"Nanny as Parent" phenomenon

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the relationship between haircuts and tonsils?

Yes, pp.

Also, seriously, if you really decided to get the girls tonsils out, and the parents asked you when you had done it, two months later, that is very bizarre. I have worked in healthcare for 10+ years now, and I have honestly never seen a nanny bring a kid in to an appointment (maybe accompany the parents, but never on their own), let alone to surgery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the relationship between haircuts and tonsils?

Yes, pp.

Also, seriously, if you really decided to get the girls tonsils out, and the parents asked you when you had done it, two months later, that is very bizarre. I have worked in healthcare for 10+ years now, and I have honestly never seen a nanny bring a kid in to an appointment (maybe accompany the parents, but never on their own), let alone to surgery.

Careful, she's about to tell you that you and your "little circle of patients" have no idea of how a "wider world of nannies" operates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You and your little circle of girlfriends are clueless about the wider nanny world, so please understand how little you know.

No one cares about the wider nanny world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If this is your arrangement, I find parents like this an exception, not the rule. No parents in our circle would leave these decisions to non-family members. Your employers must be unusually hands-off.

Do you buy the kids' clothes? Or do you pick them out of what parents selected and bought?

No, dad is very involved with his kids, but he works very irregular hours, so it's better for one person to consistently make and implement the decisions. He trusted my judgement. In fact, one of the kids complained to him that I wouldn't allow something (I felt a skirt was inappropriate for the intended function, fine for other things but I wouldn't purchase it at the time because she would try to wear it for the function), and while he backed me up to the child, he also told me in private that he wouldn't have said no. But as I said, he trusted my judgement, he knew my opinions before he hired me. We established long-term goals for the children and it was up to me to get the kids there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the relationship between haircuts and tonsils?

Yes, pp.

Also, seriously, if you really decided to get the girls tonsils out, and the parents asked you when you had done it, two months later, that is very bizarre. I have worked in healthcare for 10+ years now, and I have honestly never seen a nanny bring a kid in to an appointment (maybe accompany the parents, but never on their own), let alone to surgery.

Um, hmmmm. Yes, I scheduled all medical, dental and optometrist appointments, took the children by myself and notified the parents when anything extra needed to be done. Tonsils out was known; the parents didn't realize for two months that the girl ot her hair cut. She had had hair down to her butt, but she refused to brush it or allow anyone else to brush it. I told her that she could let me braid it out of the way the day before the surgery or she would have it cut; she elected not to choose, so she had it cut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is your arrangement, I find parents like this an exception, not the rule. No parents in our circle would leave these decisions to non-family members. Your employers must be unusually hands-off.

Do you buy the kids' clothes? Or do you pick them out of what parents selected and bought?

No, dad is very involved with his kids, but he works very irregular hours, so it's better for one person to consistently make and implement the decisions. He trusted my judgement. In fact, one of the kids complained to him that I wouldn't allow something (I felt a skirt was inappropriate for the intended function, fine for other things but I wouldn't purchase it at the time because she would try to wear it for the function), and while he backed me up to the child, he also told me in private that he wouldn't have said no. But as I said, he trusted my judgement, he knew my opinions before he hired me. We established long-term goals for the children and it was up to me to get the kids there.

Where was the mom?

[Anonymous]

Mom wasn't interested/involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom wasn't interested/involved.

Then I think you know perfectly well that this situation is neither typical nor common. You were a surrogate parent in a single-parent family with a missing female role model. I am sure the father was fortunate to have you to rely on, and I hope you were paid well for your service. But I think you know this was not at all a normal scenario for a typical nanny with a typical family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom wasn't interested/involved.

Then I think you know perfectly well that this situation is neither typical nor common. You were a surrogate parent in a single-parent family with a missing female role model. I am sure the father was fortunate to have you to rely on, and I hope you were paid well for your service. But I think you know this was not at all a normal scenario for a typical nanny with a typical family.

Different nanny here, with decades of experience. All I'll say to you, is you'd be surprised if you only knew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom wasn't interested/involved.

