MB continually asks me to do things she, herself, cannot or will not do.

[Anonymous]

I just hope she appreciated you, OP, and thanks you often.

[Anonymous]

My MB has three kids and has never clipped an infants nails. She is now comfortable doing, but didn't until they were at least 2. DB did once, but sliced the baby's skin and then neither he nor she ever did it again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The nature of a job is paying someone else to do thing you don't have the time, desire, or ability to do. Welcome to the working world.

And which "working world" is this, PP? I have 23 people reporting to me and would never ask any of them to do something that I cannot, or have not, done.

You have 23 direct reports? That's crazy! I have 5 direct reports and they all have 4-6 reports under them. Can't imagine 23. Nightmare!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The nature of a job is paying someone else to do thing you don't have the time, desire, or ability to do. Welcome to the working world.

I'm a MB, and I will bite. I have a nanny for many more hours than I work (I work very part time). Here is why. Without a nanny, I do not have the

1. Time: to spend one-on-one time with all four children every day. Cook a dinner which takes an hour. Go to appointments. Exercise. Nap if the baby was up all night.
2. Desire: to play kid games like Candyland. Go to the park and swing, and swing, and swing. Go to every week of Music Together, or My Gym. Drive, drive, drive.
3. Ability: to give baths (I can, but I have a bad back, and I specifically hired a nanny to take this chore off my plate. I cannot bend over for even the short time it takes to bathe a toddler without a lot of pain). to come up with "fun" motivations for cleaning or other "have-to-dos." My nanny has an ECE degree; she has lots of ideas for activities I would never come up with.

Totally understood.

I worked 24/7 for a DB, reasons listed below.

1. Time: When all food is cooked from scratch, there's no housekeeper (other than nanny and family), it's a single parent household and that parent works on call every day, and works a job until it's finished, even if it means he's away for a week, he needs someone more than the normal 40-55 hours a week.
2. Desire: Conservative family, raising girls to be wives and mothers, boys to be husbands and providers. Dad models the behavior he wants to see for his boys when they are adult, so doesn't do cooking, housework or childcare. Anything that breaks is fair game for anyone capable of fixing it who has time and inclination.
3. Ability: I was hired because I know how to educate and motivate kids, and his kids were homeschooled. He also can't boil water, let alone cook a meal for 7 hungry kids. Yes, he could do housework, but not in the amount of time I can, and he doesn't have the patience to teach children how to do it. No, he knows he's not good at childcare, he either gets very frustrated and scares the kids (hit at them more than once until I spoke to him about it) or lets them get away with murder. He's also incapable of fastening a diaper so that it doesn't fall off...

Overall, he pays for 24/7 care from someone who wants to be the mother figure, and he gets precisely that. He stays the father figure (in a very antiquated, conservative way, but that's his style), and he's happy with that.

[Anonymous]

Boy OP, you sure are a trooper (no pun intended here) for walking four miles a day taking your charge to his activities.

I would be livid, even more so knowing that his mother doesn't even do that! If she wants you to take her son to a daytime activity AND it is two miles away, then she should allow you to drive there. Most especially since she does.

I think it is hypocritical of her to ask you to do things that she knows are not easy to do alone. I wouldn't take this as a compliment, I would take it as an insult. It's like she acknowledges these things are hard to do, but since you are a nanny, you shouldn't complain about doing them since you are just "a nanny." And she can ask you to do anything + either you comply or lose your job.

Since you are not interested in quitting, then there really is nothing else I can say.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your boss may have severe anxiety. I had really bad post-partum anxiety and was afraid to be alone with the baby or drive her by myself until I got on medication and in therapy.

Anyway, unless any of these things are too difficult for you, I'd just take it as a compliment and go about your business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boy OP, you sure are a trooper (no pun intended here) for walking four miles a day taking your charge to his activities.

I would be livid, even more so knowing that his mother doesn't even do that! If she wants you to take her son to a daytime activity AND it is two miles away, then she should allow you to drive there. Most especially since she does.

I think it is hypocritical of her to ask you to do things that she knows are not easy to do alone. I wouldn't take this as a compliment, I would take it as an insult. It's like she acknowledges these things are hard to do, but since you are a nanny, you shouldn't complain about doing them since you are just "a nanny." And she can ask you to do anything + either you comply or lose your job.

Since you are not interested in quitting, then there really is nothing else I can say.

