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Reply to "Our nanny is pushing to sleep train "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op doesn't want to sleep train so the baby's exhausted when she gets home and she doesn't have to deal with him or her they just go to sleep. [/quote] Sounds to me like a chronically overtired baby who wakes a lot at night and naps poorly. OP doesn't want to sleep train because it makes her feel special when baby needs her all night, but nanny has to actually deal with the exhausted, miserable baby the next day.[/quote] OR, more likely, when nanny says she wants to sleep train she wants to be allowed to CIO and OP is opposed to CIO which is her right as a parent. [/quote] It's also the parent's "right" to hunt for a new nanny every couple of months. But perhaps the child should have a right to a stable caregiver.[/quote] Not via child neglect. [/quote] Sleep training does not equal CIO. There are gentle ways to make sure the baby get enough sleep during the day and at night and breaks the overtired habit. Op: If you like the nanny why don't you have a veneration about your baby's sleep and what you think the needs are and hear your nanny out what she thinks the needs are. And then figure out how to get the baby good day sleep and good night sleep. The baby will be happier and easier to manage. And no cio is necessary. 6 months is a great age to start some sleep shaping and following cues and making sure he's not overly exhausted and he will sleep easier and better if you focus on that for a while. [/quote] I agree. However, that is what most people mean. [/quote] I agree with PP. If a nanny said to me that she wanted to ST my child, bet you that she means some form of CIO. Gentle / no-CIO ST is MUCH, MUCH MORE WORK and why would a nanny volunteer to put in that extra work when they are not getting paid for it?[/quote] Maybe because the nanny actually cares about her charges and wants them to be healthy and happy? What a shitty thing to say about nannies. I am sure your low opinion is a self-fulfilling prophecy.[/quote] Not PP, but many nannies are like that. I nannied for years and one of my closest nanny friends was constantly talking about how she couldn't handle sleep, it made her so angry, parents wouldn't allow CIO so she just did it anyway and lied to the parents about how she got them sleeping. Her kids would cry until they shit themselves, and she would just change them and start again. [/quote] Yes, and I watched a news report once about a family who tortured and murdered their child, so obviously all parents are secretly like that. The fact that you know one person who is a terrible nanny does not mean that all of the other people in this industry are selfish, self-centered, and lazy. If I am advising a family I work with to change something about the sleep habits or discipline routine or feeding plan, it is almost always because my years of experience and the research I have done tell me that it is the best thing for their child. On occasion when I am asking them to change something primarily to make my life more convenient, I tell them so upfront and explain why the current system is making it difficult for me to juggle everything I have to accomplish on the job. This is rare, but I have asked families to tweak a nap schedule so that I have time to get the kids out of the house for a certain activity or something else that benefits me rather than directly benefiting the children. I think that my own example counts exactly as much as your (possibly made up) example of your abusive friend. [/quote]
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