FTM seeking advice on hiring a nanny

[Anonymous]

I would never take a job with those requirements.

[Anonymous]

I can understand not wanting a nanny to use the phone while she is with your child. I don't use my phone while I'm with my charge unless I have to call my NF or look up something related to what we are doing. Putting phone requirements on her while your child is sleeping isn't necessary.
I've worked for families who requested I not eat their food and had rules about cell phone usage. They tend to be families who micromanage and treat you like "the help."
The families who were diligent about hiring a qualified, experienced nanny trusted me to do my job and didn't feel the need to make a bunch of rules for me to follow. They knew I'd do my job.
Those are the families I've stayed with for years.
You may not think that requesting these things is a big deal, but these things will speak volumes to the nannies reading your ad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you ask a nanny to bring her own lunch and not eat our food at work?

Can you specify that you do not want the nanny to ever use her cell phone except for emergencies or talking to DH or I?


We have all of our other questions and requirements ready but don't know what is customary/usual in the above two requests.

Thank you.

Yes and yes -- HOWEVER -- I would suggest that the nanny bring her own lunch and not say something like "don't eat our food" and I would specify that the nanny should only use her phone for personal use when the baby is in the crib asleep and not never. That is simply impractical and unfair for a person in any job who is working 45 hours a week during normal business hours. Any employee should be able to make personal calls during her break.

You are offering an excellent salary for this area, OP, and should have a lot of great candidates to choose from. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can understand not wanting a nanny to use the phone while she is with your child. I don't use my phone while I'm with my charge unless I have to call my NF or look up something related to what we are doing. Putting phone requirements on her while your child is sleeping isn't necessary.
I've worked for families who requested I not eat their food and had rules about cell phone usage. They tend to be families who micromanage and treat you like "the help."
The families who were diligent about hiring a qualified, experienced nanny trusted me to do my job and didn't feel the need to make a bunch of rules for me to follow. They knew I'd do my job.
Those are the families I've stayed with for years.
You may not think that requesting these things is a big deal, but these things will speak volumes to the nannies reading your ad.

$22 an hour and full benefits speaks much louder to me than no phone and bring your own lunch!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can understand not wanting a nanny to use the phone while she is with your child. I don't use my phone while I'm with my charge unless I have to call my NF or look up something related to what we are doing. Putting phone requirements on her while your child is sleeping isn't necessary.
I've worked for families who requested I not eat their food and had rules about cell phone usage. They tend to be families who micromanage and treat you like "the help."
The families who were diligent about hiring a qualified, experienced nanny trusted me to do my job and didn't feel the need to make a bunch of rules for me to follow. They knew I'd do my job.
Those are the families I've stayed with for years.
You may not think that requesting these things is a big deal, but these things will speak volumes to the nannies reading your ad.

$22 an hour and full benefits speaks much louder to me than no phone and bring your own lunch!

I can't get those things from a family who doesn't micromanage me.

[Anonymous]

Yes and yes.

Although we didn't ask for either, our nanny brings her own lunch and only carries a flip-phone that DH and I have the number to (although when she occasionally sits for us at night, she does bring her personal smart phone and uses it when DC is asleep).

This is our situation as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can understand not wanting a nanny to use the phone while she is with your child. I don't use my phone while I'm with my charge unless I have to call my NF or look up something related to what we are doing. Putting phone requirements on her while your child is sleeping isn't necessary.
I've worked for families who requested I not eat their food and had rules about cell phone usage. They tend to be families who micromanage and treat you like "the help."
The families who were diligent about hiring a qualified, experienced nanny trusted me to do my job and didn't feel the need to make a bunch of rules for me to follow. They knew I'd do my job.
Those are the families I've stayed with for years.
You may not think that requesting these things is a big deal, but these things will speak volumes to the nannies reading your ad.

$22 an hour and full benefits speaks much louder to me than no phone and bring your own lunch!

I can't get those things from a family who doesn't micromanage me.

*can

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Yes and yes.

Although we didn't ask for either, our nanny brings her own lunch and only carries a flip-phone that DH and I have the number to (although when she occasionally sits for us at night, she does bring her personal smart phone and uses it when DC is asleep).

This is our situation as well.

