Is initial attraction important to men?

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[Post New]01/03/2020 10:48
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Anonymous
I don't think that guys really try to date women to whom they're not attracted. I think the visual component is more important to them than it necessarily is to women. At least this is what my guy friends and boyfriends have said.

Now sex? Sometimes a guy will have sex with a woman he is "meh" about, but not necessarily date her. Because sex.

As a woman, my standard starting point of attraction is, "Would I mind seeing any part of this guy naked?" If the answer is "hmm, maybe that would be ok?" I can work with that.
[Post New]01/03/2020 10:57
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Can we all agree once and for all that Jennifer Anniston -- even with all the Botox -- is not and never has been "objectively pretty"? Beauty involves symmetry. No doctor can correct her close-set eyes and manly jawline. She is one step above Tori Spelling, not even fit to approach the footstool of pulchritude.


I am a woman who is into men and attractive women. I concede that her body is banging but that face? Hand me a bag.
[Post New]01/03/2020 12:34
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ZachF
Member Offline
Dumbest post of the year so far. You are a lost cause if men have to explain to you our basic need for attraction.
[Post New]01/03/2020 13:21
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes, initial (sexual) attraction is absolutely essential to men! The good news is that most men are sexually attracted to most women. So this is a relatively low hurdle to clear.


Why does no one ever ask this question about women?!

Sexual attraction is important to us too!


It's not important to women, women look for caregiver not looks, it's science


I could not be with someone I wasn't attracted to. Just couldn't.

Sincerely, a woman
[Post New]01/03/2020 13:25
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Can we all agree once and for all that Jennifer Anniston -- even with all the Botox -- is not and never has been "objectively pretty"? Beauty involves symmetry. No doctor can correct her close-set eyes and manly jawline. She is one step above Tori Spelling, not even fit to approach the footstool of pulchritude.


I am a woman who is into men and attractive women. I concede that her body is banging but that face? Hand me a bag.


I'm not an "objectively pretty" woman and yet I've only ever had relationships with handsome men. I don't have an "objectively" nice body either. So there is something about me that is neither my face nor my body that handsome men like. Go figure.
[Post New]01/03/2020 13:42
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I will agree that I do not find 95% of the men I randomly see attractive. Very few men really do it for me. Maybe I'm unusual in that regard but I doubt it.


This is totally normal for women. You are NOT unusual.


If this is so true, would not see so many men in relationships or married. Total red pill that makes no sense. So all these women are with men they do not find attractive?

The subject thread is about initial (ie physical) attraction. And the fact is, not too many woman would ever look at a guy (any guy) and think to herself "I am physically attracted to that guy". Only a tiny fraction of men ever inspire such thoughts in women (any women). Instead, most marriages and relationships come about because the guy pursues her, then (despite little to zero physical attraction) she gets to know him and her attraction for him develops based on other things (NOT his physical appearance).

Men don't work that way at all. Most men are physically attracted to women everywhere, and it is quite rare that a man would EVER date a women where that initial PHYSICAL attraction is absent.


NP. Is this something you've read somewhere? Are you a woman? Have women told you this?

I'm a woman and in my experience and those of my female friends, it's physical attraction first that's the initial spark. I was extremely physically attracted to my DH when I saw his picture on a dating app and then even more when I met him in person. I was physically attracted to all four men I've seriously dated in my life. Same for every woman I've met and talked to about this subject. I have single friends who are out there dating and they dismiss lots of good-on-paper guys because there's no attraction on their part. I'm sure the attraction deepens the more you get to know and like the person, and lessens if you start to pick up on negative personalities, etc. I think this is just part of human nature.
[Post New]01/03/2020 13:48
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I will agree that I do not find 95% of the men I randomly see attractive. Very few men really do it for me. Maybe I'm unusual in that regard but I doubt it.


This is totally normal for women. You are NOT unusual.


If this is so true, would not see so many men in relationships or married. Total red pill that makes no sense. So all these women are with men they do not find attractive?

The subject thread is about initial (ie physical) attraction. And the fact is, not too many woman would ever look at a guy (any guy) and think to herself "I am physically attracted to that guy". Only a tiny fraction of men ever inspire such thoughts in women (any women). Instead, most marriages and relationships come about because the guy pursues her, then (despite little to zero physical attraction) she gets to know him and her attraction for him develops based on other things (NOT his physical appearance).

Men don't work that way at all. Most men are physically attracted to women everywhere, and it is quite rare that a man would EVER date a women where that initial PHYSICAL attraction is absent.


+1

I don't know where you guys are hanging out but I see attractive men all the time.

Umm ... this is totally untrue. I see plenty of men I'm physically attracted to, and I think that's true for lots of women.
[Post New]01/03/2020 14:04
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I will agree that I do not find 95% of the men I randomly see attractive. Very few men really do it for me. Maybe I'm unusual in that regard but I doubt it.


This is totally normal for women. You are NOT unusual.


If this is so true, would not see so many men in relationships or married. Total red pill that makes no sense. So all these women are with men they do not find attractive?


Woman and I also agree. But to OPs point, there are men I’ve found initially unattractive and wouldn’t be interested, but over time, their personality and other attributes grew on me and made them more attractive. While looks are important to women too, I don’t think we hold the same importance to looks as men do for their partner.
[Post New]01/03/2020 14:45
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Anonymous
My husband said that in the beginning it’s pretty much the only thing that matters to most men.
[Post New]01/03/2020 14:51
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Anonymous
I simply don't believe looks are more important to men than they are to women.

It's just that as a society, we've come to believe women are sexual prudes who only care about finding a man to take care of us.

[Post New]01/06/2020 14:05
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Anonymous
I have definitely found women more or less attractive after getting to know them but that's usually been women I knew socially. The thing with attractiveness is that there is going to be some initial screening during the dating process and it's an easy one to screen for.
[Post New]01/06/2020 18:41
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I have definitely found women more or less attractive after getting to know them but that's usually been women I knew socially. The thing with attractiveness is that there is going to be some initial screening during the dating process and it's an easy one to screen for.


I've met women who I'd describe as smoking hot, until she opened her mouth and then it all just disappeared.
[Post New]01/06/2020 18:51
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Can we all agree once and for all that Jennifer Anniston -- even with all the Botox -- is not and never has been "objectively pretty"? Beauty involves symmetry. No doctor can correct her close-set eyes and manly jawline. She is one step above Tori Spelling, not even fit to approach the footstool of pulchritude.


She's always been hot you weirdo.


Her body is hot but not her face, I agree with the poster above. Unless you're into men jaws pared with thin lips.
We can safely assume that no one brought her picture to a plastic surgeon asking to look like Jen.
[Post New]01/06/2020 21:19
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Physical attractiveness varies. One person's average is another person's hot. For example, Kate Middleton is objectively pretty but does nothing for me. I like ethnic looking women.


I've always felt this way about Jennifer Aniston.

No, not interested in dating a woman I'm not attracted to.

- A man


Woman here. Same goes for some men for me. I can recognize that they're attractive, but they don't do much for me. Then there are other men who might not universally be considered attractive, but they drive me insane.


Me too! The guy I currently can't keep my hands off of doesn't resemble "my type" at all. Attraction isn't just looks. Sparks exist.
[Post New]01/06/2020 21:24
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Anonymous
I can be attracted to someone's smile, stature, voice and mannerisms. It's more than than looks. There's more to being attracted to someone than just the facial features and body type. No one dates someon they don't find attractive in some regard. It doesn't mean they like only their face
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