Our nanny is pushing to sleep train

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op doesn't want to sleep train so the baby's exhausted when she gets home and she doesn't have to deal with him or her they just go to sleep.

Sounds to me like a chronically overtired baby who wakes a lot at night and naps poorly. OP doesn't want to sleep train because it makes her feel special when baby needs her all night, but nanny has to actually deal with the exhausted, miserable baby the next day.

OR, more likely, when nanny says she wants to sleep train she wants to be allowed to CIO and OP is opposed to CIO which is her right as a parent.

It's also the parent's "right" to hunt for a new nanny every couple of months. But perhaps the child should have a right to a stable caregiver.

Not via child neglect.

Sleep training does not equal CIO. There are gentle ways to make sure the baby get enough sleep during the day and at night and breaks the overtired habit.

Op: If you like the nanny why don't you have a veneration about your baby's sleep and what you think the needs are and hear your nanny out what she thinks the needs are. And then figure out how to get the baby good day sleep and good night sleep. The baby will be happier and easier to manage. And no cio is necessary. 6 months is a great age to start some sleep shaping and following cues and making sure he's not overly exhausted and he will sleep easier and better if you focus on that for a while.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op doesn't want to sleep train so the baby's exhausted when she gets home and she doesn't have to deal with him or her they just go to sleep.

Sounds to me like a chronically overtired baby who wakes a lot at night and naps poorly. OP doesn't want to sleep train because it makes her feel special when baby needs her all night, but nanny has to actually deal with the exhausted, miserable baby the next day.

OR, more likely, when nanny says she wants to sleep train she wants to be allowed to CIO and OP is opposed to CIO which is her right as a parent.

It's also the parent's "right" to hunt for a new nanny every couple of months. But perhaps the child should have a right to a stable caregiver.

Not via child neglect.

Sleep training does not equal CIO. There are gentle ways to make sure the baby get enough sleep during the day and at night and breaks the overtired habit.

Op: If you like the nanny why don't you have a veneration about your baby's sleep and what you think the needs are and hear your nanny out what she thinks the needs are. And then figure out how to get the baby good day sleep and good night sleep. The baby will be happier and easier to manage. And no cio is necessary. 6 months is a great age to start some sleep shaping and following cues and making sure he's not overly exhausted and he will sleep easier and better if you focus on that for a while.

I agree. However, that is what most people mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op doesn't want to sleep train so the baby's exhausted when she gets home and she doesn't have to deal with him or her they just go to sleep.

Sounds to me like a chronically overtired baby who wakes a lot at night and naps poorly. OP doesn't want to sleep train because it makes her feel special when baby needs her all night, but nanny has to actually deal with the exhausted, miserable baby the next day.

OR, more likely, when nanny says she wants to sleep train she wants to be allowed to CIO and OP is opposed to CIO which is her right as a parent.

It's also the parent's "right" to hunt for a new nanny every couple of months. But perhaps the child should have a right to a stable caregiver.

Not via child neglect.

Sleep training does not equal CIO. There are gentle ways to make sure the baby get enough sleep during the day and at night and breaks the overtired habit.

Op: If you like the nanny why don't you have a veneration about your baby's sleep and what you think the needs are and hear your nanny out what she thinks the needs are. And then figure out how to get the baby good day sleep and good night sleep. The baby will be happier and easier to manage. And no cio is necessary. 6 months is a great age to start some sleep shaping and following cues and making sure he's not overly exhausted and he will sleep easier and better if you focus on that for a while.

I agree. However, that is what most people mean.

I agree with PP. If a nanny said to me that she wanted to ST my child, bet you that she means some form of CIO. Gentle / no-CIO ST is MUCH, MUCH MORE WORK and why would a nanny volunteer to put in that extra work when they are not getting paid for it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op doesn't want to sleep train so the baby's exhausted when she gets home and she doesn't have to deal with him or her they just go to sleep.

Sounds to me like a chronically overtired baby who wakes a lot at night and naps poorly. OP doesn't want to sleep train because it makes her feel special when baby needs her all night, but nanny has to actually deal with the exhausted, miserable baby the next day.