Except none of what OP describes sounds difficult to do alone. Giving a bath? Using the stove? Taking a walk? These are pretty basic things that mom's, dad's, and nannies do all the time. That's why I think the MB may have anxiety. But I certainly don't think OP should be insulted. It's good that she can handle these common tasks. Obviously something's up with MB, but it does not sound like she's asking OP to do anything unreasonable for a nanny to do. So why should OP waste energy feeling insulted?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The nature of a job is paying someone else to do thing you don't have the time, desire, or ability to do. Welcome to the working world.

I'm a MB, and I will bite. I have a nanny for many more hours than I work (I work very part time). Here is why. Without a nanny, I do not have the

1. Time: to spend one-on-one time with all four children every day. Cook a dinner which takes an hour. Go to appointments. Exercise. Nap if the baby was up all night.
2. Desire: to play kid games like Candyland. Go to the park and swing, and swing, and swing. Go to every week of Music Together, or My Gym. Drive, drive, drive.
3. Ability: to give baths (I can, but I have a bad back, and I specifically hired a nanny to take this chore off my plate. I cannot bend over for even the short time it takes to bathe a toddler without a lot of pain). to come up with "fun" motivations for cleaning or other "have-to-dos." My nanny has an ECE degree; she has lots of ideas for activities I would never come up with.

So basically you have outsourced almost the entirety of motherhood to the lowest bidder? Interesting.

LOL thats all i could think to reading that so sad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The nature of a job is paying someone else to do thing you don't have the time, desire, or ability to do. Welcome to the working world.

I'm a MB, and I will bite. I have a nanny for many more hours than I work (I work very part time). Here is why. Without a nanny, I do not have the

1. Time: to spend one-on-one time with all four children every day. Cook a dinner which takes an hour. Go to appointments. Exercise. Nap if the baby was up all night.
2. Desire: to play kid games like Candyland. Go to the park and swing, and swing, and swing. Go to every week of Music Together, or My Gym. Drive, drive, drive.
3. Ability: to give baths (I can, but I have a bad back, and I specifically hired a nanny to take this chore off my plate. I cannot bend over for even the short time it takes to bathe a toddler without a lot of pain). to come up with "fun" motivations for cleaning or other "have-to-dos." My nanny has an ECE degree; she has lots of ideas for activities I would never come up with.

So basically you have outsourced almost the entirety of motherhood to the lowest bidder? Interesting.

LOL thats all i could think to reading that so sad

No one told Queen Elizabeth, ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boy OP, you sure are a trooper (no pun intended here) for walking four miles a day taking your charge to his activities.

I would be livid, even more so knowing that his mother doesn't even do that! If she wants you to take her son to a daytime activity AND it is two miles away, then she should allow you to drive there. Most especially since she does.

I think it is hypocritical of her to ask you to do things that she knows are not easy to do alone. I wouldn't take this as a compliment, I would take it as an insult. It's like she acknowledges these things are hard to do, but since you are a nanny, you shouldn't complain about doing them since you are just "a nanny." And she can ask you to do anything + either you comply or lose your job.

Since you are not interested in quitting, then there really is nothing else I can say.

Turning the stove on isn't difficult, and neither is giving the baby her bath. If MB doesn't want to do these things for her own reasons, that's her business. But they are squarely within nanny duties so no complaining is necessary. There is no need for MBs to go nose to nose with nannies. The standard for nanny performance is "what MB asked me to do", not "what MB should be able to do herself." She isn't exactly asking you to change her tires.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The nature of a job is paying someone else to do thing you don't have the time, desire, or ability to do. Welcome to the working world.


And which "working world" is this, PP? I have 23 people reporting to me and would never ask any of them to do something that I cannot, or have not, done.


I have hired an account for the exact reason of not being able and not wanting to do my own taxes. I hope nanny doesnt mind doing things I could do but don't want to - like make my kids school lunch. I do it now, can do it, but don't want to. New nanny will make kids school lunch.

[Anonymous]

What's the real issue here? You want to use her car during the day? Or you want to use your car during the day?

Other than that, maybe MB is overly cautious or accident-prone. or even paranoid? she may need to relax and get comfortable that yes there are risks in life for a kid and everyone is doing the best s/he can to prevent a big accident.

