Au pair asked to live with us after year two

[Anonymous]

While on student visa. We have made it clear that she cannot work for us at all — we are both govt lawyers. We like her a lot and feel like she is family and I am inclined to let her live rent free in our smaller second spare room. She said her mom would buy her a car and pay for all her food. My only issue is: We want to try rent the main au pair room out to a us citizen college or grad student. The renter and the former au pair would share a bathroom. Would it be a hard living situation to have someone paying for a room sharing a bathroom with someone not paying for a room? Our au pair would be so grateful that I’m sure she would be respectful of the other student. And also if we need babysitting on weekends we would ask the American citizen or just someone other than the former aunpair. Kids would be in before and aftercare. Give it to me straight.

[Anonymous]

No one wants to rent a room with a shared bathroom, so your market value for that is very, very low.

Also, no one wants to rent a room that comes with implied babysitting duties.

So basically, I think this works out if you don’t have a renter, you let the au pair live there for free, and you hire babysitters for other times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one wants to rent a room with a shared bathroom, so your market value for that is very, very low.

Also, no one wants to rent a room that comes with implied babysitting duties.

So basically, I think this works out if you don’t have a renter, you let the au pair live there for free, and you hire babysitters for other times.

This sounds like a really bad idea. No one is going to want the shared bathroom in a home with the former aupair and kids with the expectation they babysit. You need another aupair. Except if you are charging $200 a month plus paying for the babysitting. Most adults don't want to babysit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one wants to rent a room with a shared bathroom, so your market value for that is very, very low.

Also, no one wants to rent a room that comes with implied babysitting duties.

So basically, I think this works out if you don’t have a renter, you let the au pair live there for free, and you hire babysitters for other times.

This sounds like a really bad idea. No one is going to want the shared bathroom in a home with the former aupair and kids with the expectation they babysit. You need another aupair. Except if you are charging $200 a month plus paying for the babysitting. Most adults don't want to babysit.

Not sure I understand what the sentence starting with “except...” means In the context of the response. Anyway, there wouldn’t be implied babysitting unless the renter wanted to make $. There are other options for that. You think the rent for a room with a shared bathroom would be minimal? It’s a nice room. Very close to georgetown and the univ hospital. I’ll have to check out the comps in the neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one wants to rent a room with a shared bathroom, so your market value for that is very, very low.

Also, no one wants to rent a room that comes with implied babysitting duties.

So basically, I think this works out if you don’t have a renter, you let the au pair live there for free, and you hire babysitters for other times.

This sounds like a really bad idea. No one is going to want the shared bathroom in a home with the former aupair and kids with the expectation they babysit. You need another aupair. Except if you are charging $200 a month plus paying for the babysitting. Most adults don't want to babysit.

Not sure I understand what the sentence starting with “except...” means In the context of the response. Anyway, there wouldn’t be implied babysitting unless the renter wanted to make $. There are other options for that. You think the rent for a room with a shared bathroom would be minimal? It’s a nice room. Very close to georgetown and the univ hospital. I’ll have to check out the comps in the neighborhood.

I rented rooms in my 20's. I'd run from that situation. No one wants to live with a family and a shared bathroom for a premium price, especially if you are asked to babysit. Plus, do you want to expose your kids to a stranger in your house. It sounds like you cannot afford your house or lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

It’s not how nice the room is. The issue is that your renter will be the fourth adult, there are some kids there, and there is a shared bathroom.

So compared to the dorms, private apartments, and roommates that are peers, this situation is undesirable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While on student visa. We have made it clear that she cannot work for us at all — we are both govt lawyers. We like her a lot and feel like she is family and I am inclined to let her live rent free in our smaller second spare room. She said her mom would buy her a car and pay for all her food. My only issue is: We want to try rent the main au pair room out to a us citizen college or grad student. The renter and the former au pair would share a bathroom. Would it be a hard living situation to have someone paying for a room sharing a bathroom with someone not paying for a room? Our au pair would be so grateful that I’m sure she would be respectful of the other student. And also if we need babysitting on weekends we would ask the American citizen or just someone other than the former aunpair. Kids would be in before and aftercare. Give it to me straight.

