Nanny not coming in today. How annoyed should I be?

[Anonymous]

In a similar position OP, except our nanny has been staying w/ us all week because she's terrified of the weather. So I was able to go to work today but I doubt she'll leave until at least tomorrow.

She wants to be a live-in and we don't have the space or desire for a live-in. As a result she is angry and resentful (openly). She's kind of sealed her fate this week - which is a shame. We probably moved beyond being a good fit for each other more than a year ago but I've been reluctant to pull the trigger.

Mother Nature may have helped us significantly this week.

I will be sure to have a much clearer weather policy in the next contract, and to hire someone who is a more confident driver. (And no - I'm not saying anyone at all should have been on the roads yesterday. But our nanny didn't drive all week and that's just nuts. And unsustainable - even if you lived in TExas this week!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In a similar position OP, except our nanny has been staying w/ us all week because she's terrified of the weather. So I was able to go to work today but I doubt she'll leave until at least tomorrow.

She wants to be a live-in and we don't have the space or desire for a live-in. As a result she is angry and resentful (openly). She's kind of sealed her fate this week - which is a shame. We probably moved beyond being a good fit for each other more than a year ago but I've been reluctant to pull the trigger.

Mother Nature may have helped us significantly this week.

I will be sure to have a much clearer weather policy in the next contract, and to hire someone who is a more confident driver. (And no - I'm not saying anyone at all should have been on the roads yesterday. But our nanny didn't drive all week and that's just nuts. And unsustainable - even if you lived in TExas this week!)

We're all damned if we do, and apparently also damned if we don't. Your nanny was at work at week, allowing you to go to work, yet you complain. To think you people thought it a good idea to procreate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In a similar position OP, except our nanny has been staying w/ us all week because she's terrified of the weather. So I was able to go to work today but I doubt she'll leave until at least tomorrow.

She wants to be a live-in and we don't have the space or desire for a live-in. As a result she is angry and resentful (openly). She's kind of sealed her fate this week - which is a shame. We probably moved beyond being a good fit for each other more than a year ago but I've been reluctant to pull the trigger.

Mother Nature may have helped us significantly this week.

I will be sure to have a much clearer weather policy in the next contract, and to hire someone who is a more confident driver. (And no - I'm not saying anyone at all should have been on the roads yesterday. But our nanny didn't drive all week and that's just nuts. And unsustainable - even if you lived in TExas this week!)

We're all damned if we do, and apparently also damned if we don't. Your nanny was at work at week, allowing you to go to work, yet you complain. To think you people thought it a good idea to procreate.

??? I am a nanny and your position is insane, PP. Either the employer has to deal with no driving in bad weather or accept a live-in nanny (which they do not want)? This is what is called a "false choice". Any employer has the right to expect reasonable behavior from any employee without being pressured into ridiculous compromises.

[Anonymous]

Most professional and serious employees would never tell the boss they cannot come unless is was urgent and serious! The roads are not that bad. We don't live in Canada! I guess if this is just a one time deal, than OK. But if it seems to happen everytime it snows, it is an excuse not to come to work - get a new nanny. We should not take for granted that we are all working. It is a tough economy and we are all fortunate. Go to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In a similar position OP, except our nanny has been staying w/ us all week because she's terrified of the weather. So I was able to go to work today but I doubt she'll leave until at least tomorrow.

She wants to be a live-in and we don't have the space or desire for a live-in. As a result she is angry and resentful (openly). She's kind of sealed her fate this week - which is a shame. We probably moved beyond being a good fit for each other more than a year ago but I've been reluctant to pull the trigger.

Mother Nature may have helped us significantly this week.

I will be sure to have a much clearer weather policy in the next contract, and to hire someone who is a more confident driver. (And no - I'm not saying anyone at all should have been on the roads yesterday. But our nanny didn't drive all week and that's just nuts. And unsustainable - even if you lived in TExas this week!)

We're all damned if we do, and apparently also damned if we don't. Your nanny was at work at week, allowing you to go to work, yet you complain. To think you people thought it a good idea to procreate.

Yes, she was at work all week. She was also in our guest room all week, and ate all the dinners and b'fasts I made. She went out during the day (we only had one day of bad roads) when she wanted to but was paralyzed w/ fear of driving at night so couldn't go home. She also spoke repeatedly of how previous employers paid all her medical costs when she slipped and fell on the ice on their property, said she doesn't feel welcome (she stayed with us ALL week!), and made yet another snarky remark about how "I know you just like to be alone with only your family".

So, from the damned if you do/damned if you don't camp - we actually have a nanny who is openly critical about us wanting to have our evenings/weekends to be with our kids, and seems to think we are failing to care for her sufficiently. This was just the straw that broke the camel's back, which came after a year in which we paid her for more than a month of additional leave with no notice (illness and death in the family), advanced her a raise to help with car repair costs, and did several others things to support her that fall well outside traditional employer/employee parameters.