Then I think you know perfectly well that this situation is neither typical nor common. You were a surrogate parent in a single-parent family with a missing female role model. I am sure the father was fortunate to have you to rely on, and I hope you were paid well for your service. But I think you know this was not at all a normal scenario for a typical nanny with a typical family.

Different nanny here, with decades of experience. All I'll say to you, is you'd be surprised if you only knew.

I still don't believe your experience is a rule. You are an exception. I don't doubt that families like this exist but they are a tiny minority of the nanny employer numbers.

Maybe you can post a thread in the employer section of this site asking employers what decisions they leave up to the nanny, and which they prefer to handle themselves.

[Anonymous]

I've done these tasks for every family, doesn't matter what the parent situation is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the relationship between haircuts and tonsils?

Yes, pp.

Also, seriously, if you really decided to get the girls tonsils out, and the parents asked you when you had done it, two months later, that is very bizarre. I have worked in healthcare for 10+ years now, and I have honestly never seen a nanny bring a kid in to an appointment (maybe accompany the parents, but never on their own), let alone to surgery.

Um, hmmmm. Yes, I scheduled all medical, dental and optometrist appointments, took the children by myself and notified the parents when anything extra needed to be done. Tonsils out was known; the parents didn't realize for two months that the girl ot her hair cut. She had had hair down to her butt, but she refused to brush it or allow anyone else to brush it. I told her that she could let me braid it out of the way the day before the surgery or she would have it cut; she elected not to choose, so she had it cut.

Unless you had medical POA, you and all of the doctors/dentists/etc you were taking the kids to were breaking many laws. I simply don't believe any professional (health care professional, not nanny) would actually put themselves in this situation. I think you are full of shit, to be honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the relationship between haircuts and tonsils?

Yes, pp.

Also, seriously, if you really decided to get the girls tonsils out, and the parents asked you when you had done it, two months later, that is very bizarre. I have worked in healthcare for 10+ years now, and I have honestly never seen a nanny bring a kid in to an appointment (maybe accompany the parents, but never on their own), let alone to surgery.

Um, hmmmm. Yes, I scheduled all medical, dental and optometrist appointments, took the children by myself and notified the parents when anything extra needed to be done. Tonsils out was known; the parents didn't realize for two months that the girl ot her hair cut. She had had hair down to her butt, but she refused to brush it or allow anyone else to brush it. I told her that she could let me braid it out of the way the day before the surgery or she would have it cut; she elected not to choose, so she had it cut.

Unless you had medical POA, you and all of the doctors/dentists/etc you were taking the kids to were breaking many laws. I simply don't believe any professional (health care professional, not nanny) would actually put themselves in this situation. I think you are full of shit, to be honest.

NP. I actually do have that notarized form.

[Anonymous]

NP. I also had a notarized form, authorization for anything medically necessary to be initiated while I contacted the parents. The parents didn't have time while at home and they traveled for work, and one child was in and out of the hospital (asthma). The parents couldn't afford for their child to go without medical care while waiting for authorization.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see most nannies start out with lofty intentions to support the parents. However, when you hear from career senior-level nannies who have worked with dozens of varied families, they have a more accurate view of the majority of parents who have nannies. It's simply a rare occurance to find a mb who makes the children a real priority. But the nanny can still hope that her next mb will be better than the current one.

Ah, the nanny world. The place of stunning hypocrisy where it's perfectly acceptable to collect a paycheck that puts food on your table and roof over your head with one hand, and badmouth the family that makes it possible with the other. For years and years and years. Oh I am so sad for my nanny family, I judge them so harshly..yet I continue to collect the money they pay me.

If this makes you so sad, why not pick a family that doesn't? Might it be the lure of higher salaries that come with 60-hr working weeks and high-flying families? Why don't you take a 30-hr job with a low stress level and downsize your life instead? Maybe then you'll be happy. You won't be able to shop at Whole Foods anymore, but hey, at least you'll approve of your employer.