Why would you tell the renter that AP isn’t paying rent?

[Anonymous]

Lot of people commenting here have no idea what the DC rental market is like. This is probably a basement apartment, not a room in the house. And yes you will probably find someone to share the apartment with AP (assuming basement apartment). But as PP said, why would you tell renter about your deal with AP? If they don't know they would no care. However AP might say something by mistake and bring some resentment.

As much as you love the AP, i think you are setting yourself up for failure. Everyone I have heard from my APs who does this just illegally hire AP to do aftercare and babysitting. If you didn't need the extra rent, I will say go for it, let the AP stay rent free. But the fact that you need to rent the other room to someone else makes the situation very complicated. You will find someone but they will probably not stay too long.

If I was you I would give AP 3 months to get her sh$it together and then she move out and you rent your place without the complication. It is not worth the hassle IMO.

[Anonymous]

What is the set up OP? Is it a basement setting with a bathroom and 2 bedrooms? Is there a living room area or small kitchen?

Do they have to share the living room and kitchen with you?

[Anonymous]

I think the situation could work as long as you ask AP upfront not to discuss rent with the incoming tenant. Basically, AP is part of family but renter will not be.

As for the shared bathroom, when you advertise your room, just make sure it is advertised with a shared bathroom. It shouldn't be a problem at all. Many places in that area are rented out with shared bathrooms.

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone. Op here. So, we don’t need the rent but it would be nice to have since we don’t use the AP room (relatives rarely stay here bc most family is nearby and my out of town family prefers to stay in hotels ????). I’m on the fence about what to do with the whole area. It can be converted into a full basement apartment with two decent size bedrooms) and a bathroom, fridge and tiny kitchen. I think DH would prefer not to close off the basement because he uses his exercise bike there and very occasionally we will use the second TV down there. My kids are still youngish (early elementary) and still prefer to play in the main floor near mom and dad, so we don’t use the basement all that often. If we did the work and closed off the basement we could charge a decent rent and have real tenants (a couple, for example) but I’m not sure we’re there yet. This would be sort of testing the waters. The AP complicated things. We like her a lot I just don’t want to find myself resentful of not being able to ask her to watch the kids while living rent free. And no we wouldn’t tell the other tenant she pays no rent but I have to imagine she would figure it out sooner or later.

[Anonymous]

I don't think its unreasonable for her to watch the kids if she's living rent free. Or, charge her a few hundred in rent. The entire situation sounds like a bad idea you don't need the money. My kids love using our basement. Make it fun, bright, and comfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think its unreasonable for her to watch the kids if she's living rent free. Or, charge her a few hundred in rent. The entire situation sounds like a bad idea you don't need the money. My kids love using our basement. Make it fun, bright, and comfortable.

Op don’t think it is unreasonable but it is illegal and AP is worked they might get in trouble.
So do are far for renting the place, why don’t you give her a few months rent free? Free rent for a while study is a lot to ask and if she is a reasonable AP she will be happy to get 6-12 months free while you are both figuring out what to do next.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think its unreasonable for her to watch the kids if she's living rent free. Or, charge her a few hundred in rent. The entire situation sounds like a bad idea you don't need the money. My kids love using our basement. Make it fun, bright, and comfortable.

Op don’t think it is unreasonable but it is illegal and AP is worked they might get in trouble.
So do are far for renting the place, why don’t you give her a few months rent free? Free rent for a while study is a lot to ask and if she is a reasonable AP she will be happy to get 6-12 months free while you are both figuring out what to do next.

*worried

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think its unreasonable for her to watch the kids if she's living rent free. Or, charge her a few hundred in rent. The entire situation sounds like a bad idea you don't need the money. My kids love using our basement. Make it fun, bright, and comfortable.

Op don’t think it is unreasonable but it is illegal and AP is worked they might get in trouble.
So do are far for renting the place, why don’t you give her a few months rent free? Free rent for a while study is a lot to ask and if she is a reasonable AP she will be happy to get 6-12 months free while you are both figuring out what to do next.

She's living with a family and helps them out. She's not getting paid so what is the problem.