How to explain to 4 year old nanny isn't coming back

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If everything was so chunky dory, OP, how come the former nanny wants nothing more to do with you? You are not telling the whole story.

Bingo. Hope she changes her ways, or this one won't stay long either.

[Anonymous]

I think the best thing you can do at this point is just to keep telling her that she now has a new nanny and that this new nanny will be coming over to play with her from now on.

Let her know that the previous nanny has other things she wants to do in her life, she wanted to explore other interests and that you and your daughter should both feel happy for her. Tell her that she was a wonderful nanny and that wonderful memories were made together, but guess what? Now it is time to make some new and wonderful memories with her new nanny! Won't that be fun?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the best thing you can do at this point is just to keep telling her that she now has a new nanny and that this new nanny will be coming over to play with her from now on.

Let her know that the previous nanny has other things she wants to do in her life, she wanted to explore other interests and that you and your daughter should both feel happy for her. Tell her that she was a wonderful nanny and that wonderful memories were made together, but guess what? Now it is time to make some new and wonderful memories with her new nanny! Won't that be fun?!

Ruthless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is so natural that your daughter would ask about her old nanny even if she truly likes the new nanny - and don't worry about it being awkward - I think most nannies understand how attached little ones get to their nannies and we're generally not the jealous types!

Talk to your daughter about her old nanny and, as PP suggested, do tell her that her nanny will always love her and how much nanny enjoyed being with her.

This kind of thing breaks my heart a little - it's why I prefer to work with babies. Babies will always know that someone (me) took care of them very well and was devoted to them when they were small - but they won't miss me.

How many hours a week are you working with the babies?

40 to 50 hours a week generally.

[Anonymous]

OP, do the hard work that you don't want to do. Write the last nanny a letter of apology, and ask for forgiveness. Be honest and tell her your child is deeply missing her.

Ask the former nanny to please come and visit your child. Maybe ask new nanny if she'd like to take your child out to lunch to meet up with former nanny. Ask former nanny what she'd feel most comfortable with.

OP, please do this for your OWN child
who is grieving serious loss. PLEASE.

The therapy bills and mental instability down the road,
will be much more costly to you,
if you choose not to.
I guarantee it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, do the hard work that you don't want to do. Write the last nanny a letter of apology, and ask for forgiveness. Be honest and tell her your child is deeply missing her.

Ask the former nanny to please come and visit your child. Maybe ask new nanny if she'd like to take your child out to lunch to meet up with former nanny. Ask former nanny what she'd feel most comfortable with.

OP, please do this for your OWN child
who is grieving serious loss. PLEASE.

The therapy bills and mental instability down the road,
will be much more costly to you,
if you choose not to.
I guarantee it.

this is insane, why are we assuming the OP did something heinous to her nanny and she needs to beg forgiveness? you people are crazy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, do the hard work that you don't want to do. Write the last nanny a letter of apology, and ask for forgiveness. Be honest and tell her your child is deeply missing her.

Ask the former nanny to please come and visit your child. Maybe ask new nanny if she'd like to take your child out to lunch to meet up with former nanny. Ask former nanny what she'd feel most comfortable with.

OP, please do this for your OWN child
who is grieving serious loss. PLEASE.

The therapy bills and mental instability down the road,
will be much more costly to you,
if you choose not to.
I guarantee it.

this is insane, why are we assuming the OP did something heinous to her nanny and she needs to beg forgiveness? you people are crazy

Are you the OP, or just another entitled parent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, do the hard work that you don't want to do. Write the last nanny a letter of apology, and ask for forgiveness. Be honest and tell her your child is deeply missing her.

Ask the former nanny to please come and visit your child. Maybe ask new nanny if she'd like to take your child out to lunch to meet up with former nanny. Ask former nanny what she'd feel most comfortable with.

OP, please do this for your OWN child
who is grieving serious loss. PLEASE.

The therapy bills and mental instability down the road,
will be much more costly to you,
if you choose not to.
I guarantee it.

this is insane, why are we assuming the OP did something heinous to her nanny and she needs to beg forgiveness? you people are crazy

Are you the OP, or just another entitled parent?