OR, more likely, when nanny says she wants to sleep train she wants to be allowed to CIO and OP is opposed to CIO which is her right as a parent.

It's also the parent's "right" to hunt for a new nanny every couple of months. But perhaps the child should have a right to a stable caregiver.

Not via child neglect.

Sleep training does not equal CIO. There are gentle ways to make sure the baby get enough sleep during the day and at night and breaks the overtired habit.

Op: If you like the nanny why don't you have a veneration about your baby's sleep and what you think the needs are and hear your nanny out what she thinks the needs are. And then figure out how to get the baby good day sleep and good night sleep. The baby will be happier and easier to manage. And no cio is necessary. 6 months is a great age to start some sleep shaping and following cues and making sure he's not overly exhausted and he will sleep easier and better if you focus on that for a while.

I agree. However, that is what most people mean.

I agree with PP. If a nanny said to me that she wanted to ST my child, bet you that she means some form of CIO. Gentle / no-CIO ST is MUCH, MUCH MORE WORK and why would a nanny volunteer to put in that extra work when they are not getting paid for it?

Maybe because the nanny actually cares about her charges and wants them to be healthy and happy? What a shitty thing to say about nannies. I am sure your low opinion is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op doesn't want to sleep train so the baby's exhausted when she gets home and she doesn't have to deal with him or her they just go to sleep.

Sounds to me like a chronically overtired baby who wakes a lot at night and naps poorly. OP doesn't want to sleep train because it makes her feel special when baby needs her all night, but nanny has to actually deal with the exhausted, miserable baby the next day.

OR, more likely, when nanny says she wants to sleep train she wants to be allowed to CIO and OP is opposed to CIO which is her right as a parent.

It's also the parent's "right" to hunt for a new nanny every couple of months. But perhaps the child should have a right to a stable caregiver.

Not via child neglect.

Sleep training does not equal CIO. There are gentle ways to make sure the baby get enough sleep during the day and at night and breaks the overtired habit.

Op: If you like the nanny why don't you have a veneration about your baby's sleep and what you think the needs are and hear your nanny out what she thinks the needs are. And then figure out how to get the baby good day sleep and good night sleep. The baby will be happier and easier to manage. And no cio is necessary. 6 months is a great age to start some sleep shaping and following cues and making sure he's not overly exhausted and he will sleep easier and better if you focus on that for a while.

I agree. However, that is what most people mean.

I agree with PP. If a nanny said to me that she wanted to ST my child, bet you that she means some form of CIO. Gentle / no-CIO ST is MUCH, MUCH MORE WORK and why would a nanny volunteer to put in that extra work when they are not getting paid for it?

Maybe because the nanny actually cares about her charges and wants them to be healthy and happy? What a shitty thing to say about nannies. I am sure your low opinion is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

+1,000,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op doesn't want to sleep train so the baby's exhausted when she gets home and she doesn't have to deal with him or her they just go to sleep.

Sounds to me like a chronically overtired baby who wakes a lot at night and naps poorly. OP doesn't want to sleep train because it makes her feel special when baby needs her all night, but nanny has to actually deal with the exhausted, miserable baby the next day.

OR, more likely, when nanny says she wants to sleep train she wants to be allowed to CIO and OP is opposed to CIO which is her right as a parent.

It's also the parent's "right" to hunt for a new nanny every couple of months. But perhaps the child should have a right to a stable caregiver.

Not via child neglect.

Sleep training does not equal CIO. There are gentle ways to make sure the baby get enough sleep during the day and at night and breaks the overtired habit.

Op: If you like the nanny why don't you have a veneration about your baby's sleep and what you think the needs are and hear your nanny out what she thinks the needs are. And then figure out how to get the baby good day sleep and good night sleep. The baby will be happier and easier to manage. And no cio is necessary. 6 months is a great age to start some sleep shaping and following cues and making sure he's not overly exhausted and he will sleep easier and better if you focus on that for a while.

I agree. However, that is what most people mean.

