Learn from my mistake fellow nannies

[Anonymous]

Well in your employer's defense being a nanny is just not a job you can do well when you are pregnant. I know every pregnancy is different, but most of the the time your energy level goes way down. Not only that but what about morning sickness, you can't run off to puke when you're watching a 15 month old. What about when you get further along and you can no longer pick your charge up or do some of the activities you used to. Finally, when you have the kid most parents do not want to find another sitter while you go on maternity leave. That is just another transition for their child to have to go through and what do they say when you ask to take your child with you to work, or have to take off days because your childcare fell through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boss told me today shes looking for my replacement. I told her last week I was pregnant and she was excited. Said I could stay as long as I wanted. Guess her husband wasn't in agreement. My husband lost his job a few months ago and has gone to school. We werent on the books. Learn from my mistake: (

Same thing happened to me 10yrs ago when I got pregnant with ds. MB acted excited for me for about a week then asked if I'd be open to adoption since she didn't want a nanny with a kid in tow. I said no, she fired me.

I can see some families not wanting a nanny with a child but who does she think she is to ask if you were " open to adoption". That's so offense and disrespectful. You sound much better off with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well in your employer's defense being a nanny is just not a job you can do well when you are pregnant. I know every pregnancy is different, but most of the the time your energy level goes way down. Not only that but what about morning sickness, you can't run off to puke when you're watching a 15 month old. What about when you get further along and you can no longer pick your charge up or do some of the activities you used to. Finally, when you have the kid most parents do not want to find another sitter while you go on maternity leave. That is just another transition for their child to have to go through and what do they say when you ask to take your child with you to work, or have to take off days because your childcare fell through.

Hmm. I wonder how mothers throughout time have managed this impossible feat?

[Anonymous]

What lesson do you want nannies to learn? To only take legal (on the books) positions? To not tell the MB until you are showing or having bad morning sickness? Look for a new job when you are trying to get pregnant and one of the parents loses their job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What lesson do you want nannies to learn? To only take legal (on the books) positions? To not tell the MB until you are showing or having bad morning sickness? Look for a new job when you are trying to get pregnant and one of the parents loses their job?

All of those things? The idea that nannies aren't allowed to have families is ridiculous. If my MB asked me if I'd consider adoption, I'd probably smack her in the face. What if a nanny said that when MB announced her pregnancy and her proposed $1/hour increase? "Eh, that isn't really going to work for me, have you considered adoption?"

My husband and I are planning to start trying soon. My plan is to have 3 months of my salary saved, and to not announce until I'm ready to quit my job. I'm not even going to play the game of hoping my MB doesn't screw me. After I have the baby and I'm ready, I will advertise for a share family with myself as the nanny. I've done shares, I can handle 2 kids, and I have great references. I have little doubt that I can find someone who wants a nanny but can't afford it to share with me. This is exactly what my friend did and she had no trouble finding a family. The MBs on this board are not representative of normal middle class income families and their expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What lesson do you want nannies to learn? To only take legal (on the books) positions? To not tell the MB until you are showing or having bad morning sickness? Look for a new job when you are trying to get pregnant and one of the parents loses their job?

All of those things? The idea that nannies aren't allowed to have families is ridiculous. If my MB asked me if I'd consider adoption, I'd probably smack her in the face. What if a nanny said that when MB announced her pregnancy and her proposed $1/hour increase? "Eh, that isn't really going to work for me, have you considered adoption?"

My husband and I are planning to start trying soon. My plan is to have 3 months of my salary saved, and to not announce until I'm ready to quit my job. I'm not even going to play the game of hoping my MB doesn't screw me. After I have the baby and I'm ready, I will advertise for a share family with myself as the nanny. I've done shares, I can handle 2 kids, and I have great references. I have little doubt that I can find someone who wants a nanny but can't afford it to share with me. This is exactly what my friend did and she had no trouble finding a family. The MBs on this board are not representative of normal middle class income families and their expectations.

I'm an MB and I think your plan and approach are smart (assuming you will give your employers reasonable notice.) It's smart to plan for the worst case scenario and guard your personal news carefully no matter what job you're in.