So the scales have finally tipped and we'll be making a change. So be it. I am quite certain there are nannies out there who can maintain more appropriate boundaries and who will find us to be caring, considerate, professional employers.

[Anonymous]

Your nanny's mistake was listing multiple problems. For me this is normally a tip off that she josh does not was to come. Also the plowing would only been a reasonable reason to come late given that they were out plowing all AM so she might have been able to get out later.

Sick kids ate sick kids though.

[Anonymous]

Never hire a nanny with young children or children young enough to need their mother when they are sick.

Pay a little more and get a truly professional nanny - either go older or younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never hire a nanny with young children or children young enough to need their mother when they are sick.

Pay a little more and get a truly professional nanny - either go older or younger.

Usually that's illegal, except if you're hiring a nanny of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Her street wasn't plowed and her kid is sick. Maybe it's this winter taking its toll on me, but I am starting to question her reliability after numerous snow days, etc.

I'd be annoyed and would consider half pay or no pay.
Roads were fine and plowed. Kid just got sick in the AM? And she doesn't have backup care and is a childcare provider? Yuck.
Everyone was in both of our offices today, on time.

Are your sure she just doesn't have back up care for when her kid doesn't have school? If s/he is in school.

[Anonymous]

The 100s of traffic cam maps and cameras are VERY helpful for checking on this sort of thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be annoyed at the weather, OP, not your nanny!! Do you have to go into work today? Does your DH?

Every had to go to work today. Feds, corporates, teachers, day care. Just not the bus drivers.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps hire a nanny who doesn't have a young child.

And move to my neck of the woods.

West Coast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her street wasn't plowed and her kid is sick. Maybe it's this winter taking its toll on me, but I am starting to question her reliability after numerous snow days, etc.

I'd be annoyed and would consider half pay or no pay.
Roads were fine and plowed. Kid just got sick in the AM? And she doesn't have backup care and is a childcare provider? Yuck.
Everyone was in both of our offices today, on time.

Are your sure she just doesn't have back up care for when her kid doesn't have school? If s/he is in school.

You mean the nanny who probably makes $30K should have back up care for her kids because two parents with an HHI that is probably three or four times that much don't? Seriously? And the PP complaining about the nanny who was willing to sleep over so she could be at work? How entitled could you possible be? What would you have said if she had stayed home? I know, you'd be bitching here about not having childcare. Look, I realize Friday was drivable but what if it had been Thursday, OP? Would you still be riled up? Did you drive on Thursday?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her street wasn't plowed and her kid is sick. Maybe it's this winter taking its toll on me, but I am starting to question her reliability after numerous snow days, etc.

I'd be annoyed and would consider half pay or no pay.
Roads were fine and plowed. Kid just got sick in the AM? And she doesn't have backup care and is a childcare provider? Yuck.
Everyone was in both of our offices today, on time.

Are your sure she just doesn't have back up care for when her kid doesn't have school? If s/he is in school.

You mean the nanny who probably makes $30K should have back up care for her kids because two parents with an HHI that is probably three or four times that much don't? Seriously? And the PP complaining about the nanny who was willing to sleep over so she could be at work? How entitled could you possible be? What would you have said if she had stayed home? I know, you'd be bitching here about not having childcare. Look, I realize Friday was drivable but what if it had been Thursday, OP? Would you still be riled up? Did you drive on Thursday?

I'm the "entitled" MB. Read my post. Thursday wasn't the issue. It was the entire week of paralytic fear, combined w/ an insulting attitude towards us not wanting a live-in.

Read before you rant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her street wasn't plowed and her kid is sick. Maybe it's this winter taking its toll on me, but I am starting to question her reliability after numerous snow days, etc.

I'd be annoyed and would consider half pay or no pay.
Roads were fine and plowed. Kid just got sick in the AM? And she doesn't have backup care and is a childcare provider? Yuck.
Everyone was in both of our offices today, on time.

Are your sure she just doesn't have back up care for when her kid doesn't have school? If s/he is in school.

You mean the nanny who probably makes $30K should have back up care for her kids because two parents with an HHI that is probably three or four times that much don't? Seriously? And the PP complaining about the nanny who was willing to sleep over so she could be at work? How entitled could you possible be? What would you have said if she had stayed home? I know, you'd be bitching here about not having childcare. Look, I realize Friday was drivable but what if it had been Thursday, OP? Would you still be riled up? Did you drive on Thursday?

I'm the "entitled" MB. Read my post. Thursday wasn't the issue. It was the entire week of paralytic fear, combined w/ an insulting attitude towards us not wanting a live-in.

Read before you rant.

First world problems. Get a life, a**hole.