I agree with PP. If a nanny said to me that she wanted to ST my child, bet you that she means some form of CIO. Gentle / no-CIO ST is MUCH, MUCH MORE WORK and why would a nanny volunteer to put in that extra work when they are not getting paid for it?

Maybe because the nanny actually cares about her charges and wants them to be healthy and happy? What a shitty thing to say about nannies. I am sure your low opinion is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Not PP, but many nannies are like that. I nannied for years and one of my closest nanny friends was constantly talking about how she couldn't handle sleep, it made her so angry, parents wouldn't allow CIO so she just did it anyway and lied to the parents about how she got them sleeping. Her kids would cry until they shit themselves, and she would just change them and start again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op doesn't want to sleep train so the baby's exhausted when she gets home and she doesn't have to deal with him or her they just go to sleep.

Sounds to me like a chronically overtired baby who wakes a lot at night and naps poorly. OP doesn't want to sleep train because it makes her feel special when baby needs her all night, but nanny has to actually deal with the exhausted, miserable baby the next day.

OR, more likely, when nanny says she wants to sleep train she wants to be allowed to CIO and OP is opposed to CIO which is her right as a parent.

It's also the parent's "right" to hunt for a new nanny every couple of months. But perhaps the child should have a right to a stable caregiver.

Not via child neglect.

Sleep training does not equal CIO. There are gentle ways to make sure the baby get enough sleep during the day and at night and breaks the overtired habit.

Op: If you like the nanny why don't you have a veneration about your baby's sleep and what you think the needs are and hear your nanny out what she thinks the needs are. And then figure out how to get the baby good day sleep and good night sleep. The baby will be happier and easier to manage. And no cio is necessary. 6 months is a great age to start some sleep shaping and following cues and making sure he's not overly exhausted and he will sleep easier and better if you focus on that for a while.

I agree. However, that is what most people mean.

I agree with PP. If a nanny said to me that she wanted to ST my child, bet you that she means some form of CIO. Gentle / no-CIO ST is MUCH, MUCH MORE WORK and why would a nanny volunteer to put in that extra work when they are not getting paid for it?

Maybe because the nanny actually cares about her charges and wants them to be healthy and happy? What a shitty thing to say about nannies. I am sure your low opinion is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Not PP, but many nannies are like that. I nannied for years and one of my closest nanny friends was constantly talking about how she couldn't handle sleep, it made her so angry, parents wouldn't allow CIO so she just did it anyway and lied to the parents about how she got them sleeping. Her kids would cry until they shit themselves, and she would just change them and start again.

Yes, and I watched a news report once about a family who tortured and murdered their child, so obviously all parents are secretly like that.

The fact that you know one person who is a terrible nanny does not mean that all of the other people in this industry are selfish, self-centered, and lazy. If I am advising a family I work with to change something about the sleep habits or discipline routine or feeding plan, it is almost always because my years of experience and the research I have done tell me that it is the best thing for their child. On occasion when I am asking them to change something primarily to make my life more convenient, I tell them so upfront and explain why the current system is making it difficult for me to juggle everything I have to accomplish on the job. This is rare, but I have asked families to tweak a nap schedule so that I have time to get the kids out of the house for a certain activity or something else that benefits me rather than directly benefiting the children. I think that my own example counts exactly as much as your (possibly made up) example of your abusive friend.

[Anonymous]

Former nanny here, and I have known many nannies to sleep train via CIO against parent wishes. If you don't have w nanny cam you have no idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op doesn't want to sleep train so the baby's exhausted when she gets home and she doesn't have to deal with him or her they just go to sleep.

Sounds to me like a chronically overtired baby who wakes a lot at night and naps poorly. OP doesn't want to sleep train because it makes her feel special when baby needs her all night, but nanny has to actually deal with the exhausted, miserable baby the next day.

OR, more likely, when nanny says she wants to sleep train she wants to be allowed to CIO and OP is opposed to CIO which is her right as a parent.

It's also the parent's "right" to hunt for a new nanny every couple of months. But perhaps the child should have a right to a stable caregiver.

Not via child neglect.

Sleep training does not equal CIO. There are gentle ways to make sure the baby get enough sleep during the day and at night and breaks the overtired habit.