I'm the OP (not the PP you quoted though) and this thread has gotten totally out of hand. I didn't include the reasons the nanny left in the thread because it really has nothing to do with my question and I was trying to be nice and respectful of the last nanny who was good to my children. To be clear though her leaving had NOTHING to do with me. She had children of her own and decided a full time job was not for her and told me to look for someone else. In an effort to keep her I let her bring her 4 year old with her and even offered her more money. When she started bringing her own DC she started coming late which made me late for work. There was also 1 day a week (every week) that she told me she could no longer work because she wanted to volunteer at her older DCs school. After looking for quite a while for someone new I finally found someone and gave old nanny notice. I was nothing but kind to her, asking her how much time she wanted to find a new job before the new nanny started. She wanted 3 weeks and that's what I gave her. The day after I gave her notice she called me crying because she said she was going to miss the children so much and maybe she could actually work all the days I needed her etc. At that point I had already hired the new nanny who had then turned down other job offers. I didn't think it was fair to the new nanny to take away the offer and I wasn't convinced the old nanny could really make it work. Maybe the old nanny was annoyed that I didn't take her back, maybe she just thought it would be better for herself to have a clean break. I don't know why she didn't want to have contact with us anymore but I have no intention of grovelling to her to keep her in my DCs life. I'm sorry that my DC misses her and that's why I asked for advice for what to say. Let's not over-react though. I know she will be just fine and will forget about her soon enough. There will be no "therapy bills and mental instability" because of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, do the hard work that you don't want to do. Write the last nanny a letter of apology, and ask for forgiveness. Be honest and tell her your child is deeply missing her.

Ask the former nanny to please come and visit your child. Maybe ask new nanny if she'd like to take your child out to lunch to meet up with former nanny. Ask former nanny what she'd feel most comfortable with.

OP, please do this for your OWN child
who is grieving serious loss. PLEASE.

The therapy bills and mental instability down the road,
will be much more costly to you,
if you choose not to.
I guarantee it.

this is insane, why are we assuming the OP did something heinous to her nanny and she needs to beg forgiveness? you people are crazy

Are you the OP, or just another entitled parent?

I'm the OP (not the PP you quoted though) and this thread has gotten totally out of hand. I didn't include the reasons the nanny left in the thread because it really has nothing to do with my question and I was trying to be nice and respectful of the last nanny who was good to my children. To be clear though her leaving had NOTHING to do with me. She had children of her own and decided a full time job was not for her and told me to look for someone else. In an effort to keep her I let her bring her 4 year old with her and even offered her more money. When she started bringing her own DC she started coming late which made me late for work. There was also 1 day a week (every week) that she told me she could no longer work because she wanted to volunteer at her older DCs school. After looking for quite a while for someone new I finally found someone and gave old nanny notice. I was nothing but kind to her, asking her how much time she wanted to find a new job before the new nanny started. She wanted 3 weeks and that's what I gave her. The day after I gave her notice she called me crying because she said she was going to miss the children so much and maybe she could actually work all the days I needed her etc. At that point I had already hired the new nanny who had then turned down other job offers. I didn't think it was fair to the new nanny to take away the offer and I wasn't convinced the old nanny could really make it work. Maybe the old nanny was annoyed that I didn't take her back, maybe she just thought it would be better for herself to have a clean break. I don't know why she didn't want to have contact with us anymore but I have no intention of grovelling to her to keep her in my DCs life. I'm sorry that my DC misses her and that's why I asked for advice for what to say. Let's not over-react though. I know she will be just fine and will forget about her soon enough. There will be no "therapy bills and mental instability" because of this.

How long did you have her, and how many hours a week?

[Anonymous]

OP is clearly in denial, it seems to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, do the hard work that you don't want to do. Write the last nanny a letter of apology, and ask for forgiveness. Be honest and tell her your child is deeply missing her.

Ask the former nanny to please come and visit your child. Maybe ask new nanny if she'd like to take your child out to lunch to meet up with former nanny. Ask former nanny what she'd feel most comfortable with.

OP, please do this for your OWN child
who is grieving serious loss. PLEASE.

The therapy bills and mental instability down the road,
will be much more costly to you,
if you choose not to.
I guarantee it.

this is insane, why are we assuming the OP did something heinous to her nanny and she needs to beg forgiveness? you people are crazy

Are you the OP, or just another entitled parent?

