Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep. My parents. More my mom than dad. She's in denial about SO MANY parts of life, has revisionist history, and I just can't stand it. My dad enables her. I talk to him about once a month. Don't really talk to my mom.

This is me also.

Me 3

My sister. She has had mental issues for a while but is married, family, job, etc. Just very manipulative and destructive. In trying to hurt me she hurt my children.

That was it. ZERO contact in over 2 years. Feels soooo good.

I didn't do the cutting off, but let another relative cut me off. I was tired of every single opinion or preference of mine having to line up exactly with theirs to keep peace. It didn't take very long of me politely owning my own views before they started losing their minds. Final straw was when I voted for a different candidate than they did in the presidential election.

Anonymous wrote:Yep. My parents. More my mom than dad. She's in denial about SO MANY parts of life, has revisionist history, and I just can't stand it. My dad enables her. I talk to him about once a month. Don't really talk to my mom.

This is me also.

My mom never worked outside of the home while Dad worked 2 or 3 jobs at a time , for 42 years. Mom had a child then married Dad, and they had 3 children together. Dad explained his & mom's wills would fairly divide their estate equally among the 4 children. Each of us would get 25% , except the 2 girls would get Mom's jewelry collection (gold and diamond jewelry was given for every b-day, anniversary for 42 years, including 2 engagement rings of substantial size). My Father's only son would get all of his jewelry , about 4 pieces. The executor would be the oldest of the 3 children, my father's biological son. When my father died, his estate was over $1 million, not including the house, about 15 years ago. 5 years later, Mom died months after having carotid artery. After the funeral, I received a letter that Mom's will was changed . I would inherit 10% of the estate and if I died before the will was executed, my "branch" would get nothing,it would be returned to the estate. (Meanwhile if Step Bro died before the execution of the will, his portion would go to his wife and kids.) My mother's estate TOTAL was less than $300k INCLUDING the house! Oh and the stepson claimed there was no jewelry, and somehow HE was the executor with his 21 year old son named back-up executor. Step-bro mailed me an anonymous box with an old pic frame, and 4 pieces of broken , fake jewelry. When I questioned my "inheritance", he claimed he did not know "anything". The lawyer who set up this BS went to the same law school as my step-bros son. Other siblings were not so upset and thought I was the "favorite" and had gotten money to buy my two homes , which I did NOT. (Never got anything except that my parents paid for dinners at a sit down wedding that I did not want ) End of story- I do not talk to any of these "siblings". Am I sorry- Nope, should have cut them off years ago when they kept doing shitty things, that I wrote off as, "maybe he/she didn't know" or "didn't mean it", or "let it go because they are family". So YES, sometimes "family" is not family and you NEED to face reality and cut them off. My regret is that I ever defended these scum to my spouse.

Anonymous wrote:You seriously need to learn to 'search' on DCUM. This has been talked about more times than I can count.

Then don't comment if it is redundant to you. I, and other pps currently online, don't mind discussing the subject with OP.

Yes with a sister. She went to a therapist that practiced regressive therapy with their own experiences leading them to conclusions that were BS. After being accused of horrifying acts that never happened it's hard not to attach some responsibility on her for choosing that path.

Fortunately I never lost the support of my parents or siblings even though the therapists tried to convince them otherwise.

My now-23 year old adeptive brother.

Went off the rails in HS because of what I suspect are undiagnosed mental issues (thanks Mom and Dad for ignoring me when I brought them up!). Got big into drugs, not just weed, and eventually hooked on heroin. Starting stealing and lying all the time. When he was 17 he took my car (without asking) while high and destroyed it wrapping it around a tree two blocks from the house, then came home and got physically aggressive with me claiming the car was in bad shape and the steering was jammed causing the accident (it was fine).

I say my parents down (I was 20 at the time) and told them I had no desire to deal with him, I'd visit and be please but don't ask me to deal with or consider him family, after which they disowned me for around a year until I reached out to them after a while and I'm still trying to rebuid our relationship to this day.

It's hard. My parents still try to get me to play some sort of role in his life, still forwarding me the address of whatever crackhouses he is at and I suspect I will never have a good relationship with my parents until I build such a relationship with my brother, but ultimately I can't justify any sort of relationship with him until some major things change.

Yep. My parents. More my mom than dad. She's in denial about SO MANY parts of life, has revisionist history, and I just can't stand it. My dad enables her. I talk to him about once a month. Don't really talk to my mom.

Both of my parents for many months at a time during my horrible first marriage. I see now that this was my ex's way of isolating me. I have restablished relationships with them both, although issues from childhood continue to frustrate me. As they get older, I find that I'd have to be totally heartless to ignore them.

With my mentally ill sibling after an unprovoked violent attack on me while I was holding my 3 year old. I bowed to my mother's pleas to not press charges, but I have never even been in the same room together again in the past two decades.

With a cousin who lied about why she needed to borrow a couple grand and then never repaid it although she knew I was going through a financially rough patch after my divorce. She tells relatives that I can sue on a tv program if I want the money so badly.

Yes, I know that my family is dysfunctional.

You seriously need to learn to 'search' on DCUM. This has been talked about more times than I can count.

case in point: http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/660695.page

and
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/660548.page

and
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/660979.page

and
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/660960.page

and
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/656520.page

obviously, yes. this has been a frequent topic of late. read some recent posts in the family relationships forum.

My husband, with his mother. It lasted about 6 months. She basically blamed him for every bad thing in her life. But she suffers from mental illness (Borderline? Histrionic? Both? And anxiety and bouts of depression, so.)

If so, why?