Op: If you like the nanny why don't you have a veneration about your baby's sleep and what you think the needs are and hear your nanny out what she thinks the needs are. And then figure out how to get the baby good day sleep and good night sleep. The baby will be happier and easier to manage. And no cio is necessary. 6 months is a great age to start some sleep shaping and following cues and making sure he's not overly exhausted and he will sleep easier and better if you focus on that for a while.

I agree. However, that is what most people mean.

I agree with PP. If a nanny said to me that she wanted to ST my child, bet you that she means some form of CIO. Gentle / no-CIO ST is MUCH, MUCH MORE WORK and why would a nanny volunteer to put in that extra work when they are not getting paid for it?

Maybe because the nanny actually cares about her charges and wants them to be healthy and happy? What a shitty thing to say about nannies. I am sure your low opinion is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

PP at 15:03. Not at all. I'm not painting all nannies with the same brush, my kid's nanny actually couldn't handle ST and the tears involved so I had to do it mostly by myself. The fact is that the vast majority of successful ST involves some CIO and conversely, gentle ST works but rarely. A nanny who feels so at the end of her rope as to suggest ST more likely than not will want to take the route that is most likely to lead to success: CIO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 6month old daughter is sleeping like crap and we haven't really found a solution to help her sleep. My nanny mentioned sleep training just about every day now. I feel she's to young.

She also watched my 3 year old son (he is in preschool now) at that age and we did not sleep train him he fell into a nice sleeping pattern without any sleep training.

OP, if the nanny has been with you for three years, she is presumably a good nanny who treats your children well.

Based on this, I think she is suggesting sleep training because she knows getting good sleep makes the world of difference for the baby's behavior and well-being. A well rested baby is just a completely different creature and much happier and fun to be around.

We've sleep-trained our daughter at 9 months but only because we were not in a position to do so earlier (didn't have her own room). If we could, we would have done it earlier. I cannot tell you what difference it has made for the entire family. When you go to your child in the morning after ELEVEN hours of uninterrupted sleep, and you see a smiling, bouncing, cooing baby in the crib who had a long, restful night and is now ready to have an awesome day, you know in your heart that sleeping through the night is what that baby needs. Do what you need to do to get her there. Your nanny knows that too.

[Anonymous]

We sleep trained from 6 weeks because we had twins and our nanny wanted to do it. Been great sleepers since 12 weeks, , even when they moved into a bed from the crib. Now they are 3 and it's still going well. Sleep training is a sanity saver!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We sleep trained from 6 weeks because we had twins and our nanny wanted to do it. Been great sleepers since 12 weeks, , even when they moved into a bed from the crib. Now they are 3 and it's still going well. Sleep training is a sanity saver!

Wow, how does one sleep train a 6 week old?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We sleep trained from 6 weeks because we had twins and our nanny wanted to do it. Been great sleepers since 12 weeks, , even when they moved into a bed from the crib. Now they are 3 and it's still going well. Sleep training is a sanity saver!

Wow, how does one sleep train a 6 week old?

IDK how 14:20 did it, but you can start "training" from day one by practicing good sleep habits. I just finished working with preemie twins, who are sleeping from 7p - 7a at 10 weeks adjusted age. Feed during the day instead of waking to eat at night (once Ped. gives the OK), swaddle, white noise, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We sleep trained from 6 weeks because we had twins and our nanny wanted to do it. Been great sleepers since 12 weeks, , even when they moved into a bed from the crib. Now they are 3 and it's still going well. Sleep training is a sanity saver!

Wow, how does one sleep train a 6 week old?

IDK how 14:20 did it, but you can start "training" from day one by practicing good sleep habits. I just finished working with preemie twins, who are sleeping from 7p - 7a at 10 weeks adjusted age. Feed during the day instead of waking to eat at night (once Ped. gives the OK), swaddle, white noise, etc.

This is true, but not all babies will respond to that or can go without eating at night at 6 weeks old.

[Anonymous]

Probably aren't actually sleep trained . It's likely a function of their being premature.