letting nanny go--how to do it "humanely"

[Anonymous]

Are you the one firing the nanny over a bad playdate? You sound nuts, I'm tired of your posts OP.

[Anonymous]

Let her say goodbye- even if not immediately- to the kids. The closure is good for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's been with you a long time and you're going to give her only 2 weeks pay? That's awful.

You should give her 2 weeks to LOOK for another job PLUS the severance pay. Don't give her a "today is your last day" thing.

It seems like you need her over the holidays and using her to the last second. That's so messed up...honestly.

She is better off having a bunch of interviews lined up and the severance pay in hand.

Seriously!!??? Are you living in the real world? Go and work at any job and perform poorly...even caring for the most feeble of patients. you get fired on Friday at 5, NO severance!! You will be lucky to get your last check that day.

[Anonymous]

OP here:

Firing for cause.
Had new nanny ready to go 12/15 but decided that it was not kind to fire current nanny before the holidays, so that's why I'm waiting until after.
She has "threatened" to quit many, many times...leaving us wondering if she'd show the next day (and this is not the "cause", just an added bonus)
TRYING TO DO IT IN AS NICE A WAY AS I CAN, HENCE ASKING YOU FOLKS
Please, cut out the nastiness. Completely unnecessary and out of line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here:

Firing for cause.
Had new nanny ready to go 12/15 but decided that it was not kind to fire current nanny before the holidays, so that's why I'm waiting until after.
She has "threatened" to quit many, many times...leaving us wondering if she'd show the next day (and this is not the "cause", just an added bonus)
TRYING TO DO IT IN AS NICE A WAY AS I CAN, HENCE ASKING YOU FOLKS
Please, cut out the nastiness. Completely unnecessary and out of line.

Don't let the disgruntled nanny get to you. You are being very generous and humane. Protect your children from her initial reaction, you do not know what it will be. I like the Nanny McPhee story.

[Anonymous]

Let kids pat her on head and tell her what a good nannyshe has been and she will be in Nanny Heaven, then have Nanny doc give her shot. Humanely? She isn't a pet!

[Anonymous]

Nowdays moms and dad's are acting heart less. Do you really need to act that way when this nanny stood by you're side when you mostly needed her?.... You should tell her at list 2 weeks in advance. Offer her your help find a new job. Why things have to end up badly?...... I'm a nanny and that really pissed me off!
Shame on you "well educated moms and dads"

Ps. It shouldnt be the end of the world by telling your long time nanny you no longer need her!!!!! Oh please!!!

[Anonymous]

Um, no, PP. Have you read the thread? The nanny is being fired for cause. She is an unsatisfactory nanny and doesn't deserve any help or severance. You don't get to do a lousy job and get extra help and money. That's crazy.

Frankly, OP, two weeks severance in lieu of notice is plenty generous for a nanny being fired for cause.

[Anonymous]

Ok so what did she do that warrants locks to be changed, and all the non-sense about escorting her out, changing alarm codes, and not sure if you would let her see your kids? Sounds like you are dealing with a crminal ... WTF?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok so what did she do that warrants locks to be changed, and all the non-sense about escorting her out, changing alarm codes, and not sure if you would let her see your kids? Sounds like you are dealing with a crminal ... WTF?!

i agree but then reading some of the crazy nanny posts on here I have to kind of see where they're coming from. I worked 2 yrs for a crazy crazy mb (literally some sort o fpsychiatric disorder, I stayed for the kids.) They gave me three weeks notice, I worked the whole three weeks and ultimately it didn't end well. She saw me walking down the street with my new charge about a year later and she honked an dpulled over and started talking to me like I'd be delighted to see her. I gave her a very cool reception because frankly she can rot in hell for all I care.

The point is OPs nanny might be nuts and OP migh tbe doing the best thing by giving no notice bu tten again OP might be the crazy one who ends up pissing off every nanny. We really don't know but I'm hedging my bets that the nanny may react badly. OP is there a way you can subtly start planting the seed that a change is coming?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok so what did she do that warrants locks to be changed, and all the non-sense about escorting her out, changing alarm codes, and not sure if you would let her see your kids? Sounds like you are dealing with a crminal ... WTF?!

I guess you dont listen to the news...Yselina Ortega..murder 2 of her charges (SLIT their throats) because she did not like the offer of the family to clean their home for extra money she needed. She had been their nanny for 2 years. THey had even been to her country and visited her family. In the business world, when you are fired, there is no 'two weeks' They tell you on Friday at 5pm, with no severance pay. There is a rason for this type of notice.
The only other thing to do is lie and tell her that your mom in law or someone is coming to live with you and take care of your children and help her find another job (this is also not being honest with the new family...but who cares about them...right?)

A week after the Ortega incident in NYC, a babysitter in the midwest killed 2 of her charges.... 2 bad apples do not define the lot, but it is frightening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok so what did she do that warrants locks to be changed, and all the non-sense about escorting her out, changing alarm codes, and not sure if you would let her see your kids? Sounds like you are dealing with a crminal ... WTF?!

I guess you dont listen to the news...Yselina Ortega..murder 2 of her charges (SLIT their throats) because she did not like the offer of the family to clean their home for extra money she needed. She had been their nanny for 2 years. THey had even been to her country and visited her family. In the business world, when you are fired, there is no 'two weeks' They tell you on Friday at 5pm, with no severance pay. There is a rason for this type of notice.
The only other thing to do is lie and tell her that your mom in law or someone is coming to live with you and take care of your children and help her find another job (this is also not being honest with the new family...but who cares about them...right?)

A week after the Ortega incident in NYC, a babysitter in the midwest killed 2 of her charges.... 2 bad apples do not define the lot, but it is frightening.

nanny Ortega, by all accounts, was having a mental breakdown, friends and neighbors had noticed that she seemed to be having problems. I really do not believe she was a normal person who got angry at her employers. an angry enployee may steal soemthing or brake something, but does not murder two little children. the woman in the midwest was a mother who killed her own child to spite her husband, the other child was in the wrong place at the wrong time. based on her actions, would you conclude that mothers should not be left alone with their kids because you never know they may kill them?

anyway, I do agree that if you let your nanny go, I would not let her keep working with the kids. I would give her severance instead of notice, depending on the circumstances. where I work, when person is laid off he/she is given the news and then escorted out of the office by security.

[Anonymous]

without severance

[Anonymous]

At least with a mom its her own child...with an aggravated mentally unstable nanny ( no one seemed worried enough to stop her from caring for the children) thats someone elses children...why take the chance...you just never know

[Anonymous]

If she has been with you a long time, severance is appropriate, and two weeks is on the low end. We would plan to give two weeks notice, plus a month severance, if we needed to part from our nanny. Of course, you are not happy with her performance and that is a consideration, but generosity has virtues and may help things go smoothly.

Otherwise, I think your Friday plan is a good one. Watch her reaction and play it by ear if it seems like she wants to say "goodbye" to the kids and that is the best thing. I'd try to stay firm, but positive. There are many things that you have liked about her performance, and you wish her well, but this is not working well for anyone and you have made other arrangements. Fewer details is better. No need to drag through bad feelings or relive past incidents. Does she have keys to your house? Do not forget those.