Nanny eating me out of house and home- how do I broach this with her w/o being offensive?

[Anonymous]

I have always eaten breakfast and lunch with the kids. I dont think she should be eating dinner unless she eats dinner with the kids.

I have only every known one live out nanny who had to bring her lunch.

I can see not providing food if you have an infant, but older kids? seriously?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She may feel entitled if you're underpaying her. What payrate are you giving her? Maybe after paying apartment rent there's no food money? I don't know. Is she overweight?

I also never heard of a nanny being told to bring her own food. I'd think they were having a financial crisis or super greedy. In any case, it's a MAJOR red flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She may feel entitled if you're underpaying her. What payrate are you giving her? Maybe after paying apartment rent there's no food money? I don't know. Is she overweight?

I pay her 11 dollars an hour to care for my two children which I think is very fair given that she is just CPR certified but has no official nanny training.

She's NOT overweight, she's very thin. That's what makes me think with all of the eggs, bread, and pasta that's going missing she's eating all three meals in my home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She may feel entitled if you're underpaying her. What payrate are you giving her? Maybe after paying apartment rent there's no food money? I don't know. Is she overweight?

I also never heard of a nanny being told to bring her own food. I'd think they were having a financial crisis or super greedy. In any case, it's a MAJOR red flag.

How am I greedy? At my office I don't get three square meals. Whether I can afford it is not the point, it's inappropriate that she is consuming so much while on the job without being told it was allowed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She may feel entitled if you're underpaying her. What payrate are you giving her? Maybe after paying apartment rent there's no food money? I don't know. Is she overweight?

I also never heard of a nanny being told to bring her own food. I'd think they were having a financial crisis or super greedy. In any case, it's a MAJOR red flag.

How am I greedy? At my office I don't get three square meals. Whether I can afford it is not the point, it's inappropriate that she is consuming so much while on the job without being told it was allowed.

Did you ever babysit in HS?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She may feel entitled if you're underpaying her. What payrate are you giving her? Maybe after paying apartment rent there's no food money? I don't know. Is she overweight?

I pay her 11 dollars an hour to care for my two children which I think is very fair given that she is just CPR certified but has no official nanny training.

She's NOT overweight, she's very thin. That's what makes me think with all of the eggs, bread, and pasta that's going missing she's eating all three meals in my home.

$11 is not a lot of money. Do you really want to upset your nanny over eggs, bread and pasta??? She will be offended.

[Anonymous]

2 thoughts:

-Nanny shouldn't be eating so much food that you're noticing stuff disappearing

-You don't know her financial situation. Maybe she eats at your house because she's afraid to go hungry later (not saying it's right but this could be a matter of survival this girl)

-If bread and eggs and pasta are what is going missing, would it be a financial burden to you to purchase a loaf a week, a couple boxes of cheap pasta, and some eggs for her to eat at your house and tell her that is what it is for? That would be maybe an extra 20 bucks a week if that.

What is 20 bucks if it means this girl eats?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She may feel entitled if you're underpaying her. What payrate are you giving her? Maybe after paying apartment rent there's no food money? I don't know. Is she overweight?

I pay her 11 dollars an hour to care for my two children which I think is very fair given that she is just CPR certified but has no official nanny training.

She's NOT overweight, she's very thin. That's what makes me think with all of the eggs, bread, and pasta that's going missing she's eating all three meals in my home.

$11 is not a lot of money. Do you really want to upset your nanny over eggs, bread and pasta??? She will be offended.

I don't want her upset, but it's not here to eat. That simple. She's not just having a snack when she forgets her lunch, she's clearly eating full meals out of my pantry

[Anonymous]

11 bucks an hour OP?! Good grief. I make a bit more than that and barely scrape by on my bills (and the cost of living where I am is lower than DC). My bosses, being the nice, normal human beings that they are, also encourage me to help myself to anything in the fridge. I try not to abuse that, but there are certainly days where I can't afford groceries and don't feel guilty about making myself an extra sandwich at work or something.

You need to get a conscience and seriously re-evaluate your priorities.

[Anonymous]

And just so you know OP, it is the norm for families to let nannies prepare meals from the pantry, whether they are eating what they serve the kids or making their own thing. Your selfishness and indignant shock is blowing my mind.

[Anonymous]

Okay OP, I commented saying you should speak to her, but at $11/hr I think she is right to be eating at your house. That isn't a living wage, you know that right? You're saving a lot of money not paying her a fair wage so just suck it up and start buying cheaper bread/pasta if it's a big deal.

Good grief.

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny and when I started out I worked part time jobs. During this time, food was always provided. I can see how a nanny could simply see this as the norm. Babysitting gigs also provide food. I am now a professional nanny, I receive benefits and higher end pay. I provide my own food, though may snack on their food as well as share mine with the children.

Is this her first full time position? In handling it, I would use PPs suggestion in saying that this is your first time hiring a full time nanny and that you simply didn't think about this situation. Then, instead of saying that you can't afford it, I would stress that it makes your shopping and planning more difficult. I would offer that she help herself to a snack on occasion or pantry items, such as butter and mayo, but that you would prefer that she supply her own food. I would also let her know that she is welcome to leave foods there when necessary.

I also think that her pay and benefits should play a role in this decision. If she is paid well and has vacation and holiday as well as guaranteed hours, this shouldn't be a tough decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny and when I started out I worked part time jobs. During this time, food was always provided. I can see how a nanny could simply see this as the norm. Babysitting gigs also provide food. I am now a professional nanny, I receive benefits and higher end pay. I provide my own food, though may snack on their food as well as share mine with the children.

Is this her first full time position? In handling it, I would use PPs suggestion in saying that this is your first time hiring a full time nanny and that you simply didn't think about this situation. Then, instead of saying that you can't afford it, I would stress that it makes your shopping and planning more difficult. I would offer that she help herself to a snack on occasion or pantry items, such as butter and mayo, but that you would prefer that she supply her own food. I would also let her know that she is welcome to leave foods there when necessary.

I also think that her pay and benefits should play a role in this decision. If she is paid well and has vacation and holiday as well as guaranteed hours, this shouldn't be a tough decision.

I had to take care of something during writing the above post and missed out that OP pays $11/hr. I think that OP should offer a raise of $2/hr if you would like her to pack her lunches. You are paying a babysitters wage (even at $13) and at that wage it is expected that food be supplied. That is standard. If you were paying her $18 or more, with benefits, that would be a different story. Maybe you should put your children in daycare if you cannot afford a nanny.

[Anonymous]

OP is being greedy with paying 11/hr and not wanting the nanny to eat her meals at work. Even if the nanny food was costing a $100 (or more) a week, it's still be a steal.

OP, you should be ashamed of yourself. Are your finances really this tight? No vacation this year? Is a nanny really not in the budget?

Come clean here, OP.

[Anonymous]

OP, where do you live? $11/hr is a very low rate for any major metro area. I live in the suburbs of Chicago and I won't even do occasional babysitting for $11.

If it truly bothers you that much then you should tell her you'd prefer her to bring her own meals. Having said that, I've had 3 nanny positions and also babysit for a number of families and I've always been told to help myself to food. I would be very put off if I was told I wasn't allowed to eat anything.