Who keeps a flip phone to use at work? This makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Yes and yes.

Although we didn't ask for either, our nanny brings her own lunch and only carries a flip-phone that DH and I have the number to (although when she occasionally sits for us at night, she does bring her personal smart phone and uses it when DC is asleep).

This is our situation as well.

Who keeps a flip phone to use at work? This makes no sense.

Our nanny does. She has an inexpensive plan (that we reimburse her for - $15 a month) and only carries the flip phone with her to answer calls from DH or I or in the case of an emergency (we don't have a landline). No one calls her because no one else has the phone number. If her phone rings it is either DH or me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can understand not wanting a nanny to use the phone while she is with your child. I don't use my phone while I'm with my charge unless I have to call my NF or look up something related to what we are doing. Putting phone requirements on her while your child is sleeping isn't necessary.
I've worked for families who requested I not eat their food and had rules about cell phone usage. They tend to be families who micromanage and treat you like "the help."
The families who were diligent about hiring a qualified, experienced nanny trusted me to do my job and didn't feel the need to make a bunch of rules for me to follow. They knew I'd do my job.
Those are the families I've stayed with for years.
You may not think that requesting these things is a big deal, but these things will speak volumes to the nannies reading your ad.

$22 an hour and full benefits speaks much louder to me than no phone and bring your own lunch!

I can't get those things from a family who doesn't micromanage me.

*can

I am not OP but I don't see those things as micromanaging. OP is setting up job requirements and expectation upfront. No surprises. Something I will definitely do in the future when we let our current nanny go.

[Anonymous]

PP again.


What nannies do not seem to realize is how much of an issue their cell phone use is becoming. The stereotypical nannies texting while her charges play is a scene we have all seen WAY too much of since the introduction of the smart phone. More and more working mothers are talking about this as a fireable offense as some nannies cannot seen to control their addictions to texting and social media for even a three hour stretch.

A child is going to be seriously hurt or killed while the nanny is looking at her phone and not paying attention -- and then this issue will become paramount.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP again.


What nannies do not seem to realize is how much of an issue their cell phone use is becoming. The stereotypical nannies texting while her charges play is a scene we have all seen WAY too much of since the introduction of the smart phone. More and more working mothers are talking about this as a fireable offense as some nannies cannot seen to control their addictions to texting and social media for even a three hour stretch.

A child is going to be seriously hurt or killed while the nanny is looking at her phone and not paying attention -- and then this issue will become paramount.

+1 This is now a common topic of complaint among working mothers both at my work and friendships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can request whatever you want that is legal, OP.

Please do not let some of the nannies posting on this parents forum fool you.

The best thing that you can do is make all of your requirements known clearly from the start. If you are not getting the responses that you want then you may have to adjust.

What fooling are you talking about?

That they are MBs. This is a forum for people who have hired or are in the process of hiring a nanny - not for unhappy nannies to grind their axes. That "fooling".

Are you new? Everyone posts wherever they want.

[Anonymous]

If you absolutely 100% don't want her eating ANYTHING from your home, it would be nice for you to offer her a shelf in your pantry and/or a small section of the fridge so she can keep a few extra things at your house.

Cell phone use: I understand wanting her to not use it while your child is awake, but what about while your child sleeps?

Mostly the compensation package is great, but you're only giving her 1 week of vacation + sick days vs 2 weeks + sick days.

[Anonymous]

OP our contract specifies that food will not be provided for the nanny but cabinet and fridge space is provided for her to keep whatever she wishes to at our house. (We also have a shelf in a hall closet where she can keep some spare clothes, change of shoes, toiletries, etc...)

As the relationship has evolved over time I often include things she likes when I make a run to the grocery store, and she'll often pick up something we're low on as well (which we reimburse of course). Similarly I'll make plenty of something I cook so that there are leftovers for her and the kids, will pick up something pre-cooked and get enough for her, etc...

But I definitely started off with meals are not included and when I do those things now they are extras, not expected.

We also have a policy specifying that personal phone/email time should be restricted to when the kids are napping, or occasionally if playing quietly while she is supervising. Texting and talking on the phone while driving our kids is grounds for dismissal.

Your rate (if you're in the DC area) is very high. You should be able to be quite picky in what you seek to hire.

Good luck.