Temporary changing au pair room?
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Anonymous
It's OP's house and she pays the mortgage! |
Anonymous
| We haven't had AP switch bedrooms, but we have had her share bathrooms with guests. Current AP is easygoing and it was fine. |
Anonymous
| Yikes. Not oK. Surprised you even are considering this. |
Anonymous
NP. Not sure what is surprising about this. I think this is better than sharing room as other PP suggested. Maybe ask your LCC what they think? |
Anonymous
OP should give up her room for her sister. Not take the AuPairs. This is just common sense. What, are you all living in the real life version of The Help? |
Anonymous
I am op and happy to give my room, but how does that solve the problem of 3-4 people in one tiny bedroom and 6 people sharing one bath? The basement room is the biggest room in the house, currently has a queen bed and could take another queen mattress on the floor and still some extra space. I am Just thinking logistics here. Maybe this not such a big deal for me because I didn’t grow up with wealth and privilege and our family always adapted to accommodate guests with no issue whatsoever. And sorry I guess “AP being part of the family” only counts where we are taking them out to dinner and vacation! |
Anonymous
Let me get this straight: you are not an AP host and you tell host families they can’t afford it? Do you even know how much it costs? Only on DCurb! |
Anonymous
| Depending the age of your kids, you either put them in a room or your room and give them the extra room or figure out how else to make it work. You you sleep in the guest room and give them the master. |
Anonymous
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I agree it’s a bad idea especially if for 1-2 weeks!
If you ask she will say yes because it is your house and does she actually genuinely have the freedom to say no? Of course not, so I wouldn’t ask. She is used to having her private quarters, having to live in close proximity to the children at all times (meaning being woken up or kept up by them in the morning or at night) when she is used to having her personal space (and you yours) might seriously alter/sour your relationship. I wouldn’t risk it. If you want her to feel like a part of your family, then treat her like she is. Your sister is the one visiting and if she doesn’t have the budget for an hotel then she should adapt to the space available (I wouldn’t expect someone to give up their room for me and my children if I was to visit somewhere, including family). I would be uncomfortable with someone I don’t know having access to my space and my things (unless you expect your AP to move all of her things out of her space which would be extremely uncomfortable) and it would make me feel very out of place to have to ask permission to enter my room to retrieve items I have left there and would make me feel very much like a guest in my own house, which I think would be worse for an AP. Don’t do it. Either have your sister kids sleep in the guest room and your sister in the living room or help them budget for an Airbnb/hotel. |
Anonymous
| I meant to say «extremely unreasonable» |
Anonymous
I'd your justification for this is that you didn't grow up with money (which is stupid, neither did I, I am black and was poor AF with 7 siblings in a rent controlled apartment) then your kids should move into your bedroom.and your sister, with the same upbringing should easily adapt to sharing the upstairs space, because you didn't grow ho with priviledge and all and she can adapt, as can you. Problem solved. Kids in your room, sister and her family now have 2, maybe 3 bedrooms. Done. |
Anonymous
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OP, I understand your dilemma, but don’t do it. Yes, AP will agree, but it might impact your relationship. It will underscore that it is your house, and AP is just a “guest” there. You say AP quarters are “apartment”. If there is a separate living/sitting/game room there that currently primarily used by AP (in addition to her private bedroom), putting a mattress on the floor there is a fair game. Depending on how the space is organized people on that mattress might get access to APs bathroom. Also putting a mattress in the family/living room of the house should be fine.
Many years ago, my husband and I visited my aunt with a baby. They invited us. To make room for us she made her adult son (my cousin) move into their home office (that had a sofa bed). I did not realize that arrangement until we arrived. I never was close to my cousin, but it was extremely uncomfortable for me, the entire stay, and talking to the cousin at breakfasts/meals. I felt like I was intruding on him, as he was not part of the decision to invite us. And that was only 2 days! You can afford childcare. Your house might not be big enough to host 4 extra people comfortably for 2 weeks. “Comfortably” is a key word here. There is no shame in that. It is a lot of extra people to host for a long time. After that incident with my aunt I never stay at relatives home when I travel (there are 5 or 6 of us now depending if you count AP), and yes that scaled down amount of traveling we do. In general: you reduce comfort for traveling people and people who made decision that the travel happens. You don’t reduce comfort of adults that are not part of the decision making. |
Anonymous
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NO its not ok. Your guest room is your kids room, you can't move your AP to your kids room.
What happens if you have more family visiting? Are you going to ask her to move each time? Be respectful of your AP |
Anonymous
| I think its funny how your basement sounds bigger than the rest of your house.............. |
Anonymous
| Last I knew, you were required to have the LCC view and approve the bedroom before AP could be put in it. So, loop in LCC and AP for a conversation, make it clear that it will be 1-2 weeks and see how it goes. |