Nanny eating me out of house and home- how do I broach this with her w/o being offensive?

[Anonymous]

I had not considered that she was eating it out of necessity and honestly I feel really badly.

I discussed it with my DH and he said we can afford to bump her up to 15/hr which seems more standard from what you guys have said and what I've been googling. I do not want her to eat my groceries because she cannot afford any. The wage was what she and I had come up with as fair when she started.

I will offer to pick a few select things up for her but I do not want her eating anything else without permission

[Anonymous]

Im glad you're going to bump up her pay but I am glad you are not my MB. I love feeling as part of a family and honestly is a MB told me I was not welcome to make myself at home, it would not be a good fit for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is being greedy with paying 11/hr and not wanting the nanny to eat her meals at work. Even if the nanny food was costing a $100 (or more) a week, it's still be a steal.

OP, you should be ashamed of yourself. Are your finances really this tight? No vacation this year? Is a nanny really not in the budget?

Come clean here, OP.

Congratulations, OP. Hugs for you!
I'm really happy you'll bump up her rate to 15/hr.
Give her refrigerator and cabinet space and ask her to bring her own food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had not considered that she was eating it out of necessity and honestly I feel really badly.

I discussed it with my DH and he said we can afford to bump her up to 15/hr which seems more standard from what you guys have said and what I've been googling. I do not want her to eat my groceries because she cannot afford any. The wage was what she and I had come up with as fair when she started.

I will offer to pick a few select things up for her but I do not want her eating anything else without permission

Great! I think this is very fair of you. I would think about how you want to approach the topic and the wording that you may or may not want to use, such as "without permission" It is standard that basic supplies, milk, ketchup, butter, etc. are offered.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am very impressed that you are so open minded and willing to admit you were wrong about the wage. I think your nanny will be happy with the new higher pay and bringing her lunch. Congrats.

[Anonymous]

Im glad you rethought your POV, OP. I am a MB who definitely has a different outlook as I include our nanny in family meals after her shift if she would like and she is encouraged to make all her meals at the house. She works long hours with my kids, I would feel weird if she didn't feel welcome to our family food. I hope you have a good relationship with your nanny, but I am glad you value her enough to raise her pay as she is definitely making below average.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am very impressed that you are so open minded and willing to admit you were wrong about the wage. I think your nanny will be happy with the new higher pay and bringing her lunch. Congrats.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am very impressed that you are so open minded and willing to admit you were wrong about the wage. I think your nanny will be happy with the new higher pay and bringing her lunch. Congrats.

+1

+2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She may feel entitled if you're underpaying her. What payrate are you giving her? Maybe after paying apartment rent there's no food money? I don't know. Is she overweight?

I pay her 11 dollars an hour to care for my two children which I think is very fair given that she is just CPR certified but has no official nanny training.

She's NOT overweight, she's very thin. That's what makes me think with all of the eggs, bread, and pasta that's going missing she's eating all three meals in my home.

11 is NOT fair for 2 children and that is underpaying. Stop being cheap(Your own husband thinks so)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Im glad you're going to bump up her pay but I am glad you are not my MB. I love feeling as part of a family and honestly is a MB told me I was not welcome to make myself at home, it would not be a good fit for me.

I agree. This would make me feel unwelcome and OP may find herself without a nanny. She sounds like a penny pinching. and If I were the nanny I would feel incredibly ackward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im glad you're going to bump up her pay but I am glad you are not my MB. I love feeling as part of a family and honestly is a MB told me I was not welcome to make myself at home, it would not be a good fit for me.

I agree. This would make me feel unwelcome and OP may find herself without a nanny. She sounds like a penny pinching. and If I were the nanny I would feel incredibly ackward.

I'm a nanny that works for a family that has an open fridge policy and even gives me a prepaid visa card to go out to lunch with LO. However, I disagree with you. While it may sound harsh, OP has every right to ask the Nanny to leave most of the food be. It would be hard to plan meals and food shopping not knowing what will and won't be eaten up. She could come home from work planning on make pasta for dinner only to find that nanny had used up the last of it. It's OP's home and food and she shouldn't have to be shamed for this. If she really is bumping her nanny up $4/hr then I wouldn't say she is "penny pinching" either. I give OP credit to taking the criticism and insight and doing something on her end to help fix the problem.

[Anonymous]

I think this is a fake post by the OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP she is eating all 3 meals at your house to save money buying her own groceries. Even if you had offered to provide lunch, this is abusing that privilege.

I've never had a problem with my nanny and we do provide lunch and snacks. She has a snack, a pice of fruit, a sandwich or frozen dinner for lunch, coffee, water etc. Normal amounts the same as anyone else would eat. My neighbor had a nanny like yours. She was eating 3 meals there even though she only worked for 9 hours a day. It got worse and worse and my neighbor ended up finding out that she was also taking food and other non-food items (paper towels, cleaning stuff) home with her. The funny thing is that the nanny got caught when she accidentally knocked over her tote bag before leaving and a watermelon rolled out of her bag. My neighbor installed a nanny cam and then saw how much stuff she was cooking for herself and hiding in her tote bag.

My advice would be to be direct with her. Tell her that you are fine with her having an occasional snack, having a piece of pizza with the kids, water, coffee, or an occasional treat but that you did not include providing meals for her in your offer. You can then let her know that you would be happy to make some space in the refrigerator for her to bring her lunch.

I had a similar situation.. Except my nanny was part time and she was eating a ton and taking food home, we can only assume to save on groceries. Unfortunately it was too awkward so I ended up letting her go and finding another nanny... and set the food rules straight up front. it's a shame nannies abuse this. 90% of full time workers don't get free lunch or snacks anyway.. However given they can't take a "lunch hour" without the kids, I do feel feeding them lunch is appropriate..

[Anonymous]

She is taking care of yoir children and eating with them is what she should do. This goes beyond cheap not to offer the same food to her. A hungry nanny is not a happy nanny. If she brings her owm good some of you will complain about it if she has potato chips, coke, lumch meats, etc. I hope all nannies will wise up and refuse to work for you cheap MBs, mother bitches. If you can't afford to feed nanny, you can't afford a nanny.

[Anonymous]

If the girl has no nanny experience, $11 an hour isn't a horrible wage. We all have to start somewhere. I think it is great that OP is willing to raise her salary, but if the girl has no experience, then it isn't a bad starting salary. Is OP finding boxes to all these things she is eating in the trash? If not, then the nanny is stealing the items.

I'm all for living wage, but a starting nanny salary should not be $15 an hour. Most preschools and daycares do not pay that much, why should an inexperienced girl be getting paid more to nanny?