Your plan for hosting a share also seems perfectly reasonable, and maybe your current family would even be interested.

I don't love your attitude but see no problem with your approach. There are as many reasonable and sane MBs on this board as there are nannies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What lesson do you want nannies to learn? To only take legal (on the books) positions? To not tell the MB until you are showing or having bad morning sickness? Look for a new job when you are trying to get pregnant and one of the parents loses their job?

All of those things? The idea that nannies aren't allowed to have families is ridiculous. If my MB asked me if I'd consider adoption, I'd probably smack her in the face. What if a nanny said that when MB announced her pregnancy and her proposed $1/hour increase? "Eh, that isn't really going to work for me, have you considered adoption?"

My husband and I are planning to start trying soon. My plan is to have 3 months of my salary saved, and to not announce until I'm ready to quit my job. I'm not even going to play the game of hoping my MB doesn't screw me. After I have the baby and I'm ready, I will advertise for a share family with myself as the nanny. I've done shares, I can handle 2 kids, and I have great references. I have little doubt that I can find someone who wants a nanny but can't afford it to share with me. This is exactly what my friend did and she had no trouble finding a family. The MBs on this board are not representative of normal middle class income families and their expectations.

I'm an MB and I think your plan and approach are smart (assuming you will give your employers reasonable notice.) It's smart to plan for the worst case scenario and guard your personal news carefully no matter what job you're in.

Your plan for hosting a share also seems perfectly reasonable, and maybe your current family would even be interested.

I don't love your attitude but see no problem with your approach. There are as many reasonable and sane MBs on this board as there are nannies.

I'm not sure what it is about my "attitude" that you don't like, but thank you. I've seen this work before, and it boils me up to see mothers treating other mothers like shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What lesson do you want nannies to learn? To only take legal (on the books) positions? To not tell the MB until you are showing or having bad morning sickness? Look for a new job when you are trying to get pregnant and one of the parents loses their job?

All of those things? The idea that nannies aren't allowed to have families is ridiculous. If my MB asked me if I'd consider adoption, I'd probably smack her in the face. What if a nanny said that when MB announced her pregnancy and her proposed $1/hour increase? "Eh, that isn't really going to work for me, have you considered adoption?"

My husband and I are planning to start trying soon. My plan is to have 3 months of my salary saved, and to not announce until I'm ready to quit my job. I'm not even going to play the game of hoping my MB doesn't screw me. After I have the baby and I'm ready, I will advertise for a share family with myself as the nanny. I've done shares, I can handle 2 kids, and I have great references. I have little doubt that I can find someone who wants a nanny but can't afford it to share with me. This is exactly what my friend did and she had no trouble finding a family. The MBs on this board are not representative of normal middle class income families and their expectations.

I'm an MB and I think your plan and approach are smart (assuming you will give your employers reasonable notice.) It's smart to plan for the worst case scenario and guard your personal news carefully no matter what job you're in.

Your plan for hosting a share also seems perfectly reasonable, and maybe your current family would even be interested.

I don't love your attitude but see no problem with your approach. There are as many reasonable and sane MBs on this board as there are nannies.

What makes you think she gives a flying fuck what you think of her attitude? Are you her employer? Her mother? Jesus Christ, the self importance is nauseating. She also never said anything about sane or reasonable. She said rich and likely self important, as you immediately demonstrated. Rich people don't share well, and can afford not to, as most MBs on this site. Normal middle class parents would see having an experienced nanny caring for ONLY her child and theirs in a safe home environment, for half the price of such a nanny, as a godsend. MBs on this site see it as some kind of dark evil.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What lesson do you want nannies to learn? To only take legal (on the books) positions? To not tell the MB until you are showing or having bad morning sickness? Look for a new job when you are trying to get pregnant and one of the parents loses their job?

All of those things? The idea that nannies aren't allowed to have families is ridiculous. If my MB asked me if I'd consider adoption, I'd probably smack her in the face. What if a nanny said that when MB announced her pregnancy and her proposed $1/hour increase? "Eh, that isn't really going to work for me, have you considered adoption?"

