care and any Venmo payments to local babysitters.

Anyway I’m just not sure. Not sure we want income from the basement either. Just thinking about my options. The biggest q is to get another AP or not? With the kids in before and after care (their choice! They love it!) an ap would have only a few benefits and potentially many headaches. My job has been more flexible than I expected so that is good. Still there’s the issue of sick days etc. but we can do what most people do and figure that out.

I just curious: how old are your kids?

[Anonymous]

Kids are early elementary. They have been doing before and after care ever since we got in off the wait list (2 months ago) and seem very happy with it. No issues with being tired etc.

[Anonymous]

We had an AP stay with us for a year after her 2nd year while she did a course on a student visa. We had put the kids in an after school care program and so she wasn't providing primary childcare for us but she did help us out with the kids as a member of family would do....she would walk them to the bus stop some mornings, help cut up fruit for their lunches, etc. If DH and I wanted to go out for dinner or something she would watch them. This was kind of our unwritten agreement...she was going to be an extra set of hands for us. It worked out great because she was the best AP ever. It woudlnt' have worked with any of our others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here — i echo the sentiment that it’s not illegal to House a former AP on a student visa for no rent as long as she doesn’t work. Proving she doesn’t work may be an issue though — if it ever came to that I’d be prepared to show My payments to before and after care and any Venmo payments to local babysitters.

Anyway I’m just not sure. Not sure we want income from the basement either. Just thinking about my options. The biggest q is to get another AP or not? With the kids in before and after care (their choice! They love it!) an ap would have only a few benefits and potentially many headaches. My job has been more flexible than I expected so that is good. Still there’s the issue of sick days etc. but we can do what most people do and figure that out.

If the kids are happy, no but it depends on your needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: We had an AP stay with us for a year after her 2nd year while she did a course on a student visa. We had put the kids in an after school care program and so she wasn't providing primary childcare for us but she did help us out with the kids as a member of family would do....she would walk them to the bus stop some mornings, help cut up fruit for their lunches, etc. If DH and I wanted to go out for dinner or something she would watch them. This was kind of our unwritten agreement...she was going to be an extra set of hands for us. It worked out great because she was the best AP ever. It woudlnt' have worked with any of our others.

This is a really great story! but it seems like OP's AP is asking to stay for as long as possible? (like maybe her whole study!). Did you have an agreement on how long this will be? Why did she move out after one year?

[Anonymous]

Op here. We’re currently hosting AP as an AP in her second year. She is really great, a true member of the family. She is asking to stay with us for what sounds like 2 years while she does community college. I like the idea of giving her a couple of months to find something. She is nervous that her parents won’t be able to afford an apartment in the dc area. I get it and I like having her around. Unlike the stage 5 clinger (hilarious!) she has her own space and is respectful of ours but also will linger after I get home from work to have dinner as a family and help clean up or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: We had an AP stay with us for a year after her 2nd year while she did a course on a student visa. We had put the kids in an after school care program and so she wasn't providing primary childcare for us but she did help us out with the kids as a member of family would do....she would walk them to the bus stop some mornings, help cut up fruit for their lunches, etc. If DH and I wanted to go out for dinner or something she would watch them. This was kind of our unwritten agreement...she was going to be an extra set of hands for us. It worked out great because she was the best AP ever. It woudlnt' have worked with any of our others.

This is a really great story! but it seems like OP's AP is asking to stay for as long as possible? (like maybe her whole study!). Did you have an agreement on how long this will be? Why did she move out after one year?

Ours only stayed one year because she wanted to share an apartment with some friends. She was dating someone and I think she just wanted more privacy. Turns out things were far more expensive and stressful than she thought they would be on her own. Her program was only 2 years so she went home after that second year on her own. We definitely would have allowed her back and in fact went back to the AP program after she left because we really like the flexibility of the AP program.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. We’re currently hosting AP as an AP in her second year. She is really great, a true member of the family. She is asking to stay with us for what sounds like 2 years while she does community college. I like the idea of giving her a couple of months to find something. She is nervous that her parents won’t be able to afford an apartment in the dc area. I get it and I like having her around. Unlike the stage 5 clinger (hilarious!) she has her own space and is respectful of ours but also will linger after I get home from work to have dinner as a family and help clean up or whatever.

My previous AP is also staying in the U.S. as a student (not in my home) and they ALL work illegally to pay rent and other stuffs, I hope she is not counting just on her parents support because that won't be enough. I think you can let her stay like PP as a family member which means she will be expected to help as a family member or you give her 6 months to figure out while you are also figuring out how life without AP is working for your family. Just let her know if things change and you need an AP soon or whatever she might have to move. She will probably meet a bf within the first few months and move out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. We’re currently hosting AP as an AP in her second year. She is really great, a true member of the family. She is asking to stay with us for what sounds like 2 years while she does community college. I like the idea of giving her a couple of months to find something. She is nervous that her parents won’t be able to afford an apartment in the dc area. I get it and I like having her around. Unlike the stage 5 clinger (hilarious!) she has her own space and is respectful of ours but also will linger after I get home from work to have dinner as a family and help clean up or whatever.

Are you prepared to keep her the two years and pay for utilities and food? Its nice to do that for her but its a big commitment on your part if you are paying for child care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think its unreasonable for her to watch the kids if she's living rent free. Or, charge her a few hundred in rent. The entire situation sounds like a bad idea you don't need the money. My kids love using our basement. Make it fun, bright, and comfortable.

Op don’t think it is unreasonable but it is illegal and AP is worked they might get in trouble.
So do are far for renting the place, why don’t you give her a few months rent free? Free rent for a while study is a lot to ask and if she is a reasonable AP she will be happy to get 6-12 months free while you are both figuring out what to do next.

She's living with a family and helps them out. She's not getting paid so what is the problem.

Because it violates the student visa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one wants to rent a room with a shared bathroom, so your market value for that is very, very low.

Also, no one wants to rent a room that comes with implied babysitting duties.

So basically, I think this works out if you don’t have a renter, you let the au pair live there for free, and you hire babysitters for other times.

Lolol, you obviously don't know how DC works for young professionals trying to afford housing.

I work with a ton of young fresh out of college kids and often it is 3 people sharing one bathroom. Only 2 sharing is a good situation.

You do realize the homes in DC that people rent are old. They don't have one bathroom per bedroom.

[Anonymous]

I was an Au Pair in a townhouse and I was living downstairs and would share the bathroom with another female that was renting a bedroom across from my own.
She was paying a low rent.

We didn't talk about rules but I was very respectful of her own space (would walk through her hallway very quickly, clean shoes etc) and we would clean the bathroom as needed.
I also made sure I wasn't making any noise that would bother her.

Everything went great. You can do it OP
Not everybody's clean or respectful though, i'd give a few written rules to everybody though