~ from someone whose kid lost her 2 front teeth on the playground during a fall. under the nanny's watch. Sux but stuff happens. You never know what is going to happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The nature of a job is paying someone else to do thing you don't have the time, desire, or ability to do. Welcome to the working world.

I'm a MB, and I will bite. I have a nanny for many more hours than I work (I work very part time). Here is why. Without a nanny, I do not have the

1. Time: to spend one-on-one time with all four children every day. Cook a dinner which takes an hour. Go to appointments. Exercise. Nap if the baby was up all night.
2. Desire: to play kid games like Candyland. Go to the park and swing, and swing, and swing. Go to every week of Music Together, or My Gym. Drive, drive, drive.
3. Ability: to give baths (I can, but I have a bad back, and I specifically hired a nanny to take this chore off my plate. I cannot bend over for even the short time it takes to bathe a toddler without a lot of pain). to come up with "fun" motivations for cleaning or other "have-to-dos." My nanny has an ECE degree; she has lots of ideas for activities I would never come up with.

So basically you have outsourced almost the entirety of motherhood to the lowest bidder? Interesting.

LOL thats all i could think to reading that so sad

Really? All you do all day is play Candyland, swing, give baths, and drive? We do a lot more here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The nature of a job is paying someone else to do thing you don't have the time, desire, or ability to do. Welcome to the working world.

I'm a MB, and I will bite. I have a nanny for many more hours than I work (I work very part time). Here is why. Without a nanny, I do not have the

1. Time: to spend one-on-one time with all four children every day. Cook a dinner which takes an hour. Go to appointments. Exercise. Nap if the baby was up all night.
2. Desire: to play kid games like Candyland. Go to the park and swing, and swing, and swing. Go to every week of Music Together, or My Gym. Drive, drive, drive.
3. Ability: to give baths (I can, but I have a bad back, and I specifically hired a nanny to take this chore off my plate. I cannot bend over for even the short time it takes to bathe a toddler without a lot of pain). to come up with "fun" motivations for cleaning or other "have-to-dos." My nanny has an ECE degree; she has lots of ideas for activities I would never come up with.

So basically you have outsourced almost the entirety of motherhood to the lowest bidder? Interesting.

LOL thats all i could think to reading that so sad

Really? All you do all day is play Candyland, swing, give baths, and drive? We do a lot more here.

I would say 1) spending one on one time with your children, 2) cooking dinner for your family, 3) taking your children to doctors appointments, 4) playing games 5) going to the park, 6) pushing your kids on a swing, 7) give them baths, 8) take them to music and gym classes .... seems like 95% of parenting to me. But hey, as long as she gets home and remembers to go into their room and give them a kiss as they sleep, and if she has time to leave them an "I love you note" at the breakfast table for when they wake up since they never see her then I guess she is a good mother!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The nature of a job is paying someone else to do thing you don't have the time, desire, or ability to do. Welcome to the working world.

I'm a MB, and I will bite. I have a nanny for many more hours than I work (I work very part time). Here is why. Without a nanny, I do not have the

1. Time: to spend one-on-one time with all four children every day. Cook a dinner which takes an hour. Go to appointments. Exercise. Nap if the baby was up all night.
2. Desire: to play kid games like Candyland. Go to the park and swing, and swing, and swing. Go to every week of Music Together, or My Gym. Drive, drive, drive.
3. Ability: to give baths (I can, but I have a bad back, and I specifically hired a nanny to take this chore off my plate. I cannot bend over for even the short time it takes to bathe a toddler without a lot of pain). to come up with "fun" motivations for cleaning or other "have-to-dos." My nanny has an ECE degree; she has lots of ideas for activities I would never come up with.

So basically you have outsourced almost the entirety of motherhood to the lowest bidder? Interesting.

LOL thats all i could think to reading that so sad

Really? All you do all day is play Candyland, swing, give baths, and drive? We do a lot more here.

I would say 1) spending one on one time with your children, 2) cooking dinner for your family, 3) taking your children to doctors appointments, 4) playing games 5) going to the park, 6) pushing your kids on a swing, 7) give them baths, 8) take them to music and gym classes .... seems like 95% of parenting to me. But hey, as long as she gets home and remembers to go into their room and give them a kiss as they sleep, and if she has time to leave them an "I love you note" at the breakfast table for when they wake up since they never see her then I guess she is a good mother!

She has four children. Without the nanny, where is the one-on-one time supposed to come from?