My husband and I are planning to start trying soon. My plan is to have 3 months of my salary saved, and to not announce until I'm ready to quit my job. I'm not even going to play the game of hoping my MB doesn't screw me. After I have the baby and I'm ready, I will advertise for a share family with myself as the nanny. I've done shares, I can handle 2 kids, and I have great references. I have little doubt that I can find someone who wants a nanny but can't afford it to share with me. This is exactly what my friend did and she had no trouble finding a family. The MBs on this board are not representative of normal middle class income families and their expectations.

I'm an MB and I think your plan and approach are smart (assuming you will give your employers reasonable notice.) It's smart to plan for the worst case scenario and guard your personal news carefully no matter what job you're in.

Your plan for hosting a share also seems perfectly reasonable, and maybe your current family would even be interested.

I don't love your attitude but see no problem with your approach. There are as many reasonable and sane MBs on this board as there are nannies.

What makes you think she gives a flying fuck what you think of her attitude? Are you her employer? Her mother? Jesus Christ, the self importance is nauseating. She also never said anything about sane or reasonable. She said rich and likely self important, as you immediately demonstrated. Rich people don't share well, and can afford not to, as most MBs on this site. Normal middle class parents would see having an experienced nanny caring for ONLY her child and theirs in a safe home environment, for half the price of such a nanny, as a godsend. MBs on this site see it as some kind of dark evil.

What on earth???

Go take your medication and don't go out in public until it has kicked in.

[Anonymous]

I don't know, I understand both sides. It's tough. I'd sincerely be happy for my nanny but I'd have to let her go as I also have a very young toddler and another on the way. I wouldn't be able to be without the help at this juncture in our lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well in your employer's defense being a nanny is just not a job you can do well when you are pregnant. I know every pregnancy is different, but most of the the time your energy level goes way down. Not only that but what about morning sickness, you can't run off to puke when you're watching a 15 month old. What about when you get further along and you can no longer pick your charge up or do some of the activities you used to. Finally, when you have the kid most parents do not want to find another sitter while you go on maternity leave. That is just another transition for their child to have to go through and what do they say when you ask to take your child with you to work, or have to take off days because your childcare fell through.

Hmm. I wonder how mothers throughout time have managed this impossible feat?

Yes, but you are not a mother to your charge you are his/her nanny. Many times families choose to hire a nanny because they want someone who will have the energy to give their child or children the attention they may not have time or energy to give. I'm sorry, but you cannot give the same quality of care when you are 6-9 months pregnant and exhausted or when you have severe morning sickness. It may not be right that families fire their pregnant nanny, but I'm sure all they are after is the high energy person they originally hired. I'm a nanny by the way.

[Anonymous]

Why should a nanny give adequate notice, which to most of you is 4 weeks. Bull. They fire a pregnant nanny, you owe them no notice. They are at will employer/ employee situations. You nannies should treat your employers the same as they treat you.

[Anonymous]

I was a working pregnant nanny. My family hired me in October, in November she gave birth and I started in February. In December I found out I was pregnant and was sure they will replace me since I didn't even start working. But no. They were happy for me and let me work as long as I could. My due date was in the middle of June and the boy's father was a teacher so I knew I will be off June-mid August. I worked till VERY last day. Went into labor few hours after I got off. Came back to work in August and brought my own baby. We did share and I charged them less (they paid me only $100/ a week less). Worked with me baby for 13 months. I believe they are great families who don't think pregnancy stops you. My pregnancy was super easy. I know I was lucky to find such a great family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why should a nanny give adequate notice, which to most of you is 4 weeks. Bull. They fire a pregnant nanny, you owe them no notice. They are at will employer/ employee situations. You nannies should treat your employers the same as they treat you.

Yes since my last employer was toxic to me, I will be toxic to my future employer. Pay it forward right? Good plan.

Unfortunately you don't know someone would treat you wrong until it is too late, the best thing you can do is be a good employee to your next nanny family and have a good experience instead of ruining it for the next poor soul.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why should a nanny give adequate notice, which to most of you is 4 weeks. Bull. They fire a pregnant nanny, you owe them no notice. They are at will employer/ employee situations. You nannies should treat your employers the same as they treat you.