I'm the OP (not the PP you quoted though) and this thread has gotten totally out of hand. I didn't include the reasons the nanny left in the thread because it really has nothing to do with my question and I was trying to be nice and respectful of the last nanny who was good to my children. To be clear though her leaving had NOTHING to do with me. She had children of her own and decided a full time job was not for her and told me to look for someone else. In an effort to keep her I let her bring her 4 year old with her and even offered her more money. When she started bringing her own DC she started coming late which made me late for work. There was also 1 day a week (every week) that she told me she could no longer work because she wanted to volunteer at her older DCs school. After looking for quite a while for someone new I finally found someone and gave old nanny notice. I was nothing but kind to her, asking her how much time she wanted to find a new job before the new nanny started. She wanted 3 weeks and that's what I gave her. The day after I gave her notice she called me crying because she said she was going to miss the children so much and maybe she could actually work all the days I needed her etc. At that point I had already hired the new nanny who had then turned down other job offers. I didn't think it was fair to the new nanny to take away the offer and I wasn't convinced the old nanny could really make it work. Maybe the old nanny was annoyed that I didn't take her back, maybe she just thought it would be better for herself to have a clean break. I don't know why she didn't want to have contact with us anymore but I have no intention of grovelling to her to keep her in my DCs life. I'm sorry that my DC misses her and that's why I asked for advice for what to say. Let's not over-react though. I know she will be just fine and will forget about her soon enough. There will be no "therapy bills and mental instability" because of this.

How long did you have her, and how many hours a week?

We had her for 9 months. Originally 42 hrs/week and she got OT for the 2 hours but when she cut out a day she went down to 35 hours a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is clearly in denial, it seems to me.

Do you want to explain why or you just like to be argumentative? You are the one who is in denial that not all MBs are bad and not all nannies are good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, do the hard work that you don't want to do. Write the last nanny a letter of apology, and ask for forgiveness. Be honest and tell her your child is deeply missing her.

Ask the former nanny to please come and visit your child. Maybe ask new nanny if she'd like to take your child out to lunch to meet up with former nanny. Ask former nanny what she'd feel most comfortable with.

OP, please do this for your OWN child
who is grieving serious loss. PLEASE.

The therapy bills and mental instability down the road,
will be much more costly to you,
if you choose not to.
I guarantee it.

this is insane, why are we assuming the OP did something heinous to her nanny and she needs to beg forgiveness? you people are crazy

Are you the OP, or just another entitled parent?

I'm the OP (not the PP you quoted though) and this thread has gotten totally out of hand. I didn't include the reasons the nanny left in the thread because it really has nothing to do with my question and I was trying to be nice and respectful of the last nanny who was good to my children. To be clear though her leaving had NOTHING to do with me. She had children of her own and decided a full time job was not for her and told me to look for someone else. In an effort to keep her I let her bring her 4 year old with her and even offered her more money. When she started bringing her own DC she started coming late which made me late for work. There was also 1 day a week (every week) that she told me she could no longer work because she wanted to volunteer at her older DCs school. After looking for quite a while for someone new I finally found someone and gave old nanny notice. I was nothing but kind to her, asking her how much time she wanted to find a new job before the new nanny started. She wanted 3 weeks and that's what I gave her. The day after I gave her notice she called me crying because she said she was going to miss the children so much and maybe she could actually work all the days I needed her etc. At that point I had already hired the new nanny who had then turned down other job offers. I didn't think it was fair to the new nanny to take away the offer and I wasn't convinced the old nanny could really make it work. Maybe the old nanny was annoyed that I didn't take her back, maybe she just thought it would be better for herself to have a clean break. I don't know why she didn't want to have contact with us anymore but I have no intention of grovelling to her to keep her in my DCs life. I'm sorry that my DC misses her and that's why I asked for advice for what to say. Let's not over-react though. I know she will be just fine and will forget about her soon enough. There will be no "therapy bills and mental instability" because of this.

How long did you have her, and how many hours a week?

We had her for 9 months. Originally 42 hrs/week and she got OT for the 2 hours but when she cut out a day she went down to 35 hours a week.

OP here again. The new job she found is for only 25 hours/week. She really wanted a PT job, not FT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is clearly in denial, it seems to me.

Do you want to explain why or you just like to be argumentative? You are the one who is in denial that not all MBs are bad and not all nannies are good.

On this forum, most of the nannies are ridiculous. I'm a nanny and think I am finally done with this forum. These other nannies are an embarrassment to our profession.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is clearly in denial, it seems to me.

Do you want to explain why or you just like to be argumentative? You are the one who is in denial that not all MBs are bad and not all nannies are good.

On this forum, most of the nannies are ridiculous. I'm a nanny and think I am finally done with this forum. These other nannies are an embarrassment to our profession.

OP here. It's not just the nannies, a lot of the parents on here are ridiculous too. This forum does nothing to help nannies or employers. It's unfortunate because there really isn't anywhere else to go to get advice. It is possible to get advice here if you can sift through the crazies but it's also hard to ignore when some of them are SO obnoxious. I try to remind myself not to react but it's hard to hold my tongue when people say